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Just Said Yes February 2021

Winter wedding, save the dates

Elizabeth, on April 20, 2020 at 5:06 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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Hello all,
We are getting married hopefully if this is all over February 2021. Currently we are in the process of picking out our save the dates. I would like to put something on it in regards to “if you won’t come if we have a snow storm please kindly let us know” I don’t want people to RSVP that they will come then not plan ahead we get a killer New England snow storm then people bail. My mom had made comments of the fact that people may not want to drive in the snow if we have inclement weather but I feel as though if people really feel like our wedding is important enough they will plan ahead with accommodations for the night. Is this appropriate to address on the save the dates, should we wait for the invites or not addresses it at all?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Anais, on April 20, 2020 at 10:28 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 20, 2020 at 5:15 PM
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Umm... no. It would be super odd to mention in general, but especially in save the dates. People aren't going to RSVP to your wedding until December or January, in which they'll be well aware that it's winter. I don't think there's a good way to say "hey, if you aren't willing to risk your safety to drive in hazardous conditions to attend my wedding, let me know now." Even if you did mention this (which again, you really shouldn't,) how is it going to benefit you at all? Are you just going to uninvite them?
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VIP September 2020
Molly · on April 20, 2020 at 5:17 PM
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Maybe you could put a little warning saying the weather in February can be unpredictable and there is a possibility of a snow storm.
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Just Said Yes February 2021
Elizabeth · on April 20, 2020 at 5:19 PM
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We had talked about just not sending them an invitation when the time comes to send them? The only benefit it would have to mention it is to avoid some family not showing up the day of the wedding after we payed for them. Which unfortunately happened for my SIL shower. I wasn’t trying to ruffle any feathers by asking, as you know weddings are expensive so we where just trying to gauge if and how we should bring it up.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 20, 2020 at 5:21 PM
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It's not okay to ask someone to RSVP when save the dates go out and it's also not okay to send them a save the date and then not invite them because they don't want to drive in a blizzard to your wedding.
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Just Said Yes February 2021
Elizabeth · on April 20, 2020 at 5:29 PM
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First off we were not going to make them RSVP cards, secondly this is the first time planning a wedding so we where not sure how to handle it. Again wasn’t trying to upset anyone by asking and was just looking for advice on it.
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Master September 2020
Nicole · on April 20, 2020 at 6:06 PM
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I would just send them as save the dates. When the time comes for invites and RSVPs (6-8 weeks before the wedding), people will be able to RSVP then (it would be rude to not send an RSVP after a Save the Date, even if they tell you ahead of time they won't be able to make it). Unfortunately, if weather is serious enough, you may have some unexpected no-shows even if people want to be there. I probably wouldn't risk my safety for a wedding if there was weather that severe, even if I wanted to be there no matter what.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on April 20, 2020 at 8:36 PM
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I wouldn’t mention it. Your head Count to the venue will be due 1-2 weeks before your wedding so be sure your RSVP due date is about a week before that because you’ll need to follow up.

Sadly, if there’s a blizzard your best option will be to contact everyone to confirm their attendance, if you’re worried about no-shows.
But if there’s a chance of a blizzard, wouldn’t you want to choose a different date? I wouldn’t want to risk any of my friends or family’s safety.
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Super December 2020
Anais · on April 20, 2020 at 10:28 PM
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Are you people coming from out of state and therefore not aware of how bad it could be?
I'm in a similar situation, my wedding is in December in the Sierra Nevada mountains. Now we chose December because the snow is normally more manageable then compared to other winter months. What I'm worried about is that people don't come prepared for a storm so I created a wedding website and wrote a lot of things trying to make sure people understand that they need something warm, might prefer to get taxis instead of rent a car, get all wheel drive etc.
I don't think it's appropriate to write something in the RSVP, I think people could think it's rude.
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