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Dedicated December 2021

Why does my aunt have to be like this?

Christina, on June 22, 2019 at 9:51 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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So I love my aunt, she’s great, but I do feel bad that she doesn’t have kids and she sees me as a daughter she has never had. BUT since getting engaged she keeps telling my family how depressed she is, etc. She had the idea of we all take a trip to Kleinfelds (my mom, her, my other aunt, and two of my bridesmaids). She said she was going to get a limo for us and we can have a nice girl city day, great. I see her today and I asked if she’s excited for Kleinfelds, she just shrugs her shoulders and says “I guess,” so I just brushed it off. Then she starts making comments like oh do you really want to waste your time going back and forth there if you find something, and just plain negative things. While I was talking to my cousin about the limo she said when she brought it up to my aunt she just said it’s your trip, not mine, even though she was the one who suggested everything and we all agreed. I know my aunt is depressed but I don’t know what to do.

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Latest activity by MrsJohansson, on June 23, 2019 at 7:19 AM

Super September 2021
Sharon · on June 22, 2019 at 10:24 PM
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Unfortunately I don't think there is much you can do. You aren't responsible for anyone else's happiness. You can talk to her to see what's really bothering her. Maybe she's afraid your relationship with her will change once you're married. Ultimately she has to deal with her emotions and hopefully will come around and be excited before your wedding.
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Expert November 2020
Cheryl · on June 23, 2019 at 3:51 AM
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You can totally have empathy for your aunt and also not take her feelings on as your own. I would give her one sit down to figure out what's going on, but then you gotta keep it moving. Just tell her you love her, you're there fore her if she wants to talk and thank her for being part of it. That's all you can do.
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Super October 2020
Renee · on June 23, 2019 at 5:45 AM
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Sit down with her and tell her you've noticed that she's seemed a bit down lately and you're worried about her. Ask her if there's anything that's bothering her or if she needs someone to talk/vent to. Just make sure she knows that you're there if she needs you. Other than that, there's not much you can do. Possibly suggest seeing her doctor, if she's depressed out of the blue, she should probably talk to someone
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Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on June 23, 2019 at 7:19 AM
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Agree with this. The negative thinking is not on purpose, it is the depression. Maybe the timing is coincidental but she may be feeling blue because she doesn't think there is anything this exciting happening for her. Let her know you love her and allow her to talk about her feelings if she feels to do so. Of course, maintain some boundaries. Offer to support her, ask what you can do for her but don't become the therapist.
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