Your Fiance and Your Dress!

I'm a traditionalist in the sense that FH doesn't know much about my dress nor has he seen it - and he won't know much about it or see it until our wedding day.

It's figure hugging and pretty sexy though (albeit I am an F cup so the amount of cleavage I have naturally makes even non-sexy clothing a bit risque generally) so I suspect he will love it!

My FH has seen the dress (because I was sewing it for so long) He’s even seen me in iterations of the dress as I was working on it, in fact he’s seen all aspects of my look for the day, but he hasn’t seen all of them things together. So he’s still going to be surprised!

He knows I have picked it and it’s white 😂 he honestly doesn’t care as long as I’m the one walking down the aisle

I showed my FH the “outtakes” that I didn’t pick, so if he paid attention he has an idea of what style I picked. He will be surprised with the overall design though, it’s not something I even expected myself to love. Like your FH, he has a good feel for pieces of it based on my preferences (e.g. includes lace).

View Quoted Comment

Aww, so cute! I'm also traditional in the sense I don't want him to see it before the day, nor do I want him to see me on the day! But it was in our house for months and months, so if he really wanted, he could have looked. I know he wouldn't though. He wants to be surprised too.

View Quoted Comment

Aww, how wonderful and special you're making your dress! And I know what you mean - even if they did see you in the dress, as long as they didn't see you in the dress, the shoes, the underthings, the veil, the hair and makeup.... it's still not like seeing you for the first time on the day! Will you tell us more about the process of making your own dress? What does it look like and how have you found it? I've enjoyed watching a few youtube videos of people making their wedding dresses!

View Quoted Comment

LOL! My fiance did say he can't tell me more because he doesn't know enough about dresses, bless his heart! But he is 100% spot on with his guesses, so he obviously has taken in more of Say Yes to the Dress than he thinks, lol!

View Quoted Comment

Oooh that's fun! Mine were literal ends of the spectrum but I still did not show him any of the options, haha! And it's funny how you can end up picking something wildly different than you thought. I picked exactly what I thought I would pick, but had 2 main ideas which were wildly different - one was any silhouette, but VERY plain, very structured mikado silk. I was also open to some kind of very soft, tulle-y, romantic layered dress with 3D flowers, but I always knew I would be picky about the overall style, so I was pretty certain option 1 was going to win out. As it happened, I didn't find anything remotely as nice as the pictures on my pinterest board, so I went with the traditional mikado.

View Quoted Comment I’ve shared it in a few posts (but honestly I don’t think I’ll ever share it enough 😆) I used a used dress from goodwill for fabric and to learn the construction of wedding dresses and took the entire thing apart, added some new fabric to the mix, and put all of the things I knew I absolutely wanted in my dress.
these were all taken while I was still working on the dress (I don’t have any pictures of the actual final product but I’ll post wedding photos as soon as I get them back after the first!)
(I had to take it outside to get a proper look at the train because it was too long for any dog free rooms in my house😆)

My husband (eloped last year big celebration in 2 months 😍) doesn't know what it looks like, but he walked in on me working on my petticoat (I'm a seamstress) a few times which probably gave away the silhouette! I am going for really big ball gown like live action Cinderella big!

View Quoted Comment

Beautiful! You're going to look amazing! Thank you for sharing

View Quoted Comment

Yaaaaas! My totally not so secret favourite silhouette! My fiance did walk in when I was packing up the hoop that goes with my skirt - I'd screamed because there was a cockroach in the bag (damn sub tropical countries and their spiders and roaches!) and he helped shake it out.

I didn't tell him what he was shaking out, and he told me yesterday he doesn't know enough about dresses for that to have given anything away.

View Quoted Comment Ha! They can be so clueless! I make pretty large gowns that I wear to renaissance faires so he recognizes undergarments like that because he is always having to help me get into them! But it will still be a surprise no matter what!

View Quoted Comment

Of course it will! And to be honest, I think even if he did figure it out (which he might have) he might pretend he hadn't - he wants this moment to be special for us both, and wouldn't do anything to spoil that (a bit like those stories of dads who see the baby walk for the first time without mum being there and pretend they weren't, so as not to ruin things - super sweet!)

I've told him very little. He usually flips (in a good way) when he sees me in a new outfit/hairstyle, so we both really want that surprise on the big day. He doesn't even want to see the shoes I got even though I doubt he'll be seeing much of them at the wedding. I have told him it's not a big heavy dress, since I kinda want him to pick me up and carry me down the aisle 😆 But who knows if he'll do that.

I told my fiancé that my dress is not perfectly white and it’s flowy. Fast forward to a week ago when we were picking out suits and he was talking about picking a suit to go well with the blue in my dress? No idea where he got that from (it’s a grey color and ivory). He was correct though in guessing that it has no lace.

These are the discussion I made with photos of my dresses!

Ceremony Dress & Back of Reception Dress

Front of Reception Dress

FH doesn't know anything about either one, and doesn't even know I got 2 lol. He's not really interested in knowing any details, or wants to guess lol...fashion and clothes aren't really his thing. All he knows is that both have to be hemmed (I'm 4'11"), and that they have to be taken in since I've lost a little fat and gained muscle!

I will say that I've had to be very careful when talking about them to him because I've slipped up and referred to them in the plural form....I've had to tell him that I meant my wedding dress and the dress I got for my bachelorette are at my MOH's house lol....he bought that lie thank goodness!

I discussed silhouettes and certain styles while choosing a dress with my husband. He gave his input as to what silhouette he preferred and I went as far as to show him a few dresses I was considering so I could get an idea of what he likes. Meanwhile, e doesn’t know the exact dress that I chose. He wants to keep it a surprise, which I think is sweet!

He does not have any idea and he wants to keep it that way! I did show him one of the dresses I tried on and it's COMPLETELY different from what I actually chose, but I didn't tell him that. So he's going to be surprised by it all. The only thing he knows is that my jewelry will be sapphires because it's a sentimental thing between my mom and I and he knows my hair will be down.

Before I picked my dress, I would show my husband brief clips of wedding runway shows or photos on Instagram where there are like 5 models standing side by side in different wedding dresses and asked him what he thought. This really helped me a general sense of any opinions he had: for example he liked fit and flare silhouettes and didn't feel like ballgowns were very "me". When I picked out my dress I picked something I totally loved but kept his preferences in mind, which was actually really helpful when I was torn between different designs and trying to narrow things down.

I didn't tell him anything about my dress (except that the color was ivory and probably that it had a train and bustle, but I'm not 100% sure) and didn't ask him to guess any details because I have a horrible poker face and likely would have given something away if we were having much of a conversation about it. Once we were married, I did end up telling him I got a second dress for our wedding celebration. I had been debating back and forth and then tried on my first dress about a month before and realized it was a bit more snug and I needed a different dress for dancing. The only thing I told him about the second dress was that it was very different from my first and made of silk, and he knew I needed to have it altered considerably because I was nervous about having alterations done in such a short time frame.

Honestly one of the least favorite things about the wedding was keeping my dresses secret from him. I wanted them to be a surprise, but it was really hard not to share and not to get his opinion on them. I loved the dresses so much and just wanted to show them off. In particular, I was worried about the dresses being a little too sexy and really would have loved his opinion before his mom saw them for the first time, but fortunately he thought both were great and his mom and my mom loved them both as well. I'm really happy that from now on I never have to hide any outfits from him (at least not for such a long time) anymore!