Just watched episode of today(Kathie Lee and hoda) from Facebook where they were promoting Zola and registering for cash but as things such as puppy fund or new house funds. Makes it seem that it's no longer taboo if you register this way, just still don't ask outright for cash. Registering is different. On Zola you can set it so the fee Zola takes comes from your end not the guests end. So they still only pay say 100 but you get 95 they just don't know that. Just food for thought. Don't bite my ears off.
Yeah this site isn’t into this concept. That being said, we did use Zola and Bed Bath and Beyond. Some people bought us gifts, some people bought stuff from Zola, and some people gave us cash. I liked all the options on Zola like the wine of the month club, Blue Apron meal, etc.
Gift registries were taboo once upon a time, so things change. But I don't understand how taking from your end or the guests end is any different. Either way, you are getting less than the person gave, right? I don't really buy into the "anti-honeyfund" idea that's prevalent here; registries themselves are pretty rude. The honeyfund is just as "rude" as any gift registry. To me, "Here's this list of things we want" is no different to me than "here are things we'd like on our honeymoon". It's still asking for stuff. Personally, I have enjoyed the honeymoon registry as a gift giver - I usually contribute for pet-sitting.
Research the forums; the majority of WW community doesn't like or support honeyfunds. It's wonderful if a guest chooses to give a gift, but it shouldn't be expected from them. Just don't have a registry and don't let a company take a portion of the gift your friends and family intende d for you.
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I don’t think it’s presented the way you quoted. But, in any case, it depends on your audience! I’ve been to several weddings where there was a “cash” registry and it was fine. Plus, our wedding is a Nigerian wedding where majority of the guests prefer to give cash anyway
I prefer to give cash, but if you’re asking me for it? That doesn’t sit well with me. A gift registry is meant as a guide so you know what a couple needs for their home. You can purchase physical gifts that aren’t on someone’s registry. Obviously couples need money. Everyone needs money- it’s how we pay for things. I don’t need to be told you need money. Also, obviously shows like Today and other major network/websites would support this because Zola is a huge advertiser. Just because some people are for it doesn’t mean you won’t have guests talking about it behind your back.
Something to keep in mind too- if you do a “home fund” in order to fund a down payment on a house, it’s possible the bank you are getting a mortgage from will require letters from those who gave gifts toward it stating that that’s what the money is for. Banks don’t like to give large loans to people who needed other people’s money to buy a home.
People gave me multiple gift cards for Disney and for our cruise. I registered at BBB but only received a few gifts from there. Loved the fact that I did not have to spend extra money on special meals and excursions on my honeymoon.
I'm using Zola for my gift registry, but the honeymoon fund still doesn't sit right with me. Most honeyfund sites will let you register for, say, "skydiving" on your honeymoon. They're still just going to deposit cash into your back account, so it's inherently deceitful. Also, why would you want to use a service that takes any % of the money your guests give you? Even if it comes out of your end, you're still losing money at some point in the transaction.
I don't have very strong feelings one way or another, but if you make a small registry people will likely give you cash anyway and you get to keep all of it... It just doesn't make sense to me why you would involve a middle man in that transaction.
Going to the chapel ·
In all probability, Zola is advertising on Today, thus the story by the hosts. Doesn't make asking for money appropriate.
Just because the Today show held a segment about a company who is probably a monetary sponsor of theirs in some way does not mean its an etiquette approved thing or even that the majority of american's agreed it was now okay. It means Zola paid money to the Today show for advertising and product placement.
The issue with honeyfunds is that it IS deceitful. Your Aunt Sally isn't actually gifting you that snorking adventure in Antigua - she's using a third party website to send you cash, which she either has to pay extra to send or you have to receive less of - when she could jsut write you check and you receive the full amount of that check. Arbitrarily giving to a third party a part of your gift - when that third party does nothing to earn that money other then processing the payment is just stupid. Who wants to be gifted something and only receive 3/4 of it?
I still will never understand how "traditional" registries are fine but honeyfunds are "rude." A gift is a gift, whether it's a toaster or cash. I'd personally much rather donate to a honeyfund because then I don't have to go shopping, wrap the present, etc. It's much more convenient. To each their own. We have a honeyfund set up as well as a traditional registry and no one has said anything negative about it.
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To your face anyway. It's just the changing times. Maybe one day it will be as accepted as the BBB registry. How about everyone does what works for them. I agree with Sarah though, I don't need to be told you want cash. If you don't have a registry then that's obviously what you would prefer. Use that cash as you please.
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I agree that everyone should do what they want. But the comments on this site get out of hand when it comes to this, like “to your face anyway.” It’s unnecessary especially after advocating for people doing what they want to do. I know my family and friends well enough to know they aren’t talking behind my back about something as silly as what kind of registry I have.
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I wasn't trying to be rude. I was just saying just because they don't say anything to you doesn't mean they aren't making a comment to someone else. There's absolutely no way of knowing. Someone is going to have something bad to say about your wedding, regardless of what it is and how close they are to you. I'm saying it shouldn't matter because it's what you want.
I think like it or not it is becoming more popular and accepted. I don't like it because I'm not cool with the websites making money off my guests (or me) and while I think they look fun, I agree they are deceitful. I was 100% sold on a Disney honeymoon registry, until I learned more about it. I think if people are going to do it they have to give up the idea of having a shower. I have mentioned to several friends that my sister and mother are planning a shower against my wishes, I don't want one because we have lived together for a while and have what we need. They have all suggested we register for honeymoon or honeyfund items instead because they have been to showers where this is the norm and no one will mind. I'm just not okay with it.
I guess I’m a traditionalist, because I feel like it’s somehow rude to ask for money for something like a honeymoon, which should be paid in advance. It was traditionally the mans responsibility to pay for it, and to an older woman like me, seems a bit of a cut on the husband-to-be when it’s listed on a registry. It kind of seems like we’re being asked to help pay for something which goes along with a wedding, too, rather than being happy guests?!? I don’t know. I prefer to give money to the couple and have them let me know how they used it in a “thank-you” if they wish. Also, it’s not been looked down upon to have a registry; just to announce it! You would make a registry, and if someone wanted to know if you had one, they would ask a mother or other relative. It would never be on the invitation! Later it was allowed on the shower invite but of course not the wedding invite. Even if you’ve been living together, a registry let’s ppl know your taste and style, and allows you to ask for special things; things that will last, like a pewter platter or beautiful wine glasses you’d never splurge on for yourself.