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Just Said Yes July 2020

Would you regret a wedding without a lot of family?

Jessica, on January 20, 2020 at 12:47 AM Posted in Planning 0 5

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Hello all!!
I’ve been with my SO for 7 years, we have a son together and now that I’m finally done with college we have decided to plan our wedding. So here is the dilemma.. I live in WA state, 3,300 miles away from ALL our family in NY/NJ.

I was set on having a wedding out here in WA, inviting all my local friends and having a laid back, dancing into the night party. My immediate family will come, but I just found out that my BFF of 15 years is pregnant and won’t be able to fly out. And even with that, I feel guilty that my immediate family will have to shell out $$ to fly out. But then again I’ve been living here for 6 years and they have yet to come visit in the summer when it is GORGEOUS.
So now I’m wondering if I should fly back home. In order to get a venue that I love I would have to pay more and sacrifice an evening party. But, I would have my BFF as my bridesmaid and my extended family and old friends would all be able to come. I don’t think any of my new WA friends would fly out. But.. I feel like it would be a bit more stress and it would feel like it’s mostly a family affair.
In either location, I would have a party to celebrate after. Only 1 ceremony though because I feel like that would be a bit extra. Would I regret having it far from old friends and family? Or would it be better to have a smaller and possibly less stressful wedding out near me.
So torn!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Kathryn, on January 20, 2020 at 7:24 AM

Dedicated January 2022
Samantha · on January 20, 2020 at 1:06 AM
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That's definitely a tough one. I mean family is everything but of you haven't seen the majority on 6 years that's a long time. I would suggest if your immediate family can't make it to WA then you guys have to go home but if they can make it...that's all you need. And your bff may be too far along to even make it to a NJ/NY wedding of she's the only reason you'd go home anyhow (saying that if your immediate family would be there regardless).
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 20, 2020 at 1:33 AM
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What about an intimate wedding with immediate family only in WA, then a reception back home? You can wear your wedding attire but it can be any type of reception: brunch at a nice venue, a cake & punch reception at a church/temple or community hall, or casual appetizers & drinks at a bar with a band—whatever works for your budget and type of guests!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 20, 2020 at 1:35 AM
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Forgot to mention, we had a DW. When we realized the costs for us & guests (even though it was the same state), we decided to have a micro-wedding in our dream venue & location, then host an evening reception back home for friends. Loved having two events!
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Dedicated April 2020
Krista · on January 20, 2020 at 5:05 AM
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Something my fiancé says all the time when I get stressed or worried about wedding details is to do what makes you happy and don’t bed over backwards for other people (especially for people who don’t put that effort/energy back towards you). Our wedding is where we live now because it is easy and convenient for us! Our wedding in is the place that we have made our home together! I am getting married far from family too (the closest is a 6 hour drive and others much much further) and I sorta love it! All the drama filled flaky family that can’t bother to do any other that isn’t for them has a great excuse not to come and those that can and want to get to celebrate and party! They are coming such a long ways I’m sure they are going to have fun regardless! The point is do what is best for you and don’t worry about other people!
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on January 20, 2020 at 7:24 AM
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My dad once told me that people actively seek reasons to skip work lol. Idk - we're in similar situations because I'm about four hours away from my hometown. So I feel guilty for making a lot of people trek to us, but my FH pointed out that it's one of the few reasons people really will travel. The other thing about having the wedding away from you is ease of planning - you won't be able to easily go to a bakery after work or have a quick meeting with the florist. So really, it's up to you guys. I think it would be less stress to do it local.
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