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Savvy May 2023

Youth group roles?

Kaitlin, on June 17, 2018 at 12:51 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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Hello everyone! I hope you can help me with a predicament. I’ve been the leader of my 7th-8th grade youth group for years now, and I’d love to have the 10-ish girls come to my wedding. They’d also love to come. The problem is, if I invite them, I obviously have to invite their parents also. I’m already pretty full on my guest budget, so that’s not really an option as of now. So I thought maybe I could give them a special role in my wedding/wedding planning. They’re all about 12-13, so too old to be flower girls, and I don’t think they’re mature enough to be bridesmaids, especially if I do a lingerie shower... I’m stuck! Any ideas? Should I just leave them out of it?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Christin, on June 17, 2018 at 3:46 PM

Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on June 17, 2018 at 12:55 PM
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If you can't afford to invite them with their parents to the reception, don't invite them. Some might say to invite them to the ceremony, but that would be a major pain for the parents. Making sure the girls are ready on time, taking them to the venue and then picking them up from the venue. Plus, at that age, I would have been a little sad knowing that everyone else was heading off to have fun at the reception and I wasn't.
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on June 17, 2018 at 12:57 PM
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How would giving them a special role change that you can’t afford to invite their parents?
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on June 17, 2018 at 1:11 PM
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We all need to learn to set boundaries between our personal, work and community lives.
Wedding guests should be your nearest and dearest friends and relatives. I would leave them out of it.
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Savvy May 2023
Kaitlin · on June 17, 2018 at 1:15 PM
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Alright thanks guys! I’ll have to leave them out of it.
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Dedicated April 2019
Sassi · on June 17, 2018 at 1:51 PM
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If you really want to invite them, make them junior bridesmaids or readers. They could read portions of the same poem so maybe choose 3 or 4. If they ride in the limo with you, their parents wouldn't need to provide rides. If you don't know their parents, I doubt you're required to invite them. As teens, they can feed themselves and most likely stay out of trouble enough to not need a sitter.
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Master August 2019
Tpatb · on June 17, 2018 at 1:52 PM
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I slightly agree w/ everyone above, but if their parents were willing to pick them up after the ceremony or reception you could make them hostesses to answer your question.
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Devoted May 2019
Christin · on June 17, 2018 at 3:46 PM
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I'm a Director of Christian Education at a church and am having the same kind of dilemma but I think I'm just going to keep them up to date by showing them pictures of my dress and then sharing photos after the wedding. It's a nice way for them to feel included but to keep your personal life personal enough.
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