Your honest opinion! Dessert Reception for Better Honeymoon?

Yikes! No, if you have guests traveling from out of town you absolutely need to provide a full meal. If you’d rather invest in a better honeymoon, cut your guest list. Or do an afternoon wedding (dessert only) but only invite local guests.

If your gonna do this make sure your Reception starts around 2 o’clock not many people are gonna want to dance and leave early so I would say now as a guest I would not like only eating desserts I would do heavy appetizers and maybe even a few stations

I probably wouldn’t travel a long distance for a short cake and punch reception to be honest.

I would be upset if I traveled a long distance for just dessert. I think you need to do one of four things: do a full reception and cut your guest list to save money, do a local-only guest list with a dessert reception in the mid-afternoon, find other places to cut the budget (venue, etc.), or compromise on the honeymoon. But I really don't think you can politely host a dessert-only reception with lots of OOT guests.

There's no law that says a full meal is required. In some social circles, a full meal at wedding is not done so I would never assume anything. But every group is different. Is it possible to have a local restaurant cater? They can provide a full meal at a fraction of what a wedding caterer would charge so you get the best of both worlds. They probably won't have staff to serve is the only drawback.

Since you have a lot of guests traveling then I would definitely serve a full meal. Also, depending on the time they are going to expect a meal.

I think it’s fine to do a cake and punch only but once you said a lot of guests were out of town I agree with what pps have said that I wouldn’t travel all the way there only for cake

As a bride who values a nicer honeymoon over a big wedding and the costs of a reception I strongly suggest you look into party trays from your local Sam's or Costco. I do agree with the others that if you are having a wedding with out of town guests then a dessert bar would not be the way to go. Not selfish for wanting a nicer honeymoon but sadly you cannot have the big wedding and the nice honeymoon in the way you suggested. Have you already invited these people? If so, you could do a cheap reception like a pizza buffet or italian restaurant baked trays or american style BBQ burgers and fries. Research ways to cut back on the food as a lot of brides are doing that.

While there is no requirement for a wedding to have XYZ I don’t think that skipping a proper meal is the best idea.


If you don’t have the budget to do everything, I would consider your options such as having a cocktail style reception, delaying your honeymoon etc. When the budget is tight things come down to what you are and aren’t willing to compromise on. For me personally, I would not be happy about a rumbling tummy at a wedding (would probably leave early to go get food depending on the length of the wedding) let alone when it’s one I’ve had to actually travel for. In saying this, food is huge for me! We are having a 3 course meal (plated dessert + cake for the third course) and we are going to be supplying more food as well.
Perhaps the middle ground option that may allow you to do both is to have a wishing well. Some people on this site seem to have a real problem with them (I’m waiting for a few Negative Nancy’s to tell me it’s rude) but I think they’re fantastic and will fit your circumstances. Instead of directing those who want to give you a gift to a registry, anyone who would like to gift you something will instead make a monetary contribution to your honeymoon. This might mean that you can’t take your honeymoon straight after the wedding but I think it’s worth considering.

Heavy appetizers and dessert would be bare minimum. If you do minimum, please make I clear on invite. It wouldn’t stop me from coming but I’d know to eat before.

You'd have to have it at an off hour, and your out-of-town guests would have to know. Otherwise, if you have a reception at a meal time, you need to serve a meal.

That said, I wouldn't travel for a cake/punch reception.

You all are the very best! Thanks so much for investing your time to ease my mind! I appreciate and value all of your opinions.

I agree with the PPs. Serving a full meal is a necessity if you have a lot of guests traveling from out of town. Maybe you can create a Honeyfund or something similar? Or don't register and guests will get the hint and give you checks. My husband and I were very fortunate that we received enough checks from guests as wedding gifts to finance roughly 2/3 of our honeymoon costs

Honestly, I think you should treat your guests well and I would feed them. You can always book a honeymoon/trip down the road...that’s what we’re going to do.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this!!!

There's nothing wrong with wanting a nicer honeymoon, no one can blame you, but if you have a LOT of guests coming to your wedding out of town, you should feed them a good full meal.

Where were you planning to have your honeymoon? You could save a lot of money by using Airbnb when travelling, and by shortening the trip in general. Originally, fiance and I wanted to do our honeymoon in either Japan or Australia, but with COVID happening, we decided on going to plan a new trip in Washington DC. However, if DC also does not work out, than we'll probably just have our honeymoon somewhere in CA (the state we live in).

I went to a dessert and coffee wedding years ago that started after dinner time and it was loads of fun. (There was also a cash bar for anyone that wanted a drink and yes, we had more then one lol) We ended up going out to dinner before going and then danced the night away with the bride and groom.

I don't judge the couple on what they do or don't give me. They invited me to share their vows, eat some cake and dance and laugh. I was happy.

It is your day enjoy it

I'd feel bad about this too if my guests were traveling. Have you checked with local restaurants? I'm feeding 70 people for under $500.

I think you definitely need to serve more than desserts for guests especially since they are traveling. Have you considered doing passed hors d'oeuvres or appetizer style food? Another idea would be to add a honeymoon fund. I used The Knot to build my registry and was given the option to add a honeymoon fund so that instead of buying a gift people go donate to that.

Just as long as you do not stretch the wedding and reception across a mealtime, it is perfectly fine to do a desserts reception. Start at 1:30 pm and end at 5, or 7 to midnight, max. Make it clear in information cards: Have your meal before you come, but save room for dessert! Just cake won't keep people long. But things like streudel, or baklava, made by the tray, and several layer cakes or pies, Are no more expensive. Custard pie, or pumpkin which is another custard pie, or cheesecake, have enough real food value. Cooked fruit in pies or streudel, is also filling . Expect everyone to have 2-3 if they stay a few hours. If you can, choose a venue that allows you to purchase the liquor, with their bartender or yours. And make the featured drink regular or decaf or half caf coffee, with either a liqueur added, or a hard liquor. With big glass mugs, , inexpensive dishware rentals. Have others if you wish. Buy medium price liquor of whatever kind in 1.75 liter bottles on sale if you can. Serve beer of better quality. Doing your own is a huge savings if you want liquor, about one third to one quarter of the cost of a venue charge for drinks, figured after you pay your bartender or theirs. Just liquor mark up. You pay for venue waitstaff, or servers at a buffet. Never let people serve their own desserts, unless you want to supply five per person and have half platefuls abandoned. People go out to shows, benefits, balls, and parties all the time, whole evenings without a meal served to them. And have a great time.
Though receptions with meals are more common now than they used to be, and just a piece of cake and punch Is a half hour thing, a desserts reception with a nice assortment is good for hours of conversation and dancing. People can get themselves a light supper as they do for any other special event where they go out for coffee and desserts , or drinks and bar snacks with no real food. About 1/3 of those we go to are this type. Be sure to supply tables and chairs for all. Nothing clears a reception in 90 minutes like the asdumption people will perch on high stools at cocktail tables. And because you are serving something buffet style and easily portable, spend a little extra to have seats for 20% more guests than you have. People will move seats, then have long conversations. Then move elsewhere, new company. And people should not feel they get shut out of the conversations by taking last seats available. Or feeling their home seat has been taken if they get up to dance. It is a different dynamic that anchoring the reception with meal service. And quite enjoyable.