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Just Said Yes October 2023

Worried my friend will think I’m copying her? Advice please..

J, on June 9, 2021 at 6:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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Hi there!

One of my friends from school growing up had my dream wedding a few months ago. They eloped and then a few weeks later had a huge party/reception to celebrate and played a video of when they said their vows when they eloped. Her and I are kind of close, but not as close as we used to be. Her wedding was beautifully done.
The thing is, it has been my DREAM since I was a child to elope somewhere beautiful then have a party/reception with friends on a later day. When I found out that’s what she was doing my heart SANK!
I have never wanted to walk down an aisle and get married in front of everyone. I want something personal and intimate, BUT I still want to have my bridesmaid and have groomsmen at the reception and wear my dress again. Just no public ceremony, but I wanted to have it recorded and shown too. I’m worried sick now that it’s my time and worried she’ll think I’m copying her and that other people from the small town were from will think I’m copying her. Her colors are close to mine too.. she had dark green but I’m wanting more light green. It’s making me sick and worried. Does anyone have any advice?!

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Latest activity by Mcskipper, on June 10, 2021 at 11:26 AM

Super July 2020
Cool · on June 9, 2021 at 6:09 PM
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It looks like you’re getting married in two years, in which case, I wouldn’t worry about it. I would probably let her know some of the similarities of you haven’t already shared your vision with her, but you can really wait a while to do that. Plan the wedding you want first, share info later.
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Devoted June 2026
Kaylee · on June 9, 2021 at 6:13 PM
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Make sure the location isn’t too similar but if she had a mountain wedding you could have a beach one or visa versa. I’m sure it will all work out and be fine
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Jm Sunshine · on June 9, 2021 at 6:25 PM
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It has been quite the norm this past year for majority of bride's to elope or have small wedding, then a big reception later (thanks, Covid!). I don't think anyone is going to think twice if you do something similar as your friend. It's more common than you think!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 9, 2021 at 6:38 PM
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Honestly weddings are so similar i don't even know many that are truly THAT unique haha. and esp like what PP said, i wouldn't worry about it. it doesn't seem like you're even trying to copy her, it just happens that your tastes were similar
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Devoted October 2021
Ariel · on June 9, 2021 at 10:18 PM
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Do what you want! You aren’t copying her wedding and even if you were, there is nothing wrong with that.
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Expert August 2021
Ingrid · on June 9, 2021 at 10:24 PM
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If you are worried about it have a conversation with your friend. Like others have said many weddings are similar. I think telling your friend your idea and telling her this is something you've always wanted will go over better than not telling her at all.
Do what kind of ceremony and reception you want to make no matter your friend's reaction. Personally if a good friend of mine came to me and told me this I would be happy for them and share all I learned and what I would have done differently.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 10, 2021 at 1:22 AM
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Many people elope and have a reception later. So it’s not really “copying“ her. However, I don’t know small-town culture. But, your wedding is over 2 years away. So, I wouldn’t worry. But, if you’re concerned, then make yours different… change the colors and include different elements for your reception. Think out of the box.
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Lady · on June 10, 2021 at 10:41 AM
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This is a super normal thing to do - dont' worry about it at all.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 10, 2021 at 11:26 AM
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Also don’t overthink copying. Even in a situation where you DID take the idea from her, I’d see it as getting inspiration from her — and that’s okay and happens all the time! Every wedding I went to once I was planning my own , I was like viewing with a magnifying glass seeing what worked and what didn’t. A lot of what made my wedding successful was my experience as a guest better informing my hosting. So, there’s nothing weird about that either.

Anyway I think the ceremony video is a relatively common concept — it’s not like she was the first to have the idea or something like that. If you’re really REALLY concerned, and actually pretty close to her, you can just casually mention it, like “your video was so cool, it’s funny I’ve always planned on doing that for my wedding too!”
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Worried my friend will think I’m copying her? Advice please..

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