Writing your vows

If he really feels like it would be too much to write personal vows and reading them in front of guests, how about compromising and writing letters to each other to read before the wedding that would be your personal vows to each other and then using the traditional vows for the wedding? ☺️

I want to do personally written vows, but he thinks they’ll be uneven and one persons (he means me) will be better than the others! I think he can do it and I’m hoping I’ll get him to budge. Either way you’ll be nervous, so no matter what you’re saying I think you’ll have that obstacle, but at lease handwritten vows you can read from a paper!

View Quoted Comment I agree with all this!

I wanted to write vows and my fiancé is too nervous, so I’m going to suggest writing private letters to read before or after the wedding

We did personalized self written vows and they were amazing!! We also both wrote similar vows without knowing it, and I am so excited to hang them on my wall once I get them printed up nicely! Hubby was hesitant at first, but I insisted because I felt like they would mean more to us personally doing it that way.

I also want to do personally written vows in a letter. We talked about writing our own vows for the ceremony and FH said that the things he'd say in those vows are things he'd rather say to just me, not everyone at our wedding. I think the letters before the ceremony will tell each other all we need to know and we can enjoy a typical ceremony without pushing either one of our nerves over the edge and feeling uncomfortable sharing our most intimate thoughts.

My fiance wanted to do vows originally and I'm SO shy so I reluctantly agreed since he hasnt really asked for much during the planning process. He is now second guessing because he thinks itll be too emotional to get through. Yesterday I wrote mine just to have something just in case and it made me want to power through and read it to everyone! I did suggest doing letters to each other to read privately the morning of so that is an option too.

View Quoted Comment I love this idea! I completely understand that he will be nervous so I don’t want to over step or make him super uncomfortable during the ceremony so a letter to each other is a great idea 😊

I wrote my own !

We’re planning on writing our own, I’m pretty emotional so I know i’ll Be crying just hope I can hold it together to get through them. My FH found a video on YouTube on vows by an officiant that had some good suggestions

Lots of couples save their personal vows for private notes to one another on the wedding day; especially if they'll be apart.

I was at a wedding where the couple were about to start their vows and there was a convenient "technical malfunction" with the microphone. The only people who could hear them were the couple, the officiant, and I think maybe the MOH and best man.

I’m writing my own as well. FH want to do traditional vows which is fine with me. I’m not picky. We’re also having our vows interpreted via sign language. So unfortunately we both can’t get nervous saying them.

A good compromise might be to personalize the traditional "repeat after me" vows. You could work together to write something that is meaningful to you as a couple, without worrying about getting nervous/emotional while reading your vows.

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea as well 😊 we could do that and write a letter to each other to read before we walk down or sometime during getting ready.

We each wrote our valves on paper and gave them to our officiant to hold until we were ready to read them. We both definitely struggle to get through them without crying but I think that is what made it so personal and so heartfelt and our guests are still talking about it

We wrote our own, but my husband and I both knew that was something we wanted to do years ago. I always said I'd have someone read both of them beforehand, to make sure they were the same length and quality, but we didn't. Neither one of us practiced them out loud, and we both did fine. If he is super against it, I wouldn't push him too much. Maybe do as PPs mentioned, and write your own to just share between the two of you, and read traditional ones during the wedding? Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!

My fiance wants to write vows, and I wanted to do private letters. Now he's making a big fuss about it. Meanwhile, he has terrible dyslexia and has procrastinated even the 3 things I gave him to do.....I dont even understand why he wants to do it.

So i agreed to do it and now he's backing out because I finished mine. He said I finished early to make him feel bad on purpose. No honey! Just have a wedding to keep planning! Lol!

We are saying our vows to one another, no microphone during that part.