Why isn't anyone responding?

Did you send actual paper invitations? Or just electronic? Either way is fine, you know your crowd. However, it is unreasonable to expect people to RSVP 7 months in advance. This is why it is recommended that invitations be sent out no earlier than 8-10 weeks before the wedding. Most of your guests probably don't know right now if they will be able to attend. Even if you got answers now, plans change, circumstances and finances change, work schedules change, and things could be a lot different next May than they are right now.

I apologize if I am misunderstanding your question. But it sounds like you are expecting RSVPs now, 7-ish months before your wedding.

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I am not expecting the RSVP answer per se. I am expecting a minimal effort - at least answer "I don't know" as simple as that via text messages. Yes - we sent actual paper invitations. Also, this is a destination wedding, hence why everything needs to be planned a bit earlier according to my planner. We're following what our wedding planner says since we trust her. It IS frustrating as bride's point of view when one side, the planner keeps asking for more info, while on the other side, no one is responding to the emails/texts.

Ok, yes, I see. A destination wedding does require more time, and doing things a bit earlier. But that earlier timeline is more for you than for guests, with the exception of booking travel. But here's the deal: you can't make people respond. All you can do is send the invites, and wait. I understand if you are feeling pressured from your planner, but there's not much you can do.

I know that's not the answer you were looking for. But these are adults, right? They know when and where, so the rest is up to them. They will book their flights to your destination in time, or they won't. You just do what you need to do to get everything ready at the destination.

One other thing I just remembered: some people's jobs reset the PTO (time off) at the beginning of the year, or that's when employees get their next set of days off on the books. It could be that some of your people won't know until that happens, whether or not they'll have the time off they need to attend. Just something to consider. Try not to stress. Tell your planner to chill. Just plan everything for 50 guests, and adjust the numbers as it gets closer.

The last I had heard destination weddings still don't normally do rsvps until 3-6 months before. That's part of why it's hard to plan them. I totally get why it's stressful, but it seems to be the norm for your circumstance. Close family members normally know earlier than that, but friends and/or distant family normally don't rsvp that early. The bride/groom almost always have to book and pay for venue/rooms before even knowing their guest count, but that's not much different than other brides as we don't know exact numbers when we book either. Destination weddings are super fun but very stressful.

I had a DW we sent out invites in Aug for a November wedding and had RSVP end of September.
IMO its absolutely ridiculous to email your guests in the regular and expect them to give you an rsvp this early. DW or not...

people being unresponsive or badly responding is a totally normal thing and it sucks. You just have to keep trying to confirm or get to a point that's like welp not hearing back from you means a no

Did you include an RSVP deadline? We are also having a DW, and we are including an RSVP deadline date on the invites. We made the date 60 days before the venue’s headcount deadline, so that I would have plenty of time to “chase down” anyone that doesn’t respond (as I’m told happens), and to allow time for me to buy all the stuff I need a headcount for, make the seating chart, etc.

View Quoted Comment I agree...

What was your RSVP deadline? Imo you shouldn’t be asking anyone earlier than whatever that is. If you didn’t set an RSVP deadline, we’ll I could see how that would cause a lot of confusion for your guests...on the one hand there’s no deadline, on the other hand you keep emailing.

So you said you’re not asking them to RSVP in those emails, correct? Then what is the point of sending them emails the first of the month (multiple months, I am assuming)? I Would get annoyed as a guest if someone kept emailing me about their wedding lol. What info do you need from those emails?

They’re not responding because your wedding is 7 months away and they can’t give you a response. It’s ridiculous to continue to follow up with them and expect a yes or no this early. It’s not “a millennial thing.”

You should send actual invitations with an RSVP deadline. I wouldn't respond to random emails about a wedding just asking essentially "what are you thinking now, do you think you're coming? Maybe?" Just send invites with a reasonable deadline and don't follow up again until after the deadline if you haven't heard from people.