Premarital Counseling...Yes or no?

I confess, I am biased-- I am a family therapist. I think pre-marital counseling is an *excellent* idea. You can work out things you hadn't thought to discuss (such as-- can parents and siblings come live with you? What if you got pregnant and the baby had a deformity-- what would you do? Will you raise the children in your religion or his? Do you want children at all?), how will money be handled/shared? If nothing comes up-- great, you've invested a little money (compared to the price of your wedding and a possible divorce) to vastly increase your odds of a happy marriage. If something *does* come up, you can work through it *before* emotions are high, while things are still hypothetical.

It was required by our church and we actually enjoyed it.

Could be a great way to meet other couples... And I definitely don't think it could be bad. I will probably do it because I don't really see the downside- if anything other couples issues will make you feel even better about your own

Hey Zoe...My fellow therapist. YES! Premarital counseling can help bring a lot of clarity to issues no matter how small. Also, it can cover things you may have never thought to discuss. It is definitely beneficial in my opinion. Look at it like this. Put in a few weeks, lay the groundwork for a successful marriage, gather tools to address many conflicts that may arise. Or..don't.

We didn't do it, but probably could have benefitted from it.

I always think it can't hurt. You may learn some helpful tools you may or may not need in the future. Even people that think they have the healthiest relationship in the world could learn something.

In the state of Texas they offer a discount if you attend a qualified premarital class before applying for your marriage license. It makes the license almost free. I already wanted to take a class just out of curiosity. (I'm one of those people that thinks our relationship is already awesome but it never hurts to seek betterment for yourself.) It's just a bonus that we will end up getting the discount. Lol.

Now I just have to find a class that is while FH is home... Dang oilfield work schedule...

I honestly can not imagine anything worse, but then counselling is not and nor has it ever been something I have been interested in one bit or something that actually I could ever do or would ever do willingly

(I've been lucky both time the Catholic church or rather my priest has waved the need for it)

I'm with Mallory, but sadly, we are attending our first counseling session tomorrow evening. FH is excited and thinks it will be beneficial. I'm in the mindset of "don't fix what's not broken."

Do it! It was the most amazing thing I've ever done for my relationship and I recommend it to all of my friends when they get engaged. I was required to do it by the Catholic Church. instead of Saturday classes we went on a weekend long retreat. I thought it would be like other retreats where you interact with all people. But it was not, it was 100% you and your fiancé focused on each other and your relationship. The only time I interact with Other couples were at the meals. We learned how we each needed each other to communicate and we talked about all the important issues that you should talk about before you were married. Do it!

We did not. We are not religious and most of the big issues were discussed way before we got married (we dated for 5 years) we shared our most darkest secrets, fears, and desires. I don't regret not doing any sort of counseling, but I see how many people do benefit, so I' not against it.

We did premarital counseling through our church and really enjoyed it. I wish more pastors required it.

We did it with the pastor we hired to do our ceremony. FH and I aren't religious and our pastor made it pretty secular. I absolutely loved pre-marital counseling! It's not counseling in the sense of you are going in because you are having problems or something is wrong. Pre-marital counseling is all about learning about how to communicate effectively, to love and respect one another, and to talk about the big and small things. Even though FH and I pretty much had covered all of the big stuff after three years of dating, I feel like counseling was a really fun way to go over it all again with a third party there to help guide the conversation. Plus it was a really great way to get to know the pastor officiating our ceremony and have him get to know us as a couple.

Yes!, yes!, yes! We did "Prepare and Enrich" I really enjoyed it, we both did.

We did it and it was really helpful. The other couples issues, views, opinions, etc didn't really effect us but it did bring up some ideas that we hadn't talked about yet such as where are our parents going to live when they can no longer live on their own. For us it was super helpful, I recommend it.

Our church required about 6 months worth. That may seem like a long time but, it really is for the best. The program(s) is designed to bring up topics couples typically dont think of and really works at strengthening your relationship instead of trying to tear it apart like some people presume. My fiance and I are currently going through it and it has been a great experience!

We did not do religious premarital counseling but it was awesome! So glad we did it.

We didn't do it...I'm sure it wouldn't have hurt but we just didn't make the time. We are good communicators though and had been together 6 years prior to marriage.

We aren't. We aren't religious so it isn't required for getting married like it was for some of FH's siblings that married at his family's church. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to go, but we're really open with each other and don't need a third party to our discussions. As to Zoe's topics, who hasn't already talked and planned on those type of things before marrying?

It's required by our church. I'm kind of excited for it.

Yes, we are going to do it through our church. Both FH and I are looking forward to it!