WORST MAID OF HONOR EVER

Her dress ot your dress? Does she live far way or strapped for cash?

I am sorry that you are disappointed. It is hard when you expect the people closest to you to be there for you on your big day! Have you talked to her about her lack of responsibility as your MOH?

My dress. She lives about 10 minutes away and she just bought a new mustang to drive places in, but cant drive to my place? And she has money, but she is too selfish to spend it on anyone but herself. A lot of this is because she has this new boyfriend and wants to spend all her time with him. Last weekend we had our Jack and Jill. She came late, then sat around complaining all night because she had no money for drinks (she had money, she just wanted people to buy them for her), and then she left early to go see her boyfriend. Too busy for me. And I'm not even a demanding bride!!! I'm very relaxed but she is literally doing NOTHING to help me out. I have unofficially made my SIL maid of honor in her place. She has been here for me every step of the way. My SIL is def. strapped for cash. She is a 22 year old university student. She works and goes to school and still has tie to help me out.

I haven't talked to her but the other bridesmaids have. She does try, she just can't see too far past her own wants and needs.

I think you should talk to her. One of two things will happen. You will tell her how you feel and she will catch herself and be like damn I didn't realize. Or you talk to her and you decide to make someone else your MOH. The last thing you need is more stress, so just confront her.

Oh man that is terrible. I hope you talk to her and tell her how you feel. If she is your best friend, she will realize and make things better.

It sounds like you guys have been close for awhile. It would be a shame if the friendship falls apart over this. If she truly cares about you as a friend, then she should suck it up and be there for you every step of the way. She really should do all for you during this process that she would want from you when she gets married. Even if the other bridesmaids have talked to her, you may want to try to find the strength to talk to her (and calmly) to tell her your complaints. If she is unable to fufill her responsibilities, then let her know you would still love to have her as a BM but she will be replaced with your SIL.

My MOH never wanted to help with anything either, but the icing on the *wedding* cake was when she started telling me DH was going to leave me at the later and she wanted him to so she could have me back. She went as far as to say many mean things about him to me and my family, and to speak of my ex and how much he "still loves me" all 3 months before the wedding. I axed her out of the wedding and replaced her, best thing I could've done for my wedding. Ne MOH made everything great, and if it was great already, she made it better.

You might want to take her out completely from the wedding party or have a serious talk with her.

Regardless, I hope you can concentrate on your day and focus on just you and your DS. Good luck!

Sometimes some people can't handle not being the center of attention or the fact that you have a relationship you're happy in and she doesn't have that yet. It may have nothing to do with you and be something all about her and where she is or more so "isn't" in her life. Unfortunately she may not even realize her selfish behavior as being selfish. It would be good for you to open the lines of communication and tell her how important it is or isn't to you for her to be a part of your day. I agree with everyone else, talking to her is your first step to resolving your issue with her. The end result may not be the outcome you hope for, but it may end up being the best.

I think Futre Mrs. P hit the nail on the head. My MOH is not very involved at all either. Never came dress shopping with me, or helped with anythin, or threw a shower (I'm about to plan my own bacherlette party!). and truthfully I think its because it makes her sad to think I'm getting married and she hasen't found 'the one' yet. Don't let her ruin your day! Just go about your planning without her, come time for the big day she will realize the mistake she made in not being there for you, unfortunately she is just too into herself right now to realize it

My MOH is my sister and she hasn't asked to help with anything but she does live out of town and that's not her style anyway. One of my BMs has asked me to let her know on numerous occasions if I need any help but I'm the type of person that likes to do things myself and feels like I'm being a burden on anyone if I do ask for help. If I get totally overwhelmed near the wedding date I'll ask but otherwise if I can handle it I do. But that's my situation, I would be upset too about your friend. It doesn't seem like she wants to be a part of anything, have you asked her what is going on, why she doesn't want to be involved? Oh, I just saw your additional post (her boyfriend) but was she like this before the wedding, is this just her character?

Hope that vent made you feel better....doesn't it feel good just to type it? I think though I'd give her a free pass on the cake tasting and the dress fittings....IMO they're not really considered MOH duties. It's sad that she wasn't there to chose your dress, for sure, but I never even thought about bringing my MOH to the fittings, or any vendor appointments. I usually bring my FH so he has a say. Is it possible that your idea and her idea of MOH duties are different? IMO a MOH's duties would stem around the day of, making sure your makup isn't smudged, holding your train when you pee, holding your bouquet at the alter. It's "nice" for them to throw some sort of party before, and it's "nice" for them to let you talk all wedding stuff but maybe she's just not into it. Also if there is a new boyfriend....her mind just isn't in your world right now lol haven't we all been there with a new love?

I don't understand why there is always MOH trouble. I'm not that far in2 my planning but I can tell that my MOH is not at all interested in discussing my wedding plans. She just found out she is pregnant and I want 2 give her a surprise baby shower but if she is going 2 continue with this not answering the phone, making up reasons why we can't talk I don't want 2 be bothered with her at all. We haven't had a real conversation since I told her I was getting married.

@ Allison I really think you should talk 2 her and if she don't give u the reaction u r looking 4, then make ur SIL ur MOH. Its upsetting but u have 2 let her know that u will get married with or without her. Women 2day need 2 grow up and realize that every1 get different BLESSINGS at different TIMES!!!!!

Awwh I sorry hun! Have you told her about it?

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I would talk to her and just let her know that if she doesn't have time to be the MOH, you understand but will need to have someone who is committed to the process for your wedding because you really wanted her to be a part of it. But the MOH does not just show up the day of the wedding smiling and all dressed up. It is her "duty" to be there through the process to help you through and be your right arm. And when i say "duty", i mean it. You need someone who is in your corner. My MOH has been the best! But I have a sister who is a MOH and a Matron of Honor. I tried involving them but they were too busy. Then when they saw her doing everything they wanted to complain. So i specifically lined out all of the times and things I asked that they couldn't do so i stopped asking and they just shut their mouths because they couldn't say anything. Talk to her and see if she's able to uphold (just so you know you tried) and if not, move on to your SIL.

I understand both side of the court....If you asked her to be there and she upfornt told you she couldnt make it I understand her point because those are not really her appointments. However If she has agreed to be there and a the last minutue ditched out on you, I see where you would be upset.

As far as the shower if she has agreed to plan it, than she should do her part. however you have to talk to her if your unhappy, other people doing it will only make the situatuion worse because she'll feel attacked.

That's soo sad That is of course why I pick a male for my MOH though. Personally, I would let her go, but that really depends on how close you are to her. Good Luck, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful, even if she doesn't help out.

I know exactly how you feel i think My maid of Honour would have to be the worst. She is always trying to rule my wedding plans. She wasnt happy with any dress i picked ended up buying a dress the is very expensive. She has winged about my hens night and that im being inconsiderate having it on the weekend she wants to do other thing. Im selfish now because i have choose to have reception were her under age children will not be able to drink. She has declared that she will sneek them alcohol even if it means the reception will get closed down and she has said that she wants to look better than me on the day. Im paying for hair nails and make up to be done and shes not happy with were iam having them done she wants me to get them done were she wants will will cost me $1000 more than were i have choosen please help what should i do

Wow. I thought I was the only one. If I told my whole story, you'd all think I was making it up! For me, it wasn't important that my MOH helped me out during the planning process. My only expectation was for her to help me on the day. Which didn't happen. The morning of the wedding, she misplaced a bra strap & began crying and sobbing. Locks herself in the room we were all getting changed & refuses to help herself. She spent, literally,the entire reception text messaging her bf & ignoring everyone. She had been giving me a hard time throughout the planning process & especially approaching the wedding day. So when I confronted her about her childish & selfish demands, she screamed, sobbed, & ordered me to do what she wants. She even screamed at my husband to do what she wanted! Who does that? A 4 yr child, maybe!These were some of MOH's many antics. If I had 1 more month before my wedding, i would have ditched this monster.