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Savvy May 2023

Wrong Bridesmaids Dress

Brooke_Frhlich, on February 14, 2023 at 3:49 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 22

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I am getting married in May 2023. We’re doing mismatched dresses in dusty blue/green tones. The women in our wedding (4 bridesmaids, 2 grooms maids) were told to get dresses in mismatched colors and given a photo of the 6 color swatches. I also said that if they found dresses in that scheme from other websites or stores, that would be fine! I don’t care too much about the dresses, just as long as there’s no exact color matches. I just found out that two of the girls, both of the grooms maids, ordered their dresses in the same color. One I am close friends with, and the other is my fiancé’s sister who is known to be a bit rude at times. How do I ask one of them to pick a different color? The one I am closer with has been communicating about her color process and has told me that the other colors REALLY didn’t look good on her coloring. My fiancé’s sister didn’t tell me when she bought her dress but I’ve found out both have already been purchased. His sister also isn’t as pale and has darker hair so the other colors would also look good on her. I wish they had communicated more on the colors they were picking, I feel like a bridezilla asking them to change. Help!

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22 Comments

Latest activity by CM, on February 19, 2023 at 4:12 PM

Super October 2023
Kelly · on February 14, 2023 at 3:57 PM
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I don't think it's fair to ask her to pick a different color, especially because she already bought the dress. It doesn't seem like you were coordinating with everyone and instead expected them to coordinate between themselves. Unless they bought the dresses in the same fabric from the same dye lot, the colors won't match exactly anyway.
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 4:01 PM
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All of the info was in a group chat so everyone could coordinate with each other and myself. The dresses are the same color/material/website so they’ll be an exact match
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Master October 2023
Cece · on February 14, 2023 at 4:22 PM
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Since the two dresses that are the same are both going to be standing on the groom’s side, I think it’ll look fine! I am assuming all the groomsmen will be wearing the same suit, so I think it will look intentional. To be honest, I think having mismatched dresses on the groom’s side, while all the groomsmen match, might look a little off.
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VIP October 2022
Taylor · on February 14, 2023 at 4:24 PM
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I agree with Kelly that I do think it’s unfair since the dresses have already been purchased. If you really wanted no exact color matches then you should’ve asked them to run it by you before purchasing. Unless you asked for that then they wouldn’t have checked. A group chat is great but unless I was told to post my dress in the chat before ordering so everything could see it I wouldn’t. And I’m not texting 5 other people and the bride about coordinating colors. If that was of such importance to you then you should’ve been more on top of it. Designated what color with what girl ahead of time. With 6 girls they were bound to have matched
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 4:35 PM
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Hi! I also have two bridesmen
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on February 14, 2023 at 4:40 PM
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Could you have a groomsman between the grooms maids for the processional/ standing at the altar? That would add some visual difference so you don't have the ladies in the same dress coming down the aisle after one another or standing next to each other. You could also mix up the group for pictures and have the two with the same dress at opposite ends of the lineup.
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Master October 2023
Michael · on February 14, 2023 at 4:49 PM
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The matching color on the groom's side should be fine. That should not detract from what you have on the bride's side. Let it be.
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 4:54 PM
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I have bridesmen on my side as well. I’m just not sure how it’ll look with matching on one side and mismatching on the other
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 4:57 PM
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I did ask them to coordinate and not pick the same colors. I also had 6 colors for 6 girls. It would still be unfair even if I offered to cover the cost of return shipping or the new dress if it’s non-returnable?
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 4:59 PM
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Hi! I think this’ll be my plan if both of them say that wouldn’t like to change colors
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 5:04 PM
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I know that in the long run it really won’t matter, and if I’d found out without enough time to do anything I wouldn’t give it a second thought. But because there is enough time to make the switch I’m wondering what the kindest way to do that is. I totally know it’s a preference thing and not a big deal, but I’d still like things to be how I prefer them if possible?
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Super October 2023
Kelly · on February 14, 2023 at 5:05 PM
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Oh that changes things. Maybe the bridesmaid could change the dress color on her order before it goes into production. You could have your fiance reach out to her, or do it yourself if you're comfortable. I'd say something like "I noticed you and X ordered the same color dress. I'd appreciate if you would see if you could change the dress color so you're not wearing the same color".
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Super May 2022
Erin · on February 14, 2023 at 5:14 PM
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Agree with Paige. I’d probably let this go and alternate the ladies and guys in the standing and processional order. Guests aren’t really going to notice anything. Your fiancé’s sister probably bought that color because she’s most comfortable in it.
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Super September 2023
Kimberly · on February 14, 2023 at 5:45 PM
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Yeah, it sounds like there was some confusion on their part then and they didn’t realize they all had to pick a different color. If it really matters to you, I would offer to just purchase the extra dress at this point. That way you can be a little more assertive in making the change since you’ll be the one paying for it. I also agree with the person who said to ask the company first if you can make the change. I ordered from one of the big bridesmaid companies (Kennedy Blue), and someone from their team reached out the next day telling me to let them know if there were any issues. Especially if your BM just ordered, you might still be able to make the swap.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 14, 2023 at 7:38 PM
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Sounds like there was a misunderstanding about each person needing one of the colours. I don't think it's fair to ask them to change the dress now, unfortunately. I agree with other opinions in that it'll be fine.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on February 14, 2023 at 9:12 PM
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It sounds like you should assigned a color to each girl rather than expecting them to communicate with each other what color they wanted to wear. At this point I think you need to let it go since the dresses have already been ordered.
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Savvy May 2023
Brooke_Frhlich · on February 14, 2023 at 9:23 PM
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I was attempting to have each person be able to pick the colors they liked the most, but it didn’t work as planned. Luckily it all worked out fine! Between our ladies and gentlemen, we have 10 people living in 8 states so coordinating everyone has been quite the task!
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Just Said Yes December 2022
Emily · on February 17, 2023 at 12:57 PM
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Don’t listen to anyone else. They are your bridesmaids and they should have understood the assignment. They failed, and I think it is absolutely within your right to have them change the color. You will never be able to forget that they are the same color no matter what human arrangement at the alter these others came up with. This is YOUR day. And coordination of the bridesmaids dresses is an obvious priority for any bride looking to get photos taken…. So every bride. Don’t let these ladies call you a bridezilla over a very SIMPLE task of creating a color coordinated moment.

Hasn’t anybody else considered that maybe BOTH would be embarrassed to show up in the same color anyways? Why would you want this to take away from your wedding. It’s like a hangnail. Put your foot down and request the switch! (Offering to cover the cost would be very kind, but IMO it’s their fault for just ~buying~ a dress without talking to the BRIDE)
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Savvy April 2023
Pamela · on February 17, 2023 at 1:24 PM
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I'm with Emily on this one. Its your day!!! There is always a way to say things in such a way that does not hurt any feelings. Mention you will pay for the cost to return and your sorry for any confusion or inconvenience (even though you made it clear).
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Beginner March 2023
Heather · on February 18, 2023 at 8:03 PM
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Don't worry about it so much... If you told them to pick their own dress and gave them a range of colors.. don't be offended if more than one person likes the same color.
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