Write adults only on the invite?

I may be the unpopular opinion here but I am putting "Adult Only Ceremony and Reception to Follow" on the invitation. My family don't have kids yet but FH family is always looking for a loophole. They would ignore the website. Edited for clarity.

A LOT of people didn't read our website, so I'd put it there but it's not something that belongs on the *invitation*, IMO, but you can add extra info on the insert that has the directions for the reception, for example. [FYI, this posted right after Kristina's appeared - I'm not commenting on anyone else's decision!]

I'd consider on the insert with more information to say something like:

"Please join us for dinner and dancing immediately afterwards at [insert venue]. For those requiring childcare for minor children during the wedding or reception, our hotel staff is happy to assist you."

But of course, that leaves open the question of teenagers, which should be handled by word of mouth, as well as on your website that you can refer people to, where you can put more information that "We love you, and we love your children, but unfortunately we will not be able to accommodate young children or teens at the wedding or reception. For those needing childcare for the wedding and reception, please contact our hotel staff front desk, which will be happy to assist you with local options."

I have it on the website, but I also included a slip of paper in those invitations that have children that 2 seats are reserved in their name. But, it doesn't matter what you do, stupid people happen.

@Rebecca I like the idea of putting it on the reception card!

That's a good question ! I was thinking of putting it on our website which is where our guests HAVE to rsvp at

I would just address the cards to mr. and mrs. I think that would be pretty self explanitory and that way you can handle it on a personal level? If you have a lot of people with families I could see where that might get tedious.

I like Rebecca's idea of putting it on the website!

I find a lot of people have been looking at our website actually so it can't hurt to put there it all the same.

My reception is at a different venue so we are adding a separate card with that info that says "please join us following the ceremony for an adults only reception at ______" or something along those lines

I put this on our invite and wedding website: "In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off". People are still inquiring whether or not their children may come!!! Good luck!!! Oh, I have also had my sisters and mother spread it through word of mouth... I guess my guests think I will change my mind. NO!

Depends on your invitees. I know with my family I needed it to be as straight forward as possible. I didn't have a website, and my invitations only included the invite and RSVP. I put it on the last line on the invitation: Reception to follow, Adults Only Please. I don't give a shit what the etiquette police think. I know my family and it would have been a nightmare had I not made it clear. I only had 2 family members bitch about it, not to me though. One distant cousin who lives out of state wanted to be able to bring her very ill behaved child so she could also take him to Disneyland. Um, NO.

The other wanted to know if her young teenagers were considered adults. Um, NO.

It's not that I hate kids, in fact I LOVE most of them. It literally would have doubled our guest list, and unfortunately you can't pick and choose which kids can come without everyone freaking out. There will only be 4 kids, and they are in the wedding. That was my loophole.

We put it on our website and addressed the StDs and invitations, to the adults who were invited. Our parents took care of informing the aunts/uncles that cousins under 18 were not invited. (The other ones were all 21 and up, so there was no gray area and no families were split).

My father had to deal with the aunt/uncle who think the entire world revolves around their kids. He e-mailed them the information from our StD, on a powerpoint slide, and we actually put "Adult guests 21 and over" on it. They were the only ones who needed something that obvious, for it to get through to them. P.S. They boycotted - no surprise!

From what I've read, it wouldn't matter if they opened the invitation and a recorded message told them that the wedding was adult only -- they're still going to ask if they can bring their kids. I can't believe people actually do it, but apparently they do -- in droves. I used to believe that "Adult Reception" didn't belong on an invitation, but since people cannot or will not accept "2 seats have been reserved in your honor", I'm beginning to change my mind.

Technically, you shouldn't put it on the invite, but I have seen it on invites and I really didn't bat an eye at it. Personal preference. I just put mine on the website and very specifically addresses my invitations and put how many seats were reserved on the rsvp. We will see...

Depending on your invitees. We have a message on the website about it, Adult reception immediately following ceremony is on our invites and adult only reception is on the reception card. I have a very big family and know that if I didn't do it this way someone in my family would think they are the exception. There are some members that are pissed buy I think 8 weeks is enough time to find a baby sitter.

IMO I don't see a problem with it, the more it's noted places the better defense you have when guests attempt to bring their children and act that they had no idea it was adults only.

We wrote on our invitations that due to space we had to limit children to family only. Believe you me I would not have my kids there if it wasn't my wedding. I really don't like parents who don't watch their kids and to avoid problems I just limited it. My friends understand. My youngest is six, and his dad will be there so I don't have to worry about watching him. I also put it on my website and will have it on RSVP cards. There are a few that I didn't invite because I thought they wouldn't understand, but they do.

I had it on my invites. My family is huge and I needed to be direct. It may pretty self explanatory if I addressed it to the couple or the adult but common sense ins't always common.

I'm in the "leave it off" crowd. I think it's odd to specifically imply on an invitation who is NOT invited (i.e. children). I figure the people who are going to try to bring their children will anyway regardless of that phrasing.

I'm doing the just addressing it to Mr. and Mrs. and dealing with the kids thing on a personal level. It's as simple as someone's name not being on the invitation. I was invited to an old high school friend's wedding last year and the invitation was only addressed to me. I didn't even ask if my boyfriend could come with me since I figured they were probably trying to be frugal and he had never met her, nor did she know he even existed. It's your wedding and you should be forced to have people there you don't want (children) or don't need (people you don't really know). Not to say you can't accommodate people if you like, just remember that this day is for you. Also, no matter what you do, there are going to be people who don't follow the "rules".

We're doing adults only, which I'm sure will piss off a few of my family members. However, since I'm getting married on a holiday weekend and my mother is throwing a MD picnic the day afterwards for any and all the wedding guests, we are going to insert a separate card for families with children letting them know that kids are allowed to come to that.