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Expert May 2021

Who walks who?

Ti'Anna, on May 18, 2020 at 4:46 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 10
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Hey ladies,

I was wondering if you guys could help me out with this. Who walks exactly who down the aisle?

My mom?

Mother in law?



  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Megan Online ·
    • Flag

    There aren't hard-and-fast rules on this! I know oftentimes, brothers or sisters of the bride and groom can take on this role. My grandma will be walking herself down the aisle (flower woman) and my FH will be walking with both his parents, just as I'll be walking with both my parents Smiley smile

    If you're super stuck, you could ask for their input!

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    Echoing Megan, it's really whatever makes the most sense for your family. My mom walked me down the aisle (was supposed to be both of my parents, but my dad has a spinal issue and that day was particularly painful so he just sat down in the front row). My MIL and FIL walked down together, and his grandmother walked down with his grandfather. You could also have siblings, other relatives, or designated ushers escort them down, or they could walk down on their own. I've even heard of the groom or best man escorting the mother of the groom down.
    • Reply
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    Totally up to you!

    My mom walked me down the aisle with my dad. If she hadn’t, I would have had my two brothers walk with her. Then ended up escorting my two adult cousins who were my flower girls.
    Husband walked with his mom and dad. If he didn’t walk down the aisle, it would have just been FIL and MIL.
    His grandmother was also a flower girl so his teenage cousin escorted her down the aisle.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S Online ·
    • Flag
    My husband walked his mother down, my brother walked my mother, and we decided not to walk grandmothers down.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    At our wedding, my mom and mother-in-law walked down the aisle. My husband didn't like the idea of either of my grandmother's walking down the aisle as he has no grandparents that are alive. I also am not that close to my one grandmother so I would have only wanted the one to walk down the aisle which would have made the other feel bad.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Traditionally, the grandmothers, then mothers, are the last guests to be seated, by an usher or an escort, like a family member, often brother or uncle of the bride. Then the procession begins. They are not part of the procession itself.
    Sometimes, if there are no ushers or brothers or uncles, the groomsmen will do it. Then take their places entering from the side to stand beside the groom. Then the music for the procession ( separate from seating music) starts. The procedure traditionally is that the ushers should offer his right arm to the woman and walk beside her, with her husband or date walking behind them. It is only when the FOB is walking in the procession that only the woman is escorted to her seat. Recently I have seen this messed up by people, only to have the clergy, coordinator, correct them at the rehearsal. For all people talk about the mothers and grandmothers seating, it is the time for the grandparents then the parents to be seated. It is just that it is the grandmother or mother who is beside the usher, and male walks behind. ... First the grandmother and grandfather walk to the usher. The usher walks with right arm extended to the woman, grandfather a step behind. After seating, the other grandmother is escorted, grandfather walks behind. Then MOG takes usher's arm, FOG walks behind. Then MOB takes usher's arm and her husband or date ( or bride's father if not escorting the bride in procession), walks behind.
    The mistake is that many seem to think all the husband's and dates are seated already, which is wrong. Husband's and SO or dates always walk behind the usher while the woman holds the usher's arm. ( Except FOB) And ushers sometimes are groomsmen, and dress as such. But if they are family members assisting with seating, whether one person escorting only their own family, or helping anyone earlier then doing family women, they dress as family guests do, not to match the wedding party. .... People on Wedding Wire frequently talk about mothers being in the processional, but actually they are not, unless MOB & FOB , or MOB alone, walks with the bride. ( Different when all parents stand under chuppah, Jewish wedding.) In music, and in the program, after general seating, is the seating of grandparents with Grandma holding usher's arm ahead of Grampa, then Mothers with usher, and her husband or date. Then ushers take their seats, or groomsmen and groom take their places. Then the processional starts, processional music for a few bars before the first BP walk. ... Something few people mention: this is not written in stone. Ask the mothers or parents if they want this special seating. Some consider it an honor. But some mothers know they will be very emotional, and do not want to be seated with everyone looking at them, while they snuffle and cry. Or they are like my mom, and surprisingly, my husband's mom. Who wanted to be first seated. To see the area , flowers, before anyone. And to sit and look around and smile at / greet other, early. Working as a musician in many weddings, as well as in attending weddings, I found that this is pretty common, for all you rarely see posts or comments about it. Older etiquette books always say, special seating is only an honor if the people involved want it. Mothers/ parents who wish to be seated earlier, and those who want special seating, should each have their wishes respected. It does not have to be, all done one way. ...It also is an issue, because step grandmothers are seated before regular, and step moms and the Dad are seated before the bio or primary mother, and the step dad, according to etiquette. Closest relationship last. But that is upsetting to many, and family harmony is more important than anything. I have always been of the opinion that when did orced and remarried parents and grands are involved, working out the seating order for any special seating is mandatory, well ahead of time. Rehearsal for the wedding party is strictly optional. They don't squabbles at the doors to the sanctuary about who gets seated in what order, as some families do. Sadly.
    • Reply
  • Martha
    Devoted October 2022
    Martha ·
    • Flag

    I have decided to have both my mom and dad, god willing, walk me down the isle. My FH has also had the desire to be walked down the isle by his parents. We will not have a bridal party so maybe this will be our little isle party.

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  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    This is entirely up to you. My mom and dad both walked me down the aisle, and my wife's mom & dad walked her down the aisle as well. Both of my grandmothers have passed, but my wife's grandmothers are both still alive. We had my BIL walk them both down the aisle, individually. He was also a bridesman, so he was busy that day Smiley laugh .

    • Reply
  • Kerin
    Rockstar February 2021
    Kerin ·
    • Flag

    I think the tradition is an usher seats grandmothers then mothers, and they are the last to be seated.

    my ceremony is a little different. we're not having FH's mom seated, all of our grandparents have passed, as has my mother, so FMIL will walk to her seat with FFIL.Smiley winking

    FH's grown children will be walking him to the alter, and my young daughters will be walking me...my youngest (7) is fully planning to say "here, you can have her" loud enough for everyone to hear Smiley laugh she thinks she's so funny LOL

    • Reply
  • Marisa
    VIP October 2020
    Marisa Online ·
    • Flag
    Initially I thought it would be sweet if my nephew walked my mom down the aisle but then I decided I wanted both my mom & dad to walk me down. It could be a family member, bridal party / groomsman, usher, etc. or they could walk themselves if they want.
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