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Master October 2022

Who walked you down the aisle?

Jana, on September 13, 2020 at 4:57 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 20

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The whole 'I belong to myself so I'm walking by myself' idea never registered on my radar since most people have not subscribed to the actual meanings behind the plethora of antiquarian/medieval wedding customs in decades if not centuries. They're just following the motions because tradition feels safe and comfortable. In 2020, most people know that couples decide for themselves and weddings as business transactions are not a thing so they don't bat an eyelash.

That said, I don't want to walk down the aisle by myself because I know I will freeze up if there isn't anyone with me. The stage fright is an automatic response with all eyes on me, even in the smallest groups. Having an escort has nothing whatsoever to do with being traded off as property, etc. But I don't know a male friend/relative to ask off the top of my head. Would it be strange to walk with a random relative or fiance down the aisle?

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20 Comments

Latest activity by Shirley, on September 14, 2020 at 9:51 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on September 13, 2020 at 5:08 PM
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I am walking by myself because my father is deceased and my big brother has stage fright to walk me down the aisle. I feel that is an important position. Even my officiant suggested my MOH's husband and while I like him and all I was like no. LOL
I am walking by myself out of having no one that I would put in that position to walk me. If my FIL were there I would not mind but we are having a 3 guest minimony.
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Expert October 2020
Katie · on September 13, 2020 at 5:19 PM
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I know some couples walk together as a sign of commitment and entering into the marriage together willingly and freely.

I myself am being escorted down by my 13 year old son.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on September 13, 2020 at 5:36 PM
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I walked down with my mom. It was originally supposed to be both of my parents, but my dad has a physical disability and was in a lot of pain that day. They didn't "give me away." We skipped that whole question/response. I just wanted to walk with them as a place of honor that they raised me and were helping me walk to my next step in life with my now husband. My SIL and her wife are planning to walk in together because they are "doing this thing together" as they said, which I also like. My husband didn't want to walk down the aisle at all lol.
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Devoted January 2022
Natalie · on September 13, 2020 at 5:40 PM
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I would walk with the closest available family or friend, if you don't want to walk alone or with your fiance.
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Devoted September 2020
Marabeth · on September 13, 2020 at 5:42 PM
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Could your mom walk you down the aisle?

My teenage sons are walking me down the aisle when I mentioned to my 13 year old the other day about the pastor asking “who gives this woman to this man?”, my son said “Haven’t I already given you away to Vlad though?”
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on September 13, 2020 at 5:44 PM
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Yes what about your mom or another close family member if you don’t walk to walk by yourself?
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Master October 2022
Jana · on September 13, 2020 at 6:04 PM
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That's definitely a possibility. My parents aren't invited and they're not supportive in general.
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Master August 2021
Jasmine · on September 13, 2020 at 6:44 PM
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My brother's dad will be walking me down the aisle. I dont think it would be strange if you and your fiance walk down together. I've never heard or seen anyone do it before but I still think it's a sweet idea. Especially if you have no one else you can think of that you would want you to have walk you.
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VIP May 2020
Jai · on September 13, 2020 at 7:09 PM
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My husband and I walked down together
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 13, 2020 at 7:12 PM
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I walked myself because I viewed it as my journey to my husband on my own
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on September 13, 2020 at 8:32 PM
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Is there an important female in your life? There is nothing wrong with having a woman walk with you instead of a man.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on September 13, 2020 at 8:53 PM
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I don't think it would be strange.
I will not be walking down an aisle at all. Hypothetically, if I had to... I would walk down by myself or with my mom. My dad and I are not close at all and I haven't seen him for an extended period of time (more than 24 hours) since I was 18.
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VIP August 2020
· on September 13, 2020 at 9:09 PM
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I feel like if you're doing something just because it's traditional, you should put some thought into why it's a tradition, but it's fine to do traditional-esque things for non-traditional reasons. You want to walk down the aisle with someone because you'll feel more comfortable walking with someone than you would be walking alone.

Anyone you're close to can walk with you down the aisle. If you're having a bridal party, you can walk in with them. If not, but you have a close friend (it doesn't have to be a male friend/relative) you can walk in with them.
It's also totally fine to walk in with your fiancé if you want to.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on September 13, 2020 at 10:00 PM
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The first time I got married my Patron of honor who is my BFF walked me down. I was going to do by myself this time but...when I was picturing myself doing it I thought no way. I asked him again. More of supporting than giving away.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on September 13, 2020 at 10:29 PM
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Yes that makes perfect sense. I definitely would feel more comfortable with a shoulder to lean on as needed than to not have any. I've never been a traditional person so I don't view this particular one the same way that someone else might.

Asking a close friend is a great idea. I hadn't considered that.
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Savvy November 2021
Becca · on September 13, 2020 at 10:31 PM
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My dad passed away and so I want my mom to walk me down the aisle because she's such an important part of my life and the whole event wouldn't be possible without her. I'm looking forward to her accompanying me in the last part of my single life and into a new chapter. At first I thought it should also be a man so I thought about one of my uncles or my cousins, but I'm super untraditional and I feel like feeling like you have to have a man there with you is super patriarchal. So I say do whatever you damn please, it's a really crazy moment and have whoever there you think will support you most
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Savvy September 2020
Sammy · on September 13, 2020 at 11:45 PM
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I just had our backyard family only wedding yesterday and I walked myself down the aisle. My father is deceased so I was actually going to ask my big brother if he would walk me down, but then I didn’t get a chance to speak with him before the ceremony and he was already seated. This is going to sound horrible but you know people are all eyes on the bride anyway, so I think it’s okay to be the focal point on your walk in.
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on September 14, 2020 at 8:56 AM
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Just throwing this out there, because I've seen the idea mentioned on some other threads/forums. What if you walked by yourself for the first half of the aisle, and then your future spouse met you halfway down the aisle, and you walked together for the second half? Also love the idea of a close female friend/family member walking you down!
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Dedicated January 2021
Lorraine · on September 14, 2020 at 9:33 AM
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My FW and I are walking each other down the aisle. We already live together/have a life together so we want to be considered a team.
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Expert November 2020
Shirley · on September 14, 2020 at 9:51 AM
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My dad will be walking me down the aisle, not because he and FH are trading me, but because my dad is the most important man in my life and that will change on my wedding day. FH is now really the one I call if I need anything, but I know that if something terrible really happened, my dad would be the one taking responsibility -- being married, that will then fall to my FH. But I also have a wonderful relationship with my dad, he has been my biggest supporter and my protecter all my life, and he will really be giving up that role to FH on my wedding day.
I think you should walk down with the person who is your rock. Maybe that's your mother, your best friend, a sibling, or your dad. I wouldn't worry about what people think, who cares? It's your wedding, all that matters is what it means to you.
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