Why do weddings make people crazy?

Was there more to this?

That I waited so long to tell her and did not give her enough notice to go dress shopping. Since then it has gone down hill. The next time I saw her at a group function, she basically avoided me, eventually making awkward small talk. It seemed like she was upset that I had not included her in the wedding etc. In attempt to clear the air, I sent her an email explaining that while I understand that she is busy, I was frustrated that she has not been returning telephone calls and only sometime text messages. And that is why I told her in a voice mail. Basically, she did not respond and I no longer hear from her. She does not really contact R anymore either.

While I am not surprised by her response (she kicked her MOH out of the wedding weeks before it happened) and I don't know what I expected to happen, I am generally confused. I get that she is very busy and wanted to come dress shopping, I think the reaction was extreme. I know she wanted to be in the wedding, but as I told everyone else, it is small and my sister is the only BM. No one else seemed to have a problem with it. I should probably just let it go and move on, but keep wondering if I am somehow being unreasonable.

From what I have read, no you don't sound unreasonable as you tried to contact her earlier, it also sound like you two aren't even that close anymore and I think the bridal party should be reserved for the ones closest to you. Friendships change, people drift apart etc I would let it go.

If everything did happen the way you said, it sounds like you two aren't really friends anymore. :-\

If you really are offering to listen and she's just refusing to be direct, there's not much you can do. You can't control other people's reactions, only your own. Offer to listen if she has something to say and if she chooses not to say anything, time to move on. It sucks. I'm sorry.

I'd let it go too. It's never a good idea to try getting someone to talk to you when they really don't. It sounds like she isn't a very good friend anymore either. Enjoy the people you do have in your life and move on. We all know the less stress we have to deal with while planning a wedding the better.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. You made attempts to include her. What she decides to do with your attempts are up to her. I'm sorry, its never pleasant when friends grow apart but it does happen. I think you should focus on the people that do want to be there and are not being difficult.

I know all of you are right. My Fiancee thinks she is just being self absorbed. It just gets frustrating when mutual friends keep asking me about her and what happened. I think we are all just confused.

You're not being unreasonable. but also you said you told her about the wedding in a voicemail (i get why, she wasnt responsive) but thats quite impersonal and you didnt say you asked her to be in the bridal party so if you randomly called and said hey wanna go look at dresses, my response would be ummm, no.

but if she has since cut you and others off, then let her go. carry on.

Cut your losses and move on. People and priorities change.

I, too, have learned this the hard way through the whole process of planning my wedding. I have a friend who has been distant ever since I told her I was getting married. I even asked her to be a bridesmaid. Then, she moved across country and told me she may not be able to be a bridesmaid anymore because of distance/money. I cut her some slack, since she moved and knew it was financial burden, but still invited her to the wedding, hoping she'd save up knowing a year out that the wedding was going to happen. Then, she declined and it was really upsetting. She's supposed to be a super close friend that I've known for years, but I have come to terms and will cut ties with her. I guess priorities change and people change like Denise said. It's hard to stomach losing someone over a wedding, but I guess that's the way the tide rolls.

Sounds like she wasn't even returning your calls or texts before you told her about the wedding so I don't think it's even about the wedding. Enjoy your wedding and the planning, don't let other people ruin it for you and cause extra stress.

It made me crazy, still working my way back from some of the stupid stuff I've said, done or thought while planning this wedding. I'm still on the uphill to the wedding day, however I've been trying to be less bat shit crazy.

Best of luck.

I've had a similar situation drifting away from a close friend and it's a sucky thing to go through, but you tried and you can't beat yourself up for her reaction.

Move on.... if you dwell on her, it will just cause more stress you don't need. It sucks, but you've tried to reach out, and if she's not willing to respond, there's not much you can do.

Minus the kid, this sounds almost exactly like the situation I'm in with one of my BMs. It's not fun at all.

Not that this is specific to your situation, but when I saw the title of your post it made me chuckle because just last night FW and I were chatting with friends and we all commented that, there's something about weddings and funerals/deaths that brings out the crazy in people!!! I don't know why, but its so true.

@Missy This is very true! I see how it could easily turn into a three ring circus. I also feel like it has made me reevaluate my relationships as a result. I really hate drama.

I don't know why weddings do make ppl crazy , but it can be a time to figure out who's a true friend and who's not. The "non" true friends are probably just jealous or mad that you won't be in the "single girls " crowd and want to go out on a whim anymore ...at least if their single this can be. It sucks. , really does , but sometimes you just need to move on