Why is wedding so expensive?!

When FH and I started planning, we went to a wedding expo and we were stunned at how much things cost. The just surveyed 14,000 couples and the average total cost of a wedding in 2018 with rings but excluding the honeymoon was $33,931. It's very difficult to cut on catering when most venues have preferred caterers and those caterers dictate what you will serve to your guests at the venue. I do think that there's a lot of extra stuff you can cut in order to save. We're doing our own flowers for bouquets and centerpieces. We'll order the flowers online probably from Sam's club in bulk. The only stuff we may consider ordering from a florist are boutonnieres are wrist corsages. My best friend may watch some youtube videos and figure out how to make them. We're not doing wedding party proposals, welcome bags at the hotels, customized signs, a garter/bouquet toss, no favors, no getting ready robes or personalized hangers, no signature cocktails, no ceremony decorations or flowers bc we're getting married in a botanical garden, no aisle decorations, no guestbook, no ring boxes, no customized card and gift box, and no unity ceremony. I've been looking on Facebook Marketplace for gently used decor. I've also heard good things about Amazon and The Dollar Tree. I think there is a lot you can cut to make the more expensive stuff (venue, catering, photography) that you just can't change the price of more manageable. Also, for me, I'm chronically ill so all of those extra things do cost money, but also create unnecessary stress with sourcing, keeping track of, setting up and breaking down it all. All of that stuff is beautiful but we'd rather go without it to get married sooner.

We’re under 8k. My venue only charges for food and bartender fee. I have 96 guests at $40 pp. the ceremony fee is $300. And then All my vendors

I've found that it REALLY varies by where you live. I had every intention of spending no more than $15k and had a fairly simple but elegant image in mind. My close friend through a similar wedding (in terms of style, decor, venue) in the midwesg and invited triple the people, and spend significantly less than I am. Living in MA it was nearly impossible to find a venue and vendors within the budget I set out. It was a big disappointment.

The very top of my budget is 5k. I refuse to go into debt for a day. My FH and I just talked about what is important and what isn't. We're getting married in a park, the reception is in his brothers large back yard. We've had friends and family offer services- my mom is making the cake, his uncle is doing the photography, my friend is doing my makeup, one of my MoH is doing our engagement pictures...DIYing a lot. We're doing the cooking. Not having a DJ- nobody really wants to do the chicken dance anyways... Basically we're keeping it relatively intimate ( as much as we can with a 100-125 person guest list 😂). At the end of the day the important thing is we will be married and will have spent the day with our favorite people.