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Dedicated December 2021

Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!?

Arlene, on June 29, 2021 at 7:10 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 39

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So my wedding is 17 months out and I'm trying to make sure I don't go bridezilla by making sure I don't procrastinate or forget the little details and being slightly flexible.
So today my future MIL asks if she can have a SILVER dress made to wear to my wedding with a navy blue jacket? Now my wedding colors are Navy Blue, silverdust and white with turquoise and dark steel gray accents but are you serious?!?
I legit told her "I love you but if you wear a silver dress to our wedding, I'm spilling red wine on you LOL" she laughed a did a which is fine but I'm being dead ass serious! I said in pictures the lights will be bright and it will was out the color making it look white. I said I have already picked out several dresses I like for you and my mom in navy blue or black so I'm certain there is something you'll like in there.Then my brother, who is one of the groomsmen, said he doesn't wear a suit jacket. He'll wear a vest and tie but not a suit jacket... I said the ceremony will be short and you just wear it during that then you can take it off and wear your shirt with suspenders. He said if he didn't wear a suit jacket for my nan's funeral. He's not wearing one ever. Even to his own...
Questions: 1. Was I right to be a bit miffed at my future MIL for the silver dress?2. How do I even address my brother... he's very stubborn?3. Why are people testing my Jesus and want to get shanked 😤😡😠🤬??
Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!? 1

Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!? 1

Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!? 2

Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!? 3

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39 Comments

Latest activity by Arlene, on July 2, 2021 at 6:42 AM

VIP April 2022
CountryBride · on June 29, 2021 at 7:32 PM
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No one is being a diva sounds like you are being mean you’d poor wine on your Mil dress? That’s rude
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mrswinteriscoming · on June 29, 2021 at 7:32 PM
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In all honesty, you are the one who has been behaving like a diva.
I don't see the problem with your FMIL wearing a dress which is on par with your colour scheme, and realistically, if your photos show her dress as white not silver, it's because your photographer is not very skilled.
If silver is too "matchy-matchy" and you would prefer her to wear a different colour, I am sure she would have been kind enough to reconsider had you asked politely, but to tell her "I'm [going to] spill red wine on you" is immature and flat out rude.
Regarding your brother, I don't think it is a big ask for him to wear his suit jacket during the ceremony (unless he has some physical or medical condition that genuinely makes it uncomfortable). I would have a chat to him and explain that it's a reasonable request and it would mean a lot to you if he could wear the suit jacket. Just don't handle this how you did your FMIL's dress - remember, you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 7:36 PM
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Lol 🙄 calm down I was slightly kidding.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 7:39 PM
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Oh please 🙄...
I was slightly kidding...
Do people actually do that?I know I said I was dead ass serious but still lol I mean i asked "why they want to get shanked too" lolI guess people have no sense of humor anymore...
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mrswinteriscoming · on June 29, 2021 at 7:44 PM
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You might think you were "slightly kidding" but your 'funny' remark was rude, and your defensiveness reverberates my point.
Super October 2021
Lisa · on June 29, 2021 at 7:46 PM
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I don’t think it’s right to not allow your FMIL to wear silver. Silver is a classy color for wedding attire. But if you wanted her to wear a different color, there’s another way to go about it.

I do think your brother should wear the jacket. its temporary and he can take it off after photos and the ceremony.
Super December 2020
Anais · on June 29, 2021 at 7:46 PM
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I’m assuming your MIL isn’t a bridesmaid and therefore doesn’t need to have her outfit picked for her. Sounds like she’s trying to match your colors…. Have you seen the dress she picked and it does look bridal?
Regarding your brother, it’s pretty normal for him to wear what you choose as he’s a groomsman. Is just reiterate to him that this is what every groomsman will be wearing. You’re being nice by telling him he can only wear it to the ceremony and not the whole wedding so he should be able to wear the jacket for 15-30min?
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 7:48 PM
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Defensive?
Lol okay...
Honestly as long as my future MIL and future hubby thought it was funny and not rude, that's all that actually matters.I thought ya'll would have a good laugh but oh well LOL.
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mrswinteriscoming · on June 29, 2021 at 7:50 PM
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Sorry, my sense of humour doesn't extend to threats of assault and public humiliation/embarrassment.
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CountryBride · on June 29, 2021 at 7:55 PM
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Right I thought the same thing
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 7:56 PM
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I was kinda being poking fun-ish about the silver dress. She thought it was funny, she's not crying in the corner somewhere lol, no worries she and the future hubs and even my future sister in law all laughed.
West African culture everyone in the family both sides matches, hence the no silver.
I shall need to bribe my brother I think lol. 🤔🤔
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:01 PM
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West African culture the families match. My fiance is not of that culture so I am modernizing it a bit and keeping it with one main color but different color accents on it are fine. She wanted to have the dress made, I haven't seen anything, but unless it's navy blue and black 😬😬 lol
The ceremony will be quick 30 mins at most. I want to get to the eating and dancing ASAP lol!
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:07 PM
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I don't deal with people that would ACTUALLY do something like that.
Like I see that on TV but that's not real life...
That's why I'm baffled as to why it's not funny because that doesn't actually happen in my world as only other than a joke lol
Savvy July 2021
Diana Scott · on June 29, 2021 at 8:08 PM
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Have your husband taken to the groomsmen, and if you don’t want your mother in law wearing silver then just tell her. Give her some color options or show her a few dresses that you think would be a good color for her.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:08 PM
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Have you ever known someone to ACTUALLY do something like that in real life??? Not on TV??
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:25 PM
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Thanks!
I yeah I'll have the future hubs talk to my brother.
I have a bunch of navy blue and black dresses picked out for her and my mom as well. There are literally enough options for all my aunts and the future husband's aunts to all pick navy blue & black dresses too! I just want us all in the same colors (my bouquet will be mostly navy blue flowers with silver broaches).
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:31 PM
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ASSAULT?!?
Oh I can't...
I enjoy a dramatic TV show every now and again but I'm not ACTUALLY reenacting any scenes lol.
Devoted May 2022
Tory · on June 29, 2021 at 8:46 PM
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Is there a particular reason why your brother is so against wearing a suit jacket? I get that he hasn’t worn one before, but to completely cut out the possibility of ever wearing one, even for his future wedding seems like there’s some reason as to why. But I totally don’t think it’s unfair to ask him to wear it for the ceremony if that’s what the chosen attire is. Like you said you may just have to bribe him 😂
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 8:59 PM
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I'm not sure why he won't wear one and didn't push the issue because I figure I've got time to bribe & guilt him into 😅.
I am his only sister after all 😔... oh yeah I shall be pulling that card!
But I will definitely be asking him!I'll recruit my mom to help too!!

Judith · on June 29, 2021 at 9:28 PM
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In this culture, family not in wedding party are guests, and choose the style and color of their own clothes. Brides who feel the need to tell parents how to dress, or match or not match, are seen as being rude to their parents. All you ask is that they wear the same formality, or one step down, from the B and G.**** What he says about not wearing a jacket for grandma's funeral, makes it sound like there is no reason why he e would wear a jacket. You have to decide if you take him as is, with your permission, or he is a guest.