What is the proper etiquette to state 'no kids allowed'?
We are having our wedding at a winery and we do not want children to attend. My aunt/uncle have a young son and the aunt/uncle were invited to my brother's wedding last year but they assumed that their son was invited also so they wrote him in on the invitation even though it was only addressed to them.

I don't want that same thing to happen with our wedding so how do I put this on the invitation? I am already going to put their names on it but feel I need to go one step further. I am thinking about saying 'We regret not being able to invite children as this is an adults-only event' at the top of our insert but do not want to sound harsh.

What do you think?

Married: 09/19/2009
Posted On: Feb 22, 2009 at 7:23 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate2 likes

29 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Feb 22, 2009 at 8:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that no matter how you word this you should be ready for the back-lash! For some strange reason this is a touchy subject. Don't ask me why, but some parents simply do not understand the idea of an event being for adults only and take it as a personal offense against their precious offspring. The way you worded it could work. Or you could say something like "Please come enjoy an adult evening at the winery." I would hope that the winery aspect of the wedding would help them understand why it's for adults. You could still be stuck making an awkward phone call since they have added their children before. People I know with kids have told me that if an invite is addressed only to the parents and not to "family" they KNOW that means no kids. I'm thinking your aunt/uncle chose to ignore this before and will be willing to do it again. Don't feel guilty for having an adult wedding , just be ready to politely defend it

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Feb 22, 2009 at 9:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
At the bottom simply write "Adult Only Reception" It's not harsh it's just a fact. But believe me you will get backlash just like Laura said. Just remember it's your wedding & it's at a winery & that is no place for children.

Married: 07/25/2009
Reviews: 5
Feb 22, 2009 at 10:18 PM • 
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Feb 22, 2009 at 10:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Unfortunately thre is not an easy way except being very direct with this. one way out you may have is to plan a special day for the kids to attend. Maybe a chain like Chuckee cheese for dinner or depending on if there is an additional room that you could rent and fill it with Video games, movies and other stuff to keep the kids busy. the hard this is what constitutes a child if the parents have gaps in ages or from a previous marriage will a 13-16 yo be welcome it can be tricky but if you write their names on the inside envelope I guess you could avoid this. Just remember people are going to talk even though these kids do not want at your wedding anyway (no offense to you it is just a general thing) The parents are the ones with a problem but if you provide activities you should feel guilt free even if you do not be prepared for people to be unavailable- Also Do not cave on even one person then you will really have a mutiny on your hands

Married: 07/11/2009
Reviews: 2
Feb 22, 2009 at 11:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Definitely satte it lol. I have said it on a million of these but just state its an adult only affair you could even take it a step further and put a babysitting agency or something on it for them!

Married: 08/22/2009
Feb 23, 2009 at 3:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am having an adult only wedding this August. Not only did we not want children there but friends and family had a combined total of about 30 children. Not only is that expensive, but that is a classroom. Grooms sister was upset at first, thought we should make an exception for family, but once you start making exceptions, it goes downhill quickly (people will think - well what is wrong with my children, they are so perfectly behaved.) Remember this is YOUR wedding YOU are paying for it, not them. If they wanted kids at their wedding, good for them. This, how ever is your day.
Also, I used to work at wedding receptions as a waitress... having kids there is usually a VERY bas idea. Especially at night. They are bored, uncomfortable and run EVERYWHERE. If people can't come b/c they can't find a sitter, than so be it.

Married: 08/22/2009
Feb 23, 2009 at 3:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You could also have your other family members put out the word that it is an adult only reception.
I have a friend who had a guest write in the kids names. She had to make a very awkward phone call to explain that the children were not invited.

Married: 06/28/2009
Reviews: 5
Feb 23, 2009 at 11:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
well when invitations are sent it it usually is addressed to mr and mrs so so and if the whole family is invited it says mr. and mrs and family. even though people will always complain the polite way to do it would be in the addressing of the invite
thats my thought its usually clear enough

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Feb 24, 2009 at 10:42 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm putting right on the response card at the bottom "Adult Reception"...so they can't miss it when they are filling out their names and number of persons. If someone thinks that's harsh, they need to just toughen up a little :)

Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 24, 2009 at 11:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Had I known my little guy was going to turn out to be such a little Hellian, I would have considered doing Adults Only, but since we're doing something as a Destination Vow Renewal, I have nobody to leave him home with and he's in our ceremony. We only have a total of 6 kids which isn't much, but I might see if we can get a room for them and provide entertainment for them and have somebody watch them. Really whomever it's addressed to should indicate that no children are invited and make other arrangements for the little kiddos. I had a cousin who did Adults Only and only my 2 youngest 1st cousins who were 11 and 13 were invited to the Reception since they were well behaved and were part of the Bridal Party (handed out Programs and Bubbles). I'm instead of doing reply cards going to invest in the RSVP websites with a phone number they have to call and if anyone tries to add anyone else not on the invitation, have them do the akward part of telling the guest, sorry no extras.

Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 24, 2009 at 11:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Also have them handle the akward calls to the guests who haven't replied yet.

Married: 09/04/2009
Feb 24, 2009 at 2:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have two children and with the exception of my children's first cousins i will be having no other children, its just so much more better when you dont have a ton of kids running around and messing things up! but in regards to my invitations i will be putting Adult Reception and on the bottom of that No Children Please, because sometimes Adult Reception isn't clear enough for some people, i think adding the "please" to it makes it sound a bit more polite.

Married: 10/23/2009
Feb 24, 2009 at 3:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am also having a "no children wedding" my children and my sisters children will be attending because they are in the wedding party but besides that no one elses. We wanted this to be an all adult event since it's a out of state wedding more like a mini-vacation for the adults. I will be putting in the rsvp card at the bottom adult only wedding.

Married: 06/05/2010
Feb 25, 2009 at 2:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i received an invitation to a wedding one time and the last line was:

"May your children have sweet dreams"

meaning leave them at home and in bed! lol I thought i was cute, but DF didn't think everyone would understand.

Married: 10/30/2010
Reviews: 13
Mar 04, 2009 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Maybe it's just me but I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about me not having children, other than those included in the bridal party at the wedding. I'm pating $35.00 a plate as it is for kids to eat chicken fingers. I'm with Meghan78 its your day and adults want to have an evening for themselves to unwind and enjoy themselves. So I would put on the invitation "This is an Adult Affair" if they don't like it..it saves you money while they stay home and sulk.

Married: 04/10/2009
Reviews: 5
Mar 04, 2009 at 12:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You are always going to have someone who doesn't like it or agree...we are having that problem right now. However, we simply put on the response card that this was an adult only affair. For family who thought they were exempt from this when they rsvp we kindly let them know again that this was just for them and their husband...they weren't happy about it but they also aren't paying the bill and we don't want children where there is beer and wine being served. We put mr and mrs so and so and they still thought they were exempt it sometimes is necessary to go the extra step. good luck! This was the most stress we had with the wedding

Married: 05/22/2009
Reviews: 7
Mar 04, 2009 at 11:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Adult reception

i regret not putting it on my invitations. I put it on my web site instead

Married: 06/12/2009
Reviews: 2
Mar 10, 2009 at 12:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We've received a bit of grief, but my fiance and I are doing the same thing. Our invitations say,
"Though children are a gift from God, we respectfully ask that this be an adults-only ceremony and reception."
We simply cannot afford to pay for a million three-year-olds who will not remember it anyways. :)


Mar 11, 2009 at 1:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The most acceptable way to inform guests is to refer to the reception as an Adult Reception on the reception card. While it is perfectly acceptable to plan an evening just for adults, understand that this will likely mean that some of your guests will not be able to attend. While there may be a few who are angry about the exclusion of children, for most who decline it will be simply because they can't arrange childcare. This is especially true for parents who need to travel a great distance for the wedding or for those with very young babies.

Married: 08/22/2009
Mar 11, 2009 at 1:08 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
it's pretty sad that people don't want children at their wedding. But I guess it would cramp a stuffy wedding's style! We will be hiring a local high school/college student to watch and play with small kids in a separate area during the ceremony. and since we're an outside reception, kids can run around all they want! Children are part of your family and society and there is no reason why they shouldn't be able to find joy in the union of two people who love each other.

And by age 6 children are capable of sitting quietly during the ceremony... at least my daughter is - but I guess not everyone raises their kids to be respectful at such moments.
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