Wording for reception

The fanciness and quality of the invitation suites suggests the formality of the event. Also the wording, I would think. On your website, maybe you can have a stylized bowtie in the background as part of the graphics

Do you want it to be black tie or black tie optional? Usually that's listed on the bottom of the invites. Not for other dress codes, though. It seems like you're worried about specific people coming dressed inappropriately so you may need to discuss this with them directly.

Since you have a good amount of time before your wedding, I'd recommend just setting up an FAQ page on your wedding website. Then you can point-blank say "Dress code: Formal." That's usually where most people go to find out the details for weddings.

Are you worried about specific people? I'm from NJ, and I have never been to a wedding where everyone wasn't dressed in formal attire. It's pretty standard that weddings are, at minimum, semi-formal events around here. Especially at a yacht club.

The etiquette is that you don't address attire on the invitation. The exception is black tie, which is less a dress code and more an indication of the level of service to expect. The other exception is strict dress code at the venue.

Level of formality is suggested by invitation style and the venue you choose. You can add something on the wedding website about level of dress.

People should be allowed to dress as they see fit.

When you say formal, what exactly do you have in mind? Formal attire generally means full suits for men, and floor-length dresses for women. That sounds really hot for June. People usually pick up on what to wear based on the location of the event and formality of the invitation. When your guests see that it is at a Yacht Club, I think that alone will clue them into leaving their BBQ attire at home.

Actually I have read that you should put your dress code on invitations as the bottom line so that people know how formal to dress... I don't understand the number of people on these forums that suggest otherwise regarding not indicating a dress code. I would put it on your invitation and the FAQs section of your wedding website as "Attire: Formal" or whatever your dress code is. For us, we had people asking what we meant by "formal", so I created a Pinterest board and linked it in the FAQs

The best way to convey formality is with formal invitations. Those are typically plain white with letterpress. The etiquette that I have read in the published books available at Amazon and is common in our our circles is that a dress code is only printed on the invitation if it is black tie required by the venue to enter the premises. Otherwise it is spread via word of mouth. You really can’t control the attire unless it’s required by the venue because adults will dress themselves no matter what.


“Dinner to follow” sounds fine.

You can say that we would be our if you would honor us and celebrate at our formal wedding with reception following

Thank you so much for all the responses! I think my worry is more with specific people dressing too casually, so I think I may be able to nix that with putting info on our website and also by going with more formal invites. I completely agree with the replies re: weddings in NJ - I too have never been to a wedding here where anyone has dressed informally, but there's always the exception!

View Quoted Comment

The etiquette is that you never give a dress code on the invitation, because you're giving people the trust that they know how to dress themselves.

Dress "codes" are often arbitrary and not clear to people attending. They end up causing more problems, as indicated by the people asking what you meant by "formal".

We sent an event details card with our invitations that said “please wear formal attire, black tie optional. This will be an adult only celebration”


The paper your invites are on says a lot. Nice quality invites are matte and have higher paper thickness than it’s counterpart

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for taking the time to specifically respond to my input. I respectfully very much disagree, and we will need to simply agree to disagree on this point. If you search the etiquette online, every website recommends listing your dress code on the invitations in order to avoid confusion. Here are just a few examples:

https://www.deciduouspress.com.au/journal/how-do-you-write-a-dress-codes-wedding-invitation

https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-invitations-etiquette

https://www.invitationsbydawn.com/content/wedding-dress-code-101/

https://www.marthastewart.com/7945211/do-you-have-to-list-dress-code-wedding-invitation

My fiance and I personally like to be told a dress code so that we don't come too dressed up or not dressed up enough to the occasion. Dress codes can be "arbitrary" to a CERTAIN extent, but generally do provide useful guidance on the level of formality one should dress (i.e., tuxedo, light colored suit, should you wear a tie, should your dress be floor length or is a cotton sun dress appropriate, etc.). We only have a couple of guests who had questions about what we meant regarding formal, and that was mostly around whether we're expecting men to be in full tuxedos - these questions were mostly from people who don't normally attend more formal weddings. For us personally, we have a lot of people that dress *very* casually and a sundress would not be appropriate for our venue, so it was important to us that dress code be very clearly communicated.

View Quoted Comment

I was speaking to etiquette, as we are on an etiquette board here.

On my details card since my wedding is in November, I put--

COCKTAIL ATTIRE

Please dress warm for a brief ceremony on the patio

It is very much appropriate to put the attire expected at the wedding so no on feels under/overdressed on the details card included with your invitations.

If you aren't doing a details card, I would make sure to have a wedding website for details including the type of attire expected... cocktail, black tie, summer casual etc.