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Just Said Yes March 2018

Who walks the mob down the aisle?

Cari, on January 12, 2018 at 5:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19

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Sooo...
I know this job usually goes to a brother of the bride or something like that, but my brother is my Man of Honour. My sister is my Matron of Honour. I am a middle child so I split the role between them both, but my brother has always been my best friend. So MOB pitched that she would walk with my brother. I advised I wasn't a big fan of that because I would like to have my brother (MOH) with me as long as possible. Also I don't like the idea of someone walking around church to circle back. My sister has been married for 6 years and has two children (flower girl and ring bearer). I suggested maybe my brother in law escort her up. He has no other part in the wedding and this would be a good way to include him. She went nuts and told me that she will just have FOB escort her. Which drove me nuts.

Should I fold on this battle or stand my ground?

Thanks in advance!

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19 Comments

Latest activity by bluevelvet, on January 13, 2018 at 12:36 PM

Master May 2018
Forestwed · on January 12, 2018 at 5:46 PM
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Can both of your parents walk you down the aisle? That would solve the problem so she’s not alone.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on January 12, 2018 at 5:47 PM
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Why can't your brother escort your mother down the aisle? This is literally a few minutes before you walk down the aisle so he would be with you up until the last minute. I don't see the problem.
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Beginner August 2018
Taylor · on January 12, 2018 at 6:05 PM
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We will probably have my fiancé do it. One of my friends who got married a few years ago did it that way and I thought it worked pretty well.
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 6:24 PM
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I'm not a big fan of anyone walking back up the aisle or around the church. My church is very open and larger so I just feel like it would look messy..
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 6:25 PM
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I doubt she would take me up on the offer. She's pretty big into tradition! But I'll try that! Thank you!
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 6:26 PM
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Oh yeah this is a good idea too! Thank you
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Champion December 2017
earias · on January 12, 2018 at 6:33 PM
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Is he walking you down the aisle too? I guess I don't understand why he would be walking back down the aisle after he escorts your mom? He could just go stand up front after he seats her. I like the idea of your fiance escorting her as another PP suggested.
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 6:40 PM
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Well since he's Man of Honour. I thought he would walk down the aisle after the other bridesmaids. Is that not right either?! 😔
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Champion December 2017
earias · on January 12, 2018 at 6:47 PM
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I don't think it matters. I think it may be difficult to know how to do this because you're already breaking tradition by having your brother as the Man of Honor - which I love, but does tend to create a tricky scenario as seen here. I don't think anyone would think twice about your brother escorting your mother down the aisle, then going to the front to stand while the rest of the party completes the processional.
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Super May 2019
LaraLouM · on January 12, 2018 at 7:07 PM
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I am thinking I will have my FH walk with my mom. Kind of like a blending of families, special moment for them? IDK LOL
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April 2018
GoodMOB · on January 12, 2018 at 7:14 PM
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I'm a MOB, and I can understand why your mother wants the brother walking down her down the aisle. I don't see why he can't walk her down, and then just come back down the aisle again?
What we are doing is that I and my husband (FOB) are both walking our daughter down the aisle.
Her 2 brothers (who are Bridesmen) will walk in like the Maid of Honor and bridesmaid are doing. I think that's what they decided.
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Super April 2018
Heather · on January 12, 2018 at 8:41 PM
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My godfather will be walking my mother down the aisle. He has played a large role in my life and we want him to be involved in some way!
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Super October 2017
stephanie · on January 12, 2018 at 9:35 PM
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Your mom is overreacting, but this isn't something I would dig my heels in on.

My mom was escorted by my little brother, but MIL was escorted by one of my stepbrothers since her other son was the Best Man. No one cares who escorts the MOB or MOG in, it's silly to make a fuss over. If you don't have ushers, you can just have any close friend or family member escort them. If you have ushers, have one of them do it.

I agree though that having people circle around looks weird (except ushers, who are walking back and forth anyway seating people, so it looks normal for them). However, if your brother does it, I would have him circle around and walk in right in front of you rather than just wait up front.
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Devoted October 2017
bluevelvet · on January 12, 2018 at 9:55 PM
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Your mother is digging her heels in and making this moment about her and her needs and for that I am sorry. I went through the same thing: My brother was my escort as our dad had passed. RIGHT BEFORE the processional my brother sticks his head in: "Hey....mom wants me to walk her down." I said, no, you are MY escort - have an usher do it as we planned. So my cousin walked her down and we all lived to tell. Tell your mom your brother has a role - as your attendant and her escort will be (fill in the blank) then ask her to pass the bean dip.
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 10:40 PM
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Oh my gosh!!! It's like we're the same person! Haha and to me I think I would be more understanding if I didn't have someone sufficint or someone she knew. But my brother in law would be perfect in my mind to escort her up. He's been apart of our family for awhile and is the father to her grandchildren. But the more she insists the more I insist and then it makes me feel like a bad daughter.
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Cari · on January 12, 2018 at 10:43 PM
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Absolutely! If I break on this, which I probably will because my mother is everything to me. I will absolutely have my brother walk back around even though I think it's so messy. This is the first disagreement we've really had and we're less than a month away from the wedding so I guess I already won there. Haha
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Master October 2017
O · on January 12, 2018 at 11:59 PM
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Why can't she walk down by herself? If she's so adamant her son in law can't escort her down the aisle, then she should walk down by herself.
We had no escorts for our mothers; all our families and guests entered the room to the ceremony at the same time.
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Dedicated September 2018
H&MForever · on January 13, 2018 at 11:35 AM
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I’m having both my mom and dad walk me down the isle. Maybe your mom can also walk you down that way she won’t walk alone.
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Devoted October 2017
bluevelvet · on January 13, 2018 at 12:36 PM
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Yes - that is why I replied as it sounded so familiar. At least you and your mom sound really close, my mom and I were not that tight and to be blunt, my brother was her favorite and she wanted him to do a reading, give a toast, escort her, be an MC at the reception....I was like good gosh woman it is my wedding!!! LOL! So I knew she would try to showcase him as much as she could!!! Tell her it will be someone else - learn to deal and she will live to see the reception. I promise.
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