For the people who didn't know the correct way to ask for money Instead of a gift.

*at the end of the day...what the hell did WW do this morning? I don't see any changes on my end.

Will result in hurt feelings and people you love thinking you're a bit materialistic.

For the record, FS and I are not registered anywhere, we live in a small apartment and just cannot handle any more stuff. We would appreciate cash gifts, however, we mostly just want our friends and family to come celebrate with us. So we're just letting folks know that via word of mouth.

We set up a registry at http://www.ourwishingwell.com

We did not put the information anywhere. Our parents know about it and if anyone asks where we are registered that is the information we want used. Living in Australia makes it almost impossible to take gifts home with us after the wedding. So we figured that if anyone could not figure it out on there own that would be the best way to handle it.

That's my point: to each his/her own. This wasn't an opinion piece. It was just providing information for those that may need it. And instead of them just being able to write a thank you/good idea to the poster, they have to now defend to other WW brides why they're asking for money. That's ridiculous to me. People should have the wedding that they want, without judgement. And there's been a lot of judgement on here, "IMO." What's that saying... "You like it I love it." OK.

@Jasmine - I don't think anyone's saying cash gifts are a terrible thing. And, yes, "to each his/her own" is fine...but if your "own" is something that many people will find offensive, then it's helpful to be aware of that fact.

The thing I like about WW girls is that they're upfront and will tell you that something you're planning is going to lead to hurt feelings and/or drama. Etiquette doesn't exist to be "stuffy" or un-fun, it exists so people feel respected and comfortable.

Where I got annoyed is that the OP listed this as the "correct" way to ask for money. There is no "correct" way to ask for money, and if there was, putting a twee poem in your invites is definitely NOT the way to go about it. Want to hop down the aisle on a Pogo stick to the strains of "Babalu"? I'll applaud your unique vision. Want to add something to your invites that's going to hurt people's feelings? I'm going to speak up. Simple as that.

To each his own is fine....but when it's posted in a public forum you can expect lots of opinions. And if opinions aren't welcome, what's the point of any of us posting anything? Every thread on a forum is an opinion piece.

If someone thinks something is a bad idea they will speak up- and I'm glad bc those concerns need to be brought up. Honest opinions are the reason many of us are here. Some new bride is going to search google and this thread will come up. If no one spoke up, she would continue thinking it's completely okay to ask for gifts. At least by reading this thread with multiple views and opinions, she will get the full picture and not just some one-sided view. She can then make a decision that makes her happy, but at least she'll be prepared and understand there are differing opinions on the topic.

@ Kathy R... I was born and raised on the west coast and have never been to a wedding without a dollar dance. I think they are fun and I've never had a problem pinning a $10 on a groom for a dance.

Victoria, I too have never been to a wedding without a dollar dance. It's just the norm in my area.

I'm in Orange County CA and we will be having a dollar dance. It's really not about money though. It's more about the fun and the tradition. It's a way to spend individual time with your guests and a chance to let loose. Dancing is fun and in my family, guests cut in and just act silly. It's a lot of fun for everyone. And I don't understand how giving $1 has been compared to asking for cash gifts? $1 is not breaking anyone's bank and if it is, they definitely don't have to participate...and no one would even notice if they didn't.

I think asking for money depends on who is invited to the wedding. I know that mine, and Hubby's family would all appreciate the ease of giving money (another reason why we're doing it)instead of shopping for gifts, and beating eachother to the good stuff on a registry. I know it's been done before in our families, and went over quite well. I think the poems are cute, but I can see how they could offend some.

I like that Victoria. I know up here In Boston and the culture of my Cape Verdean family, they pin money on the groom.

Ladies we all have different views, and that is okay. for who ever ask for money or registers at a store, bank ect... It's their wishes.

You can also use depositagift.com. Its a cash registry.

*sigh* There is no nice way of demanding money from people who are there as guests. Their presence should be gift enough. If I got one of those poems I would consider it as offensive as someone asking me to buy a ticket to attend their wedding.

I enjoyed reading all of these posts. I am one of the brides and individuals who don’t find it offensive to ask for money. It is a new age and we do a lot of things that breaks "tradition” like have sex before marriage, living with our partner before marriage, or wearing white when you already had sex. Traditions change with generations. Many have received gift from people and re-gifted them or even taking them back. So don’t waste any ones time by having them get you something you don’t want or need. For those of you who are asking for money or gifts cards power to you, because I am one of them. Those individuals who have been invited to the wedding already know that I am not registered and I am looking for monetary gifts. I have been living on my own since I was 18 years old and I don’t need a lot. So make it easy for them and myself there is no registry.

I am definately going to be snagging one of these poems, quite simply because I do not want to spend my time taking back things that i do not care to own! Its YOUR wedding do whatever the heck makes you smile and who cares what anyone thinks?!

I think it depends on who you ask... Our condo is small and it's full so we aren't registering for much. We are trying to save for a down payment for a house so both of us have asked around about how to approach this subject. In my family, it would be tacky to ask for money. But everyone my fiance talks to says "Great! Now i don't have to go shopping!"

My fiance and I are getting married in May next year and with 2 kids we have all we need. We've already been asked what we need and we tell people a gift of your talents to make our day special will mean more to us than a material gift. Most of our friends and family just don't have the means to purchase gifts for us. Their gift of talent makes them feel special and keeps us under budget as we don't have a lot of funds for the wedding either. Just telling our guests that some have asked if they could give cash instead of a talent, we told them that's fine too if they wish. So far our gifts of talent include hairstyling, DJ, a potluck dinner, wedding cake, and ceremony venue at little to no cost to us.

I don't understand how asking for money is considered inappropriate, whereas asking for a gift is not. Asking for a gift is the same thing, in my opinion, since money is required for purchasing a gift.

What about the couples who have been together for years and have all of the household items that they need? How do you get around using a registry?

I actually thought the poem idea was unique and fun. I plan on having a wishing well and I was stuck on how to notify people that I am having one and not a registry. However, I plan on posting the poem on my website and using word of mouth.

I am flying in for my wedding and with us flying in we would like to have money just so that we don't have to pay for extra luggage to bring onto to the plan.

ANY SUGGESTIONS?!