Yay or nay performance for guests?

We are doing a choreographed dance BUT the last reason was for the guest. Although it is a plus for the, We have a son and wanted to use our dance classes as a date night. I also was a cheerleader and we both have anxiety. We are opting to do it for couples time and to help build confidence. We are having a blast and I would highly recommend. Now where the bridesmaids and groomsmen do a whole big performance ETC I do not agree with. This is a fun memory, bonding time, and great opportunity to get awesome photos( I love candids). We personally didn't like the awkward and anxiety inducing slow shuffle of a first dance. I think it should be up to you and your partner and if this is something you love and will have a lot of fun doing then awesome. If not, then opt out. Who cares what others think and honestly we should really get better about taking people off guest list who are not supportive and loving.

I agree with your “unpopular opinion”. The choreographed dances started out a novelty, but now they’ve been WAY overdone. Instead of a unique, unexpected bonus, they now seem really outdated and super cringy.

We didn’t do anything like that. Our first dance we danced in a circle for 3 minutes because we wanted to and we did so much with our guests in mind that we did what we wanted for our first dance and parent dance. 5 minutes of time where our guests can sit and wait while we have our moment

View Quoted Comment I love the emphasis on “our moment” - it makes the wedding more personable and gives the couple time to stay connected on such a big day. Thank you for sharing this with me.

View Quoted Comment Agreed 1000%! I already had to explain to three family members that were asking for planning purposes, but sounded disappointed when i said no that i plan to have lots of fun and dance all day, and i hope the guests will actively participate rather than sit, eat, and expect us to wow them with something extraordinary.

View Quoted Comment Love this! It s a moment for you and adding the little one makes it even more special. This gives me comfort not being the odd ball out here trying not to do a choreo “for the guests” , thank you!

I have never considered these things to be in very good taste TBH. It’s a wedding, not a stage show. I don’t know why couples seem to believe their wedding is the right time or place to show off their talents or outdo the next couple for the benefit of a captive audience.


I’ve never heard of anyone being judged for not doing something like this though. That’s absurd.

Social media has increased the popularity of these weddin party choreographed dances. In my opinion it’s overkill, and rarely does it look ok unless there are experienced dancers.

Social media implies that these dances are much more widespread than they actually are. In reality, unless they are part of your culture, they are not seen or done. Most people participating in choreography don’t have the talent required as a professional and they look awkward and out of place.

View Quoted Comment Preach my dear! And sometimes they look so tacky. Thank you for reassuring me.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Not a stage show- im sticking to not doing it and let things happen naturally.

Don't be shamed.... The two most cringey weddings we've attended (and we've attended a LOT) included "choreographed" dances.... Both were "performed" to full-length songs and seemed to go on FOREVER -- both became so uncomfortable to watch/sit through. It's hard to imagine any guest is ever thinking, "it was a great wedding except they didn't have enough choreographed dances."

I cringe at every performance I see online. I absolutely hate them. It’s never a good performance… super cheesy and uncoordinated.

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You and me both!