Writing “spouse” on rsvp card

I made FH find out the name of all his guest's spouses and children because I wanted the envelopes and RSVPs to be made out specifically. I told him if he didn't get them to me by a certain deadline, then they wouldn't be invited. It worked.

Can his mother or someone else give you their names?

It seems really odd that someone that you are close to, enough to invite them to your wedding, but you don't know their names.

I would check back with FH if it is a priority to invite these people.

Writing "and spouse" seems rude and impersonal. I would almost consider writing Mr. and Mrs. LastName anyway, I feel like that is a lesser faux pas.

You should 100% invite spouses by name. I'd be super offended if my H was invited to a wedding with and "& spouse". Just get the names yourself if you can't rely on him (which seems ridiculous, tell him to step up and get them!!!)

Hard pass. This screams “I don’t care enough FH about you to learn your name but I still want you to come so you bring me a present” — in are that’s not actually your intention but it is absolutely how it comes across. The nameline on RSVPs is for people to tell you exactly who is coming, and you can do seating chart/escort cards accordingly. Especially helpful in a case where one partner of a couple can come and the other can’t (prefilled, how are you sure who is coming and who’s not?). If you’ve prefilled it as “spouse” they’re not likely to refill out the line. So, you continue to not know these peoples’ names. Do you write “&spouse” for the seating chart too? It comes off as rude. Find out the names of your guests. At the very least don’t fill in the names on the card so they could write them in themselves and inform you.

You need to get their names. Call them, email them, Facebook message them... anything. If they have social media or LinkedIn profiles see if you can find their names there. Do anything you can to avoid "spouse". I must admit it seems really impersonal.

UGH not being able to edit
**in are that’s not actually your intention
should say IM SURE that’s not actually your intention 😂

First, I would try harder to get these people's names. After that, I would write something like Mrs. Jane Smith and Spouse for what you are asking about. In addition, I'd still add __/__ seats are reserved...as an extra hint.

You definitely need to get their names for all the reasons already mentioned.

I admit I finally "and guest" several of FH's married friends. As hard as I tried, FH didn't care enough to get them, and invitations had to go out.

Getting names and addresses from my FH was like pulling teeth but I did it. A lot of his military friends got girlfriends after we sent STDs out. I said I need the SO's first and last names because they are being invited by name. If they break up, not my problem. This ensures they can't bring someone else random. I would really tell him you need everything. The names first and last. I used the whole "they aren't getting an invite if I don't have the info by this day".

There were two couples at my first wedding from now ex-husband's work. We addressed them to "Mrs & Mr Jane Doe"