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Dedicated June 2021

Worried about Bartender

Doxie Mom, on April 22, 2021 at 10:01 AM Posted in Planning 0 11
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Hi All! I am getting married June 5th and love my future MIL, but at times she can be, well unreliable. She manages a bar and she said someone who works for her (who she is also good friends with) could be our bartender.


A couple months ago my FH asked who she recommended the to bartend and she said she would. The bar she works at currently is where we were ordering our kegs from and when we were talking to the owner and mentioned who was bartending the owner said oh she’s been off working for me because she hurt her back really bad...
I had my FH text her again and no response from her... this is now a week later. FH checked with his mom and his mom said oh she’s still planning on doing it, if this is the case why wouldn’t she respond. I am not sure if MIL reconfirmed or is just assuming. She often says what we want to hear. I don’t want to hurt my fiancé’s feelings by saying that his mom is unreliable but I don’t want to be out a bartender on my wedding
Any advice? Thanks!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on April 22, 2021 at 10:18 PM
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    You still have time. Unless she had a serious back injury that requires surgery or something like that, she should probably be fine by June. Can you maybe ask MIL and be like "hey, I know X is supposed to do it, but if they are unable to for whatever reason, do you have a backup plan?" Any vendor typically has a backup plan for if they are sick or can't work the event as scheduled for whatever reason. So maybe at least having someone in mind who can fill in if the original person can't do it.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    My advice is to always make sure you have a contract with any vendor. If this girl is going to be your bartender you should have a signed contract with her hours and cost. If not, what’s to stop her from just not showing up that day.
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  • D
    Dedicated June 2021
    Doxie Mom ·
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    The thing is she is not a “vendor” more of a family friend. I would have liked to get a vendor to bartend but FH says it’s not worth the money if this lady will do it just on tips (which is what she said she would do)
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    But if she’s not a vendor and she has no contract with you, will it be worth it to have no bartender and possibly no bar at your wedding? Does your state or venue require a licensed bartender to serve?
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    If you have not received a response from the person that is supposed to bartend, I would reach out again. If you still get no response, I would look for someone else.

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Whose tips? As the host you should be the one tipping her for the work; your guests should not be expected to open their wallets.
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  • D
    Dedicated June 2021
    Doxie Mom ·
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    I have never been to wedding that didn’t have a tip jar for bartenders
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    It seems like my prior post got deleted for whatever reason, but if you are in RI have you checked out any of the mobile bartenders? They provide the alcohol/glasses they set up everything and they bartend and they’re not as costly as you think.
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  • D
    Dedicated June 2021
    Doxie Mom ·
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    I’m in Michigan Smiley sad
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Ohh bummer
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    That doesn't make it good etiquette.

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