Written vows or standard i Do’s

The same thing happened to me, and I would rather my fiancé be comfortable. It’s not easy to stand in front of everyone you know and say so many personal things. You could write letters and read them privately instead.

View Quoted Comment I think private letters are a good idea thank you!

We’ll be writing our own vows and reading them. Yeah FH isn’t good with public speaking,so I’m excited to see how this goes! I know this will be coming from his heart and that’s what matters to me. Happy Planning 🍷

A Practical Wedding and Offbeat Bride have some great steal-able examples (using them is encouraged on the site).

We were going to do standard and we were both fine with that but when I read the other ceremony examples, I ended up liking them so much more. I didn't really sit down and write anything from scratch but I took from several sites and mushed them together. To be honest, I ended up creating more of the welcome to my liking than the actual vows! The vows I kept even simpler than tradition after seeing this great sitcom episode where the couple gave themselves these extremely romantic emotional vows...that were impossible to live up to in a real relationship!

There's a lot of stuff out there so it might be worth it to browse and see if you fall in love with anything!

Both. We’re doing traditional vows in addition to our own personal vows.

View Quoted Comment Oooo! That’s a good idea too!

FH and I are thinking about doing the standard I dos, but writing out our own vows to exchange privately (likely as letters) to keep it personal

I think the traditional vows at the ceremony and then private personal ones would be good. I know that I would not be comfortable saying personal love stuff like that in front of other people.

We did private letters and did standard vows!

You could write your vows together. This is what my fiancé and I will be doing. We want to write our own vows but see no reason to keep them secret from each other. We’re building a relationship together, so we want to design the text of our commitment to each other together.

He’s also got ADHD and I’m high-functioning autistic so we considered the very real probability that he might totally forget or either of us might leave out something really important if we wrote them separately. Besides, we’re on each other’s team, there’s no reason we can’t do this as a team, and while we don’t want to just use standard vows we do want the ceremony to feel coordinated. We’re also both creative people and songwriters, so this is just what’s right for us.

My FH has only ever gone to one wedding, and that was last November, so he's never really heard anything other than standard and doesn't really know what vows are or what's supposed to go in them. We'll probably end up doing private personal letters and standard I dos.

Me and fioncè are both not comfortable talking in front of people, I am extremely emotional, and I know if we would do our own vows I would be a mess lol. We will just gave each other cards and a small gift before the ceremony. Our officiant gave us some examples of I do's and they are just so beautiful, of course I cried when I read some, but we will just pick something from that. Makes it easier for both of us

My so said he wanted to do person but I don't think he will because he works like 90 hours a week so I wrote our ceremony so the vows are personalized and it was no pressure if he doesn't have time

View Quoted Comment Well I mostly wrote it but I view it as something we did together. I just controlled tthe pen lol

I suggest you do it together if you're worried then you can add the letters if you want something from him alone without your help/knowledge of cintents

We wrote ours together. I really wanted to write our own vows and he was so nervous about it. That was our compromise. We sat down and wrote them together. It worked out wonderfully.