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sophie
Dedicated June 2021

Why so much drama about "duties?"

sophie, on September 28, 2020 at 7:51 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 23

I'm starting this post by saying that I absolutely am not looking for a fight or to cause drama. Just sharing something I've noticed. In the amount of time I've spent scrolling through these forums, there's one thing I've seen that really stands out to me. Almost any time someone shares that they're...

I'm starting this post by saying that I absolutely am not looking for a fight or to cause drama. Just sharing something I've noticed.

In the amount of time I've spent scrolling through these forums, there's one thing I've seen that really stands out to me. Almost any time someone shares that they're unhappy with the lack of support/involvement from a member of the wedding party, it seems like the sole response is "that sucks, but their only job is to get the dress and show up." Now, while I understand that that truly is the WP's only job, it seems like in most weddings now, it's not the custom. I feel like most brides pick BM's that understand them or should know what they want, or who they would feel comfortable discussing their expectations with upfront. I know I personally am lucky to have a MOH who knows exactly what I do and don't want re pre-wedding festivities. However, I feel like we could be doing a little better to show some comfort to those brides who have realized those they want to be with them on their special day don't actually know them as well as they thought. Nobody is expecting their wedding party to wait on them hand and foot, and *most* know that there's really only one required thing. I don't know if it's my own ignorance to some other part of wedding etiquette, my people-pleasing side, or the fact that I hate seeing people upset, but I feel like as a community, when it comes to people feeling let down by the people they've entrusted with one of the most special days of their lives, we could be a little more sympathetic.

23 Comments

  • Michelle
    VIP September 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    I totally agree and it sucks BIG TIME. Gets me everytime I see those comments 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯My forever comment will be: "Where is this magical wedding rule book???? Like who made that up? Seriously.
    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    Exactly! And even if there was a big wedding rule book, we can still be nice to people who don’t know it cover to cover.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP September 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Yeah it's pretty ridiculous...I'm glad you posted this. Maybe some will think twice before responding next time.
    • Reply

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