Why do some women turn it into a competition?

Wow. That was childish of her. Some people just have their insecurities, and only look to outdoing others to make them feel better about themselves. I wouldn't sweat it. That just made her look like the childish fool that she is.

Yup. She sounds petty, immature, and jealous.

My uncle - yes, a man in his 60s, criticized my family's weddings, in a public post on F/B. He also insulted my mother, too. God knows what gets into people? (When his kids got married, they chose a completely different style of wedding. Can't he comprehend that different people make different choices?)

That doesn't sound like a very good friend!

Wow. Im sure people were looking negatively at her and not you because that is a really nutty thing to say.

What? Yeah she does not sound like a very good friend. Some people make everything into a competition and they're just not fun people to be around.

That's horrible! I feel really sorry for her, and also for her now-husband. That doesn't bode well for their relationship long-term, if she puts her selfish needs before what is best for them as a couple.

That said, the question is: Why?

She may be jealous of you and you've never realized it - it's only shocking that she couldn't contain it in public. I suggest you go to lunch at some point, in a public neutral place, and talk to her honestly about it - ask her, why does she feel it was so important to be married before you? Don't judge her answer, just listen. You may find this goes back a long, long time, and may not even be about you....

I found out second-hand that my cousin was terribly jealous of me, because her mother had been for years telling her "Why can't you be more like Rebecca?" Ouch! I had no idea of course, but it explained why after growing up practically as sisters, we became somewhat estranged when there was some passive-agressive stuff going on. She was angry with me because she thought her mom liked me better. That's not my fault, but I understood why she was so hurt.

But you should also ask yourself if you've been turning a blind eye to selfish behavior on her part for years, because you've been friends a long time and love her... if this is part of a larger pattern, it may simply be time to rethink your relationship. Sometimes, people simply grow into different people than we think they will, and we don't notice it because it happens slowly over a long time. A lot of brides find that weddings separate the wheat from the chaff, and they figure out who their true friends are.

Really weird

Thanks @Rebecca for the advice. I will say we aren't and have never been best friends but do hangout from time to time in social settings.

A similar thing happened to us. For years we've had to go to a number of weddings each year, because all our friends and some of our relatives are in the same age group. This year I have 5 weddings to attend.

When we got engaged/set our date, I called to confer with a friend since high school, who we knew hoped to be married that same year. The groom to be assured me they were looking at the fall or maybe late summer. We then booked our wedding for that spring.

Three months later, we were at a party with that couple, who surprised everyone by saying they were getting married the same weekend as us. The groom said it was the only date their venue had available. Sure !!!!

We weren't thrilled because one groomsman was in both weddings, and we ended up having to reschedule our rehearsal for a full week before the wedding. Later, a mutual friend confessed to me that the other bride had confessed to her that they "HAD TO get married first, because they got engaged first." We had been dating 8 years, at the time we were engaged and they around 4. It is not a competition, lady!

We're no longer friends with that couple. We didn't even invite them to our wedding, after that groom insulted my sister/BIL very publicly on F/B.

Awkward yes, but it only made her look like an idiot

Awkward for sure. Not a very good friend

You should of said. Good for you, do you want a cookie? haha

You nailed it with your answer to her. Mark Twain said "comparison is the death of joy". I'll never understand the competition thing when it comes to a wedding.

How did other people react when she did that? Does her family know she's an idiot? Or were they oblivious to the comment?

Yep I have some friends like that. It's not a competition!

Invite her to your fabulous wedding and see if she still thinks she's "won".

Thanks ladies.

@MzRosaLu most people ignored it and I heard a few comments under breath. Another friend of mine jumped up, gave me a long hug and just said I know.

@Pinky Winter Promise I agree it's childish.

I always assume things like that come from a place of deep insecurity. Happiness, joy and love aren't a zero-sum game, there's no cash prize for getting to the altar first. I think that kind of competitiveness exists when someone just doesn't have a really strong sense of self, so they need external markers like getting married first (or a bigger ring, or a newer car, or a XYZ whatever other thing they can compare to someone else) to tell them that they're ok.

Dealing with this type of behaviour now, with my FH sister now. How did you go with it? Did it subside?