Would i Be Out of Line

I believe it would be out of line. Its her body so I think it would be rude if you told her not to do what she wants with her body. To me it’s similar to a bride telling a bridesmaid she can’t dye her hair a specific color.

I think it would be too. I’m also sure she’s kind of aware of her tan lines

I’m still mad my cousin asked me to cut my hair 6 years ago for her wedding because of an ombré hairstyle I did. I wish I had told her no! Long story short: yes, it’s out of line. She more than likely recognizes them and will hopefully do something to cover them but if she doesn’t, she doesn’t.

Yeah definitely would not go there!

I’m going to be the person who goes against everyone else here- I don’t think it’s out of line if you approach it correctly and under certain circumstances. If you’re having a low budget backyard wedding, I think you should let it slide. If you’re having a large/ expensive wedding and are paying a chunk of money for a photographer, I think it’s acceptable to mention something to her as those tan lines will be permanently in your **expensive** wedding pictures, and will be the first thing your eyes go to when you look at otherwise flawless and beautiful images. When someone accepts a bridesmaid position, they know the bride might have certain requirements/ expectations. That being said, you need to mention it in the nicest way possible. Maybe something along the lines of, “hey, you know I think you’re always gorgeous and I love you, which is why you’re in my wedding. I noticed sometimes you get tan lines when you tan, would it be possible if the week of the wedding you tan with a strapless bathing suit so there’s not really deep tan lines in the photos? I’m going to avoid tan lines the week of, too!!” Just something that sounds really nonchalant and friendly. You don’t have to be a dictator and demand anything. A gentle suggestion will get the point across.

Lol Well I personally wouldn’t say anything. But depending on how close you are to this person and depending on your personality, I would just turn it into a joke I’d be like dude what the hell is up with those Tan lines?! And then Id say what did you forget to take your bra off in the tanning booth again, and then I’d put some SPF in her bridesmaid gift. Again, this is just what I would say to my bridesmaids because that’s how we talk to each other. I wouldn’t recommend this tone though if you’re not super open with each other.

I honestly don’t think it would be out of line. It’s all about how you approach the conversation and your delivery. Why not just make a general request to all your bridesmaids and ask if they will be out in the sun (i.e beach day) right before the wedding to try and avoid tan lines this way she may not feel like you are singling her out.

I think it's okay to ask her to avoid tan lines. If she's aware of them, how you go about it probably depends on how she usually feels about them. If she thinks they're annoying, just point out that there are going to be a lot of pictures taken at your wedding, so she should try to wear things that match the neckline of the dress she'll be wearing. If she's not usually bothered by her tan lines, you'll need to be more direct. My mom still kind of rolls her eyes when looking at certain things in her wedding photos (which are from the 80's), and one of those things is her MOH's tan lines.

I mean you could, but you would have to tell it to everyone. Like in a group chat. “Hey y’all, if you are going tanning before the wedding watch out for tan lines with your dress neckline and/or straps.”

I don't think it is really out of line, unless she loves showing off her tan lines. You don't have to demand her to do anything, but you could tell her to be mindful of tan lines because of the cut of the dress. If you don't want to single her out, you could just send out a general message to your BMs as a whole to be mindful of tan lines. Good chance that she'll realize this, and will try to avoid having tan lines anyway. You could suggest that she get a spray tan if she has tan lines before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I like this idea. It gets the info out there, without pinpointing a single bridesmaid. Plus it’s something good to share with all BMs anyway, since it’s a concern of yours.

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I think this is the ONLY acceptable way to do this. Otherwise, you are singling her out for her appearance, which is ... rude.

As for her invitation, clearly she is trying to be nice, but if you don't like tanning, don't do it. I, too, am *super* pale, but I've embraced it, and I don't even try to tan. It's horrifically terrible for your skin, anyway. I just wore an ivory/champagne dress, and tailored my makeup to my paleness.

I mean if that's what she does then ill leave her. It would be a bit much

Yeah I wouldn’t say anything about it. If she has the dress she knows what areas of skin will shown so I’m sure she’ll be tanning to that. If not no biggie, people will be looking at you not her.

Yes I wouldnt say that. You can try to be subtle about it and go for spray tans and try to cover them. But coming right out and insulting a bridesmaid’s appearance probably wont end well

Yes, you would be out of line. Because it is your wedding day, you have a complete right to do whatever you want with your body. With inanimate objects, your setting, decorations, menu. But it does not give you any rights to dictate anything about anyone else's body. Not hair cut, style, color, not makeup, not manicure, not skin tone, not tattoos, not facial hair, not personal jewelry. Only the clothes ( ceremonial clothes) of your wedding party. And not even clothes of guests or family members. You set the formality of the event, and the season, and choose dresses or suits if you want, for the wedding party. Nothing else. These are not models or actresses paid to project an image you choose , for the movie or picture album you are making of your wedding. They are real people, your much liked or loved friends and family . Adults who control their own bodies, their own physical appearance. Suggesting that they do not meet some standard of yours is beyond disrespectful. It is considered rude.

I say, say nothing at all. Thats how she's feels comfortable and you don't want to sweat yhe small stuff. It may make her upset and feel self conscious. Let it go.

I dont think its out of line. u could suggest it in a joking manner and she says she refuses to change then youre stuck with it. Maybe she can use some self tanner to cover the lines