Writing our own vows then having the pastor read them? Thoughts?

You are going to be so emotionally overwhelmed at that moment that any more than three words are going to be a challenge, trust me. And many of my couples end up looking at me instead of their partner.

What I do is to type the vows out and put them on pretty cards (as opposed to a rumpled piece of paper) or in an antique book or journal. Works out fine.

Celia is correct. Couples barely remember their own names when standing in front of everyone.

I usually give them 4-5 words at a time in a low voice so guests hear just the couple. In the traditional vows the breaks for repeating are in very logical spots: I, James, take you, Sara / as my beloved wife / to have and to hold / etc.

If they want to read their own vows, I print them double-spaced in the largest font size possible while still remaining on half of a sheet of paper. If you have practiced your vows, you won't have to read word-by-word from the paper and will be able to frequently look at your FI.

I went to a wedding that was outdoors with no microphone. Because of the location (a rocky beach shore), it was impossible to hear the the bride, groom, or officiant unless they legit shouted. They "solved" this problem by having the officiant do pretty much all the speaking/shouting, which she managed to do pretty well while still sounding expressive.

The bride and groom had written their own vows, so the officiant would read a line and have them repeat it (first the groom did his vows, then the bride did hers). It was really irritating. First of all, their beautiful from-the-heart vows sounded really fake coming from the officiant, no matter how hard she tried to sound sincere. Second of all, it was really disappointing to show up for the wedding and not really hear the bride or groom SAY anything.

Even if you're having a microphone, or it'll be easy for everyone to hear you, it's going to sound really strange having your officiant say the personal things you wanted to say to each other.

Thanks for your thoughts..hm. I am still working in talking the venue manager into letting us have a mic for the ceremony . We are getting married in a state park that has a "no amplification" rule, but I am hoping to convince him that our voices for 15 minutes will not cause a state emergency for the campers down the river

I think w are going to write them, all Lott best to memorize them so we can look at each other, and just have notes for back up

I think you should say them..Has so much more effect and meaning that way

Ha...sorry about the typos in my previous message...I was answering on my phone while walking to get lunch