Who to walk me down the aisle?

Do what YOU want. Just choose what makes you happy.

It's not up to me, but if I were in your shoes it would be completely obvious whom to ask. One parent has been there for you throughout your life and the other hasn't chosen to be a parent to you at all. I wouldn't even consider asking my father if I were you.

Do what makes YOU happy. If an adult throws a tantrum that is on them not you. Your mom has been there for you and your father hasn't. Just because social norms dictate he gives you away doesn't mean it's an automatic privilege for him. If you want to avoid all drama walk yourself down the aisle. Meet your parents at the front and give a quick hug and kiss before walking over to your FH.

Definitely have your mom do it. My FFIL that is also my officiant said I can't have a woman walk me so I'm having my grandpa walk me.

@MelissaP how are you letting your officiant dictate who walks you down the aisle? That's your choice

OP choose whoever your heart desires. Don't let your father's tantrum make you change your mind on your initial choice. If you want to walk with the person that supported you then do that. However, if you truly feel you want to walk with your dad bc it's what YOU want to do then do that. But let whatever you do be because it's what you want....not to appease anyone else.

@MelissaP, that statement from your FFIL sounds incredibly sexist! You can have anyone walk you down the aisle.

OP absolutely have your Mom if you want. Your father will have to get over it and start acting like an adult.

As a girl with an MIA dad as well, I say your mom all the way. Who cares what he thinks, honestly. Your mom has worked hard and filled his role all your life and totally deserves the chance to give you away, IMO.

I'm struggling with something similar as well, I hate when people are upset with me. Ultimately I'm choosing my mom because she's always been there for me. It's an honor to walk someone down the aisle

You have to do what you believe is the right choice for you.

If it were me in your situation, my mom would be walking me down the aisle.

Do what makes you happy! My mom raised me alone and she is walking me down the aisle no matter who gets upset or throws a tantrum, it's just her no matter what.

Have your mom walk you

My mom is walking me. If that's who you truly want, then you should go with her.

If he wasn't actively in your life, have your mom walk you down the aisle. I don't understand why absentee father's somehow think it's their right.

Both my parents walked with me. If either/both of them couldn't have, I would have asked my grandmother and/or sister. You don't have to have a male relative walk down the aisle with you. It always irks me that some brides stress-out trying to find or decide on some man to do this. It goes back to the archaic/sexist tradition that women were some type of property, to be escorted and handed-off to her husband.

Edit: "Just because social norms dictate he gives you away" - NO! just No! I've been singing at weddings for 15 years and that is not the norm. In fact, in the first wedding I sang - 2002 - the bride walked with both her parents, in a Catholic church.

I'm planning on having my Mom walk me down the aisle. My dad is still alive, but he is a toxic person and we are not speaking right now. He's an alcoholic and compulsive liar. He cheated on my Mom with many women during their marriage. My Mom has always been my rock. She's the one that raised me, encourage me, supported me, not my Dad. I love my Dad, but I feel that the honor of giving me away at my wedding goes to my Mom.

I'm in the same boat as you. And as upset as he is my mom was the one that was there and I can't forget that. If you feel in your heart your mom should be walking you down the aisle than everyone should accept it weather they agree or not. It's your day go with your heart!

Hello, I have a similar situation. My father was not around at all when I was a child but is now here and there try to make up fir lost time. I made the decision to have my Mother and Grandmother walk me down the aisle. My mother is the one who earned it, worked hard and never turned her back on me. Same with my grandmother and grandfather. They pick up his slack when he left. If my grandfather was still alive I would have him walk me. Sometime just because his title is dad doesn't mean he earned it. With all do respect sounds to me he could of tried a little harder after getting out to get closer to you and thay job rightfully belongs to your mom if that is what you want and makes you happy. At the end of the day it us your and your fiancé's wedding and you are not planning a wedding for everyone else. I hope this advise helps and you have a wonderful wedding!

Thank you all!! I feel much better about the situation now. I'm so bad at letting people dictate my decisions so I think it's time to really step up. I just never understood why someone who was never really apart of my life would get to give me away. And I already said we would do the father daughter dance so he still gets included.

I think you should tell your dad that you would love to have him there, but your mother was the one you want by your side.

I'm right there with you about not wanting to cause issues, but this is your day. I too am learning how to stand up for my self.