Young kids & babies at wedding

I should also add that my FH's sister is getting married 6 weeks before us, and all of these kids/babies would be a factor for her wedding also (same family members). If she decides to invite all kids, maybe I could see how it goes and make the call then?

So I'm a strong believer of all kids or no kids, as I feel the drama starts when you start making arbitrary restrictions.


That said, I think only directly inviting immediate family kids is a fair compromise if you and your FH can't agree on all kids or no kids. I would advise against an age restriction.

I think it's all personal preference, but I think you have to go all or nothing. I think it might be tricky if you give an age limit so that in a family some siblings are invited, but some aren't. If you go with inviting the nieces and nephews, I would say just invite that one other kid if that's the only other kid in your family. For mine, we did nieces and nephews, but no other kids.

I would also suggest trying to shift your mindset. Whether you have kids there or not, something could happen during your ceremony. An ambulance could go by, a mic could stop working. It's just the type of situation where it might not go perfectly. You shouldn't let that ruin your experience. You should let all of that just roll off your back and focus on the person you love in front of you. You could always hire a videographer for the ceremony and have your vows taped if you want to make sure you take them all in. If you do go with babies, just let the parents know that if the baby starts crying, you'd like them to take it out of the room.

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Thanks Deirdre, this is a really eye opening perspective! Perhaps the officiant could make note of it when they say something about silencing cell phones. Also, now that I think about it , our ceremony will be outside which may help- it's not like every small sound will echo as it would in a small indoor room.

We invited all kids. Total it was only 10. Our friends didn’t bring kids which brought our kid total to 8 and one was a 10 month old. So the only kids there were family. Mom and baby didn’t come to the ceremony they joined dad at the reception.
The kids all had a blast! They played with each other and the glow sticks. They danced. I wouldn’t exclude them. Kids aren’t as horrible at wedding as people make them out to be. And the kids we had aren’t the best behaved.

I don’t think you can exclude the five month old without running into the situation of his mother quite possibly not attending - he could very well still be exclusively breastfeeding at that age and not able to be away from mom for any length of time. You could say no kids at all with the exception of breastfeeding infants.

We did invite kids (if we hadn’t, my brother and SIL probably wouldn’t have been able to attend, and my best friend who was one of my bridesmaid would have had a lot more difficulty) with the youngest being just under one, and they were all good. It’s entirely possible that one of them might have made some noise during the service but I was so focused on DH that I wouldn’t have noticed.

I look at it as 1 screaming kid or 10 screaming kids. Both would bother me. So if you have 1 you might as have more. I too agree with either none or all. At least if there are other kids they can make friends and spend time together.

You have a few options:
1) all kids
2) no kids
3) no kids except those in wedding party

Babies under 1 year are the exception to all rules above.

It sounds like I'm having a similar wedding as you, an elaborated cocktail party. I have a son (who will be 12 at the wedding), so clearly no kids isn't an option. However, I have been VERY clear that the only kids allowed will by him, my niece and nephew, and my fiance's niece. I don't want a bunch of kids at my wedding, for no other reason than I just don't want them. Honestly, my friends are all ok with that, and most are looking forward to a break from the kiddies! You just need to make a decision and be clear about it. However, keep in mind that no two kids are the same. Just because one was a perfect baby doesn't mean their sibling will be. And just because one kid is a hellion doesn't mean another will be. Unfortunately you never know, and most certainly can't bet on what will happen. My niece was a flower girl last year, and decided she didn't want to partake in the wedding until it was half over, and then walked down the isle spreading the petals. Point is, your wedding (or life) will not be ruined by any deviations from perfection. These

We did no kids but we had a few that were specifically invited - including my dance students. Folks who have kids and couldnT come did not. At the end of the day there was no crying fussy babies, no children running wild, no moms elsewhere missing everything because they had to step away with their kid, etc. at our wedding. I saw all that and more at other weddings we’ve been to and I do not regret our decision.

Weddings are really not for most children.

For my first wedding (25 years ago), there were several babies and young kids in the family. I paid a couple of babysitters to be in one room of the church with all of the little ones. Best $200 I spent that day. My ceremony was "scream- free".

No one cared that the babies were at the reception because it's a loud social event anyway.