Why does everyone fight me on sleeves?

Is it because of the area you are getting married will be hot? What does the dress look like? I agree if you want sleeves do what you want.

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Nope, It'll be NJ in the fall, so maybe 45-65.

It's a lace fit and flair. I've seen other dresses just like it with sleeves. I'm just frustrated with the eye-rolling and objecting about it.

It could be because they just think it looks better without sleeves but it IS your dress so they should do what you'd prefer to it.

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My only issue with that is it's all styles.

When shopping they asked, "What do you need in a dress?" I'd say sleeves and the objections would start. "Oh that'll cost a lot extra", "They don't make many dresses with sleeves", "women don't want sleeves".

I feel the same way, it's my dress, they should do what I want.

My dress has sleeves too


I had a similar issue when I first went dress shopping where I had exactly two things I didn't want in my dress which were no strapless and no mermaid cut and the attendant helping me like questioned how did I know I didn't like mermaid cut if I'd never been wedding dress shopping before?? Like I bought prom dresses in high school so I've tried on dresses before and I know what I like. And I had to repeat myself several times insistent I knew I didn't want that and it was very annoying.
Just stand your ground, you know what you want

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I know that is frustrating so I would just keep your plans to yourself and find a seamstress that will do what you want. You are paying.

It’s your day. Your dress. Your wedding. Go for what you want. You don’t want to regret not having the dress you dreamed about because of someone else’s opinion. They can go sleeveless on their wedding day.

I paid to add sleeves to my dress too.

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Crystal,

I feel you on so many levels right now! I have a very small bust, let's just say it's non-existent, and yet every woman in my family is "dying" to see me in a sleeveless, fitted bodice; which I have never felt comfortable wearing. My shoulders are also quite bony and I'd rather cover them up. Not to mention our wedding date is set for late January. "Just wear a white shawl," they say. In response, I would argue that I could have both selves and a shawl!

"2. Almost everything I wear has sleeves. Even other dresses."

Even some of my swimsuits have sleeves! They may be off the shoulder, but they're still there!

Personally, I think that you need to go for what you like and what would make you feel comfortable! You shouldn't let anyone talk you into something else, because at the end of the day, you're the one wearing it. On the other spectrum, I know a few friends with very heavy busts who were pulling their dresses up all night. Other friends said that it would itch on their under-arms because there's no fabric to keep your armpits protected from the embroidery/lace/sequins on the dress. I would say sleeves are a great, practical and elegant way to go, and I wouldn't let anyone tell me different. The princess' wore sleeves after all!

Thank you so much for your post! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there whose received push-back for being #teamsleeves!

Aubrianna Abbema

I'm not sure what your dress looks like, but it could be design. Sometimes, having sleeves can be the opposite effect, and make your arms look larger. if you have tiny arms, maybe this is what they mean -- you don't need to cover them up. The other thing is, depending on the material of your dress, actually sleeves could turn out to be very restrictive.

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I'm going to! It drives me crazy when they doubt people who know what they want and like. I get that most brides say "omg I never would have picked this", but still.

What's your dress look like? I'd love to see it!

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They make similar cuts with sleeves in regular dresses. It's not the cut, my options were very limited with sleeves.

I had one bridal owner say that designers aren't making sleeves.

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I need a swimsuit with sleeves!

I'm with you on sleeves and a shawl!

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Exactly! I'm not one to be like "please be quiet already" but the constant fighting seems odd to me.

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Crystal,

Haha! Exactly! I'm sure the sleeves that you add to the dress will make your look that much more elegant and flattering!

Best luck to you! I hope we'll be able to see the end result

Aubrianna Abbema

I understand! I'm always in sleeves, too. My dress has 3/4 length lace sleeves and I love it. When I was shopping I planned on buying a lace topper with sleeves if I couldn't find a dress I loved.

You know what you want and what you feel most comfortable in, don't let them talk you out of it!

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Thank you. I just felt like a crazy lady.

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Interesting you had that experience! That's too bad. Well for a november wedding, I think it makes sense to have sleeves PLUS if you like it. I thought I wanted sleeves for my August wedding. Good luck on your continued search for sleeves. I like the suggestion of a bolero too.

I agree with you . . . Some of the best dresses of all time have had sleeves, Ivanka, Kate , Meghan, Allison Williams, Miranda Kerr , Kim K (the third time), Hillary Duff (the second time), Nicky Hilton . . . I rest my case!

Maybe she doesn't want to give you sleeves because she's nervous about her work? Could you get a second opinion?

I also will be wearing long sleeves!

Not sure why, but there seems to be this weird idea that long sleeved wedding dresses are for "mature brides", and that if you're younger, you should be trying to show off as much skin as possible. Sigh.

But you definitely don't look old at all, so maybe that's why you're getting the pushback on the sleeves? It's a shame, because I think long sleeves look incredibly chic, regardless of age.