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krystle d
VIP September 2012

When is the right time to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids?

krystle d, on November 28, 2011 at 10:05 PM Posted in Planning 0 21

I am still figuring out who I want to be my bridesmaids. I already have my MOH. When is the suggested time frame to ask people to be my bridesmaids? I read in previous posts that you don't want to ask too early because things can change. Also, what age is too young to have as bridesmaids? Please help! Thanks Smiley smile

21 Comments

Latest activity by Jasmyn, on March 14, 2016 at 12:00 AM
  • Mrs.Pepperdine
    VIP July 2012
    Mrs.Pepperdine ·
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    There is no age to young =) thats what jr bridesmaids r for! but we asked our party right away! i know some people run into problems but when we asked there was less then a yr till the wedding. hope that helps and welcome by the way! this is a great place!

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  • krystle d
    VIP September 2012
    krystle d ·
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    Thanks! I'm loving this forum and addicted to it lol. And since there is less than a year to my wedding I guess it'd be a good idea to start asking. Did u ask in any particular way?

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  • Ednabug
    Master December 2011
    Ednabug ·
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    My 4 bm's have been my best friends for so many years...no way things were gonna change so I asked them right away...seriously, like the day after he proposed, LOL

    I think it depends on how close you are to them and once you are 100% sure those are who you want.

    I think anyone 15 and above could be a bridesmaid.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    When to start asking really depends on how well you know the people. We asked as soon as we got engaged, but then again, we were asking my children. If you're asking people you've only known for a year or so, or with whom your relationship has been volatile, you may want to wait until about 6 months out.

    The big issue is making sure you are clear on what your expectations are. Basically, in the absence of an agreement, bridesmaids' duties are just to show up on the wedding day in the outfit you have specified (which should be of a cost commensurate with their financial situations). If you expect them to throw a shower and/or bachelorette party, and/or get involved in any part of the planning process, you need to let them know this before they accept.

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  • Nequela
    Devoted June 2013
    Nequela ·
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    Well I asked the day I got engaged lol and I have right not 12 bridemaids and 3 jr brides I mean I know times mayb hard for some so I just looked at it like this if anything change I will be coo if I only have 6 at that time but it would not be for something as far as us falling out or anything like that.

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  • Nequela
    Devoted June 2013
    Nequela ·
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    And welcome to the WW

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  • Mrs.Pepperdine
    VIP July 2012
    Mrs.Pepperdine ·
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    I am only having a moh and i text her like stephen propsed! oh and your my moh Smiley winking

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  • Mrs. Traves
    Devoted June 2012
    Mrs. Traves ·
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    I got engaged in February and asked my bridesmaids a month later, which was still more than a year out but I knew our relationship wouldn't change. I asked them by sending a box with a label on the front saying "Will you be my bridesmaid?" with the picture attached which is chocolate! And then a few little wedding related things, such as a peacock (our theme), a diamond paperweight and also our date of the wedding was in the box!

    And welcome to WW!


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  • krystle d
    VIP September 2012
    krystle d ·
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    Awww cute pic! Ive only asked one of my friends cuz shes my bestie. I am thinking of asking my niece (14) and other cousins who are 14 & 16 since I don't have many close girl friends. I agree 2d Bride, I will make sure they know what duties, if any, they should expect should they accept. Which might only be to show up. For my MOH I made her a little gift box with our black and white theme. Maybe ill do the same to ask my bridesmaids.


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  • K
    Master October 2012
    Kat ·
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    I asked my BMs about a month after getting engaged. My sister was a no-brainer and 3 of my girlfriends I have known for over 15 years and I can't imagine them not being in my wedding. I am also having my FSIL as a BM. I am not as close with her but she is going to be family and I'm glad I asked her because it has made us closer and I think it will be a good way for us to bond.

    I found a website that makes greeting cards for just about any occasion you can think of and they had cards for asking people to be in the wedding party. I picked out a special one for each girl, wrote my own personal note in it and gave it to them at our engagement party. They all thought it was a really cute idea, and it only cost me a couple of bucks. Plus it's sentimental and they can keep it if they want.

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  • JKRuoff
    Expert February 2012
    JKRuoff ·
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    I asked my girls right after we got engaged (MOH is my sister, and then three bridesmaids are close gfs I've had since highschool and throughout all of college). I wanted them to be a part of the planning process, which is why I asked them so early.

    I would agree with 2d Bride - set out your expectations BEFORE letting them except your proposal of being a part of the wedding party. Every bride expects different things from their girls, so I'd think about it before you ask them. If you're not sure of what types of things bridesmaids can be in charge of/responsible for, there are plenty of articles and mini books about it Smiley smile

    Also, think about the dynamics of the group of girls you'll be choosing. Try not to choose girls who are going to clash throughout the planning process - that's stress you don't need! You want girls who are going to support YOU in everything, not always be worried about themselves.

    Welcome to WW! Hope all this helped! Smiley smile

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  • Kiesha
    Super September 2012
    Kiesha ·
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    Yay Date Twin!!!! We knew for the most part who our wedding party was going to be from the get go, but with our date just over 9 months away, i'd ask within the next few weeks! that way the girls have time to get dresses, shoes, etc, AND they are their to help your through the fun/difficult things coming up!

    Welcome to WW!

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  • krystle d
    VIP September 2012
    krystle d ·
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    Thanks JKRuoff and Kiesha! I totally agree! My Moh is doing most of the planning with me and the BM will just show up. One of them I'm thinking of asking to make my cake since she bakes on the side. Guess I should make some final decisions soon!

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  • S3
    VIP May 2012
    S3 ·
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    I asked right away, but I'm only having two: My sister (MOH) and my FSIL (bridesmaid). No drama for me!

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  • Anonymous
    Expert October 2012
    Anonymous ·
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    I asked mine BM's in person. No one was asked over the phone or anything. I wanted to "personally" be with them when I asked. The longest I waited for one of them was roughly a month after I got engaged. I have 5 BM and 2 of them are my sisters MOH. I even asked my FG in person.

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  • antsy
    Super June 2012
    antsy ·
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    I asked mine right away. I also have 2 Jr BMs 13 & 14. I don't think age matters too much though. Its really more about what fits you, your family and you FHs family.

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  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·
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    When you're sure enough about what your wedding will look like that you can tell the people you want to ask what type of event it will be and how much their participation will cost them. That will avoid trouble later when someone decides the dress costs too much, etc.

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  • krystle d
    VIP September 2012
    krystle d ·
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    Well so far my FH GM are all his friends and his brother. He has more close friends than I do which is why I'm considering having my little cousins be my bridesmaids. But now I'm thinking it will look kinda funny.

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  • Amanda
    Super August 2012
    Amanda ·
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    I have a junior bridesmaid in my party. It's not as big of deal as you think it is. I was worried about it as first because it wasnt going to be picture perfect like all the picture i had been drooling over FOREVER! But now I have grasped that fact that it's my wedding and it will be gorgeous and perfect the way that it is. Smiley smile

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  • krystle d
    VIP September 2012
    krystle d ·
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    Youre right Amanda its my wedding and all the people I care about will be there. I guess it shouldn't matter who are my bridesmaids because no one will be judging. Thanks!

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