Worst wedding party ever

I have been reading countless posts on worst wedding/bridal parties and I still haven't found a situation worse than mine. I thought, "If I could find someone who had something worse happen with them, I will feel slightly better." nope. not at all. Where do I even begin.... just a heads up this is quite a long post. I just need to vent.
I got engaged December 2017. We announced the date of our wedding on new years. Our wedding date is 11/15/2018. It is on a thursday. Something we learned is that venues give a certain percent off for weekday weddings. For example, the venue we picked was only 1300 for our Thursday wedding compared to the weekend rate of rel="nofollow" **** depending on the day. This was a blessing to us because we are both in college working full time so this would save us money. We paid/ are paying for everything completely by ourselves. Because of our thursday wedding, it was about $500 cheaper to fly out for our honeymoon friday morning rather than on the weekend. We were saving a lot of money. We did realize that a Thursday was an odd day to have a wedding, but it wasn't unheard of. Either way, we let all of our friends and family know almost a year prior and even offered accommodations, travel assistance, etc and urged everyone to request off of work. I am from Arkansas, my fiance is from Houston. We live in Austin. Majority of his family are all in between San Antonio-Austin-Houston. My family is in Arkansas.
I must start off by saying that I am African American and my fiance is Mexican. This is where most of the issues began. I had family members tell me they were not coming because they did not support "mixing races." I started off with 8 bridesmaids and a maid of honor. I now have 4 bridesmaids, none of the original 9 girls. 3 of them all said similar things as my family despite knowing the fact that my fiance and I are an interracial couple. One of the three said that she did not support because it went against her Christian values and she "tried her best to overlook our sin." The other two did not say they didn't support, but they made flat out racist comments about my fiance. Around Feb., one of the other girls stated that she did not have the time or energy to come to my wedding. When trying to get answers out of her she said she did not care whether or not she saw me get married. She had been one of my best friends for over 12 years. Three of the girls were younger friends of mines through work. I enjoyed hanging out with them and they practically begged to be apart of the wedding. Around May or June, they all got into a disagreement over something that happened at work ( I was not apart of this in any way at all) Naturally, with me being their superior, they brought the issue to me and I told them my professional opinion of it and I also told them that as friends we should not let disagreements at work get between us. Instead however they all blocked each other and wanted me to side with them. They began telling me how I had favorites etc just typical work drama which eventually led to me dismissing all three of them. I now had a maid of honor and one bridesmaid. My maid of honor had a baby over the summer with a guy she didn't really want to be with. Because of that, I pretty much planned when and where the bachelorette party would be by myself. I ended up choosing Dallas because the other bridesmaid goes to college in central Arkansas. The new semester started and I began to reconnect with old friends. I invited them to come to the bachelorette. The more the merrier right? I want to also point out that I decided not to have any pre wedding events besides the bachelor/bachelorette parties because I did not want to ask to much from everyone. I did have an engagement party, but my fiance and I paid for all of that by ourselves... we threw ourselves our own party.
The very last bridesmaid, told me she would not be able to be apart of the wedding in Sept. I was devastated but understanding. She said that she did not have the time to come to Austin because she is in her senior year of college... but it did not make since to me. She had already been in Texas twice this year for Anime conventions and several other times, and was planning to go to come again in october and and another in December. I did not bring this up to her and just left things as is. I broke down to my old friends and all of them were shocked about everything that had happened with my bridesmaids and shocked that I wasn't even having a bridal shower at the least. That is how I gained my now 4 bridesmaids. All of these girls were the same girls I had invited to the bachelorette so I thought things would work out. I had also invited 2 other close friends. So for my bachelorette party, it was supposed to be me, 4 bridesmaids, 2 friends, maid of honor, and the last bridesmaid that had backed out but was still planning to come to bachelorette. They made a group chat and everyone told me that they were planning things for the party. I was happy. I thought things were finally going right. 3 weeks before the wedding, one of the bridesmaids told me she could not go due to financial issues and I understood that, no problem. Fast forward to the week of the party, the two friends told me they would not be able to come (never texted me back when I asked why.) One of them said her dog sitter cancelled on her last minute. I had been repeatedly asking my m.o.h if she was sure she could come (due to her having a small baby) and each time she told me yes. She even got mad at me once for constantly asking. Turns out, she tells me she would not be able to go. So I was now down to 2 bridesmaids and the ex bridesmaid. Ex bridesmaid tells me that in the group chat, that literally nothing had been planned. This was literally two days before we were supposed to go to Dallas. I shutdown. I literally broke down. I did not understand why I wasn't having any of the happy prewedding moments with my bridal party. I was still at work so I ended up shutting off my phone for the next hour until I was off. When I turned my phone back on, I had 2 voicemails, a missed fb call and several text messages from ex bridesmaid. I thought that maybe she was asking if I was okay but nope. She was blowing my phone up telling me she was not coming since no one else was and since nothing was really planned. She then stated how all of this was a huge inconvenience for her. I tried to understand her but I just couldn't. She makes several leisure trips. At least once a month. Why was me asking her to come to TX twice too much for her when she comes down here more than 6x a year? I am a passive person and I do not like arguing. I tried to reason with her. But she told me that this was all pointless (which i guess it was) and that it " don't matter to her if she comes down or not" because she has "more important things to do." This girl had also been my best friend of about 7 years. I asked her "What do you mean by more important things? You already aren't coming the wedding, you can't even come have fun with me in Dallas?" She said " no idc tbh" I have not spoke to her since. I called my other two bridesmaids (they are a couple) and told them what happened. I was just devastated. I had already paid for our Airbnb all by myself. It was about 300 for the whole weekend. All the way in Dallas. The only reason to go to Dallas was for the ex bridesmaid. My last two girls told me that we could still go and that we would all still have fun. So we went. I did not want to waste my money because it was too late to get a refund.
We went to Dallas really late. Arrived at about 11pm. The next day we went shopping, got pizza, then went home to get ready. I thought I'd at least be able to drink and party. Wrong. We went and had dinner at the mall. I paid for myself which wasn't an issue. Once it was time to go out and party, they did not want to!! Not for any reason in particular just didn't want to. I ended up drinking myself to sleep. I had fun with them yes, but it was like a regular day of hanging out. Not a bachelorette, not even a party. Just grabbing food together. The next morning we went home. My fiance also had a similar experience with his groomsmen. Won't go into details but he started off with a best man and 4 groomsmen. Now he just has two groomsmen. He also paid for their Airbnb (which was pricier than ours), and also paid for all of his things by himself. & they went to some Medieval place and to main event. Sure, they're just parties, but we wanted to enjoy just one pre-wedding event. I really do not like that I feel like we were taken advantage of because me and him are both passive people and avoid conflict. We both spent well over 500 combined that weekend plus the cost of the AirBnbs. I let it go and so did he. Because they're just parties....
Here it is now, with the wedding happening next week. My maid of honor confesses to me that she has not gotten her dress and will not be able to be in the wedding. Also does not know of she will even be able to make it. Not once did she ever mention to me she was having financial issues and with her being my number one girl my bestfriend since forever, I was so hurt. All of their dresses were about 100. I could have easily bought her dress and arranged for her to ride with one of my family members down here since they all live in the same town in Arkansas. Since the first of this month, we have had about 20 people (who already RSVP) tell us that they were not coming. Most of our vendor deadlines were at the end of October. SO, we now have lost about $1,500 that we can not get back (table, linen rentals, catering, etc). We had planned for a small wedding of about 80. But at this point we do not even know who is coming. No one is really responding to our text messages and calls. We could not have a rehearsal dinner due to everyone not being available at the same time. So we decided that the morning of, we would run through our game plan so that everyone was on the same page. Today (Nov 6) two of my bridesmaids are telling me that wont be able to come until 2pm. We were all supposed to meet at 9am, 11 am at the latest. If I would have known this ahead of time, I would have really pushed for a rehearsal dinner. Because we are setting up in the AM as well. This is my breaking point, because this entire year, nothing has went well with our wedding party. The day of the wedding is coming so fast and I just want this one day to go how I planned. I also made a groupchat a couple of days ago with our wedding party to talk about details, timeline, and things that we needed help with during the wedding. Since it was obviously impossible to get them all in one spot before the wedding, we did not really get a chance to talk about all of those things. I asked them for their opinions on things and no one has responded!!! no one!! I have been crying nonstop to my fiance about how unhappy I am with all of this. A fourth of our guest are not coming and we still haven't heard back from almost 30 people. We only have about 30 confirmed guests. I wish I could just cancel all of this and get our money back. If I had known these things would happen, I would've gotten married in a courthouse. Everyone is using the same excuse “Oh it’s on a Thursday.” I kid you not, I made a post on Facebook almost every single week since I first got engaged practically begging people to get off of work. It’s not that the issue was that it was on a Thursday, I feel like me and my fiancé just weren’t important enough for these people to request off from jobs.. one of his cousins straight up said “I can’t come man why does it have to be Thursday.” And talked about how work was an issue blah blah and when I asked him why didn’t he request back off in January he took forever to respond and basically said things along the lines of him being busy and forgot. We sent out text reminders, emails, fb post and tweets every week. Literally everything to remind people that our wedding was on a Thursday. I really just feel like we don’t matter to the people we consider the closest.
I know this is a lot, but I feel like I still did not even halfway explain some of the things that happened with our wedding party. The people we picked, were people we considered close friends and yes I get it, life happens but this is still the worst feeling. All I want is for the wedding to go well. We ended up inviting associates, people from church, and coworkers to makeup for all the last minute no's, and hopefully everything will be okay. I know I am probably whining, but everyone has a breaking point. My mother told me, "You always realize who is really there for you when you have a life changing event." I want to also add on that I am horribly sick. I have a blood disorder that requires IVs once a week. I have to get surgery on my uterus as well as ovaries. I also have to have a procedure done to remove my polyps and test them for cancer, since reproductive cancers runs in my family. My insurance does not cover any of this so I have to pay for all of that by myself. & everyone knows that we are paying for my medical bills by ourselves. That is the part that upsets me the most. Is that all of these people knew that we were paying for the wedding ourselves on top of my health issues, and then we also had to throw down a lot of money for our parties. Let me also state that I understand no one owes me their time or money, its bothering that these people told us that they were going to pay for everything (but no showed to the parties.) Its bothering how these people know how sick I am and how all I wanted was to have a good time during this whole pre wedding/wedding period. It hurts me even more because my fiance wants me to be happy and stress free and he knows that all of this stress can cause my health to worsen. My health has gradually worsened over the past two years. Everyone knows... From my mind I was thinking, "Of course everyone would want to come and support their ill friend/cousin/niece/etc." I even told everyone don't worry about gifts as long as you are here I am happy. Only about 10 of my family member are coming. I am just sad and hurt and don't know how to feel beside hoping for the best.