How to deal with wedding guests that won't dress up for the event?

We kind of have the same issue! Our wedding is semi casual, but we don't want jeans sagging to the ground and sweaty old t shirts.

At my brother's wedding my cousins showed up in what seemed to be clothes they were gardening outside in to the wedding.. it was mortifying for my brother. Only thing I've done so far is on my wedding website mentioned kind of dos and don'ts for our reception attire.

IT seems like every wedding I have attended there have been the jeans and a "dressy" shirt kind of people. As for dealing with them maybe you could just drop hints like: "I just saw this great dress" or "I heard so and so was going to wear this to the wedding."

You definately want to be subtle because you don't want to burn ties with your new family.

You could always blame it on the venue-- that's what I'm doing, though it actually happens to be true for me. I am getting married at a country club and they have a strict no jeans policy. They wouldn't even let me visit the club if I was wearing jeans! You could include a note with your invitation that would either refer people to your website or let them know basic info about your wedding, including attire. Just say that your venue won't allow anyone in who is wearing such and such (hopefully you aren't having an at home wedding or it wouldn't work). Good luck!

Include something in you invitation about the appropriate wedding attire that you would like your guest to wear.

I agree about putting it in your invitations, just put that although you would love for everyone to comfortable, your venue does not allow jeans nor t-shirts, if they don't take the hint from that, then they clearly do not care about anyone. Good luck hon

At the bottom of our invitations we added this:

www.weddingwire.com website info

Semi-Formal Attire

That way whoever didn;t know what it meant could google semi-formal, we also passed the word of mouth that we would not be excited about people showing up in sundresses and jeans (our reception was 7:30pm-11:30).

YIKES!! I just had to lecture my FH about jeans and a dress shirt! I told him that it was rude, disrespectful, and when people say "Glad you dressed up!" when thats what your wearing, they really mean, why on earth did you come in that? He also complained about other guys there in jeans and what not, and I said, "Not my fault that they weren't taught that you DO NOT wear jeans to a wedding" But yes, post it on the website stating that the venue frowns apoun jeans and a t-shirt, also have you FH start to spread the wors that jeans and a dess shirt are not acceptable! YEESH people!

I would put it in my wedding invitation "Semi-formal attire required" and even assign a couple family/friends that you trust to stand at the door and work as ushers. They can advise anyone not dressed appropriately that they need to change into something more appropriate as it is required (you dont have to say required by who). Or, if you have a wedding coordinator, ask them to devise a plan - as that is what they are there for. That takes the responsibility and burdon off you and you do not need to worry about your special day.

Some people just kill me! i went ot a wedding where a mother was dressed to the nines but her kids were in torn tee shirts and jeans and her husband was in fishing clothes (with the same HAT he wore to the fishing stag he wore the week before). some peopel have NO clue. we out FORMAL ATTIRE REQUIRED on our invites. i have had LOTS of questions on it...GOOD! i mean think of it this way...you have a bride whos wearing a dress that is gonna range quite high in the numbers...dress accordingly...its not rocket science!!

I have a slightly different opinion than everyone else. Hear me out on this one:

- DEFINITELY put a card insert or something with your invitation stating the type of dress, and include and explanation with it as to what it means.

- That's really all you can do. If somebody shows up in jeans and t-shirts, why are YOU embarrassed? It has nothing to do with you.....it has to do with those that showed up dressed that way. They're the ones that will have to be embarrassed. I say there are SO many other things to worry about the day of your wedding, and this is beyond your control, so just ignore it and continue to enjoy your day! Do'nt waste your stress on something that you have no control over. Be embarrassed FOR them, but go on with your day and enjoy your wedding!

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be mean. What I would put in the invitation with a nice little note is formal/semi formal wear. And put no jeans/ tennis shoes/ hats are not promitted. This is what actually what clubs do. I will also tell them directly in their face that I would love for you to come to the wedding, but you can not wear jeans. This is an semi-formal wear event and anyone with jeans can not attend. Also they may not know what semi-formal is and maybe you can go shopping with them or put someone in charge to go with them. And if they have women in their lives chat with them and tell them. They will get the problem solved for you.

I agree with Squawkbox (again, lol). They are the ones who should be embarrassed, when I see people who obviously don't get it I blame them, no the bride and groom- so don't think this reflects badly on you. Tasteful reminders are about all you can do.

Really, just let go after that. Focus on the important stuff that you'll remember in 50 years... you'll be laughing at them at that point

I put "formal attire please" on my invites, having a beach wedding, i knew ppl would think, "oh beach? hawaiian shirt and filp flops!" which is not what we wanted, even putting formal attire instead of simi formal or cocktail, people still dressed it down, thank god there werent any jeans, but some kids, and by kids i mean like 17-20 showed up in button up shirts and ties, and dickies shorts. yea not too cool, but what squawkbox said, its them that look bad, not you. if everyone else is dressed up, they will feel out of place in their jeans, and maybe this will be a lesson to them. hopefully...

I agree with squawkbox also. its not embarrassing to you but at least if you try and control it up front and let people know hopefully youo cann minimize it! your day wont be ruined because someone is wearing jeans!

OMG I completely forgot about that and I just sent out half of my invites today!!!!

This could be terrible... LOL

First of all you cant really dictate how people come to your wedding but you can certainly SUGGEST what you think is appropriate. Most people know that anything in the evening suggests a more formal affair but your right I am sure every family has those people that would come in jeans and a t-shirt and really are clueless.

I MEANT to put on my invites "Semi-formal attire requested" but apparently clearly forgot... DARNIT!!!

I would suggest doing that.

Don't worry about it. You have so much stuff to plan, don't sweat the small stuff. Just ask the photographer to try to not photograph the people that are dressed in an inappropriate fashion. Plus you will stand out even more in your gorgeous dress!!! My grandfather showed up to a wedding in jeans, flannel and work boots. So, for the next wedding we made him be part of the wedding party so that he had to wear a tuxedo.

It is okay to put in the left or right corner of the invitation "Black Tie" or "Dressy Casual". A lot of venues have dress codes too. You may also have it printed on the reception card, if you are including one, or even a separate card, if its in the budget. I've had brides simply phone those relatives that tend to do that and remind them that it is a formal affair (actually that is part of my job as a planner.) This is one of those sticky family situations that having a wedding planner alleviates. If I call those family members, they don't feel insulted, because my brides can say that the wedding planner insisted. That's part of our job, to handle sticky family situations for the bride. This is not small stuff, it can ruin photos, and the general overall feel of what you are paying top dollar for. Who wants to pay $10,000 for a reception in a fancy hall and have "Cousin Ed" in his jeans and t-shirt? Hire a wedding planner if you have to, just to handle this.

Uhmm, im going to "think outside the box" for a minute

My advise to you would be to tell your hubby to be to deal with his side, and you deal with yours. He can tell his mom to spread the news that its not a byob in a backyard, and you can do the same on your side. Its less friction than if you were to confront his cousins, or him yours.

Bring up ideas like "im so excited to see how fancy we all look in the pictures" and such, lead them to believe they will make you VERY happy if they bought a pair of dress pants.

My second idea, is to not sweat the small stuff. YOU arent showing up in jeans, and believe me...when you get up onto that alter, you wont see a single face in the crowd. Jeans will have vanished from your mind. When I was on the stone bridge I got married on, I was blissfully unaware of every single thing around me, including the massive hornet nest 3 feet in front of me under the bridge. (I am VERY phobic of bees)

So just enjoy your day and drop hints like its christmas!

Weddings are about your love and sharing it with your family. Why should you care what people wear? It's pretty selfish and petty to make people be uncomfortable at your wedding just to make you feel better.