Would it be too rude to ask about a bridal shower?

Yeah, you don't ask something like that. If they're gonna throw something, hopefully they'd let you know with plenty of time to travel.

I dont think it's too rude to ask that, but since you are concerned; are you semi close with her fmil? Maybe you could ask her, but say something like "hey! I was thinking that having a shower for *daughter name* would be easier out there since that's where she is living. Do you know if anyone is planning anything? If not would you help me to plan one for her?" And then you and fmil plan it together. Since you're offering to help it isn't rude at all.

You could also surprise your daughter this way by showing up unexpected! That would be sweet, but extra work.

So this is the same situation my mom is in. I believe she plans on asking my moh. She will help pay and throw it, but would like to do it at her mom's house. I don't know the details, but maybe you could do something like that?

Personally, unless you’re willing to help cover the costs of said shower, I would say skip asking. It can come off rude, especially since you could be hosting the shower yourself, rather than expecting someone else to.

Is there a reason why you think you, as her mom, wouldn’t be invited?

I'm wondering if I would be invited since I live several states away, I've had a back surgery, and our other son is being treated for cancer. Maybe they would think I couldn't come? But I would like to go anyway.

I don't thinking rude to ask. Just mention that you are looking to plan any travel needed foe next year and if anyone is planning to throw a shower, you would want to attend.

I don't think just asking would be rude "Hey, I was just wondering if anything is in the works and if I could help?" seems pretty innocuous to me

There's no way that they wouldn't invite you regardless of you being able to attend or not. Maybe talk to her Fiance. If his side of the family is planning something he probably knows. I don't think is rude if the time seems right, like if you would have expected for an invitation to arrive by now. When is the wedding? The shower is often 4 to 8 weeks before.

I like Chelsea and Orchid's advice. Ask in a way that includes you in the planning process.

I think it's nice that your so concerned with this. I must say, I'm felling a little bummed that no one has stepped forward and offered to throw one for us, and we're in a similar situation plus all of my bridal party lives out of state...

Can you ask FSIL if he knows if anyone is planning a shower? I would think any friends or family would let him know of planning one.

Are you hosting a shower? Maybe you could be like "hey, I'm looking at xxxx dates for hosting my daughter's shower". I don't want to overlap with you all if you're planning to host something. I hope you'll be able to come!

I'd approach her friends to see if they could host and you could help as well and contribute financially. It is actually poor etiquette for families to host showers.

I'd also see if your daughter actually wants a shower first

My Future MIL put on a bridal shower for me on Thanksgiving with my fiance's family. It was a surprise yet so lovely.

Don't ask. If someone throws her a shower they will of course ask if you would like to attend.

It's rude to ask. You might could say some thing a long the lines of, "hey I would love to help out if someone is throwing a shower." But still, it may come across as rude.