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Just Said Yes July 2021

Who to invite?

Julia, on May 23, 2019 at 10:49 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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While I was in college, my parents went through a really messy divorce. Dad and Mom don't talk at all and my dad left to marry his mistress. I now have a good relationship with my parents and even my step mom and they are all invited to the wedding and can be civil with each other. However, I am having trouble with whether or not to invite my godmother and godfather and their kids to my wedding. My godmother was my mother's best friend. She sided with my father in the divorce. I feel like this is the ultimate betrayal, even beyond my father leaving my mother. I also don't like the way my godmother has treated my younger sister and she's even said some slightly weird things to me (example: telling me I look so much like my mother while at my father's rehearsal dinner for his second marriage. Time and place, man.) I'm really struggling with whether to invite my godmother and her family due to her behavior since the divorce. I was really close with my godmother and godfather and their family before the whole divorce happened. Now, I'm really struggling because she has not respected boundaries, especially with my mother, as my godmother keeps reaching out to try to meet up with my mom. Obviously, I don't know the whole story but I'm really really conflicted. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by AnnaG, on May 23, 2019 at 5:15 PM

VIP October 2020
Kelly · on May 23, 2019 at 11:03 AM
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If she's known to cause problems I'd skip inviting her.
You could also have a conversation with your mother about what she thinks
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 23, 2019 at 11:09 AM
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Yeah. This exactly.
She sounds like trouble.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on May 23, 2019 at 11:44 AM
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It sounds like she may be trying to make up with your mom, maybe repair the friendship. But that is really between them. I think the best thing would be to talk with your mom about it, get her opinion. Make sure you are sensitive to her feelings. If she is going to be horribly uncomfortable with your godparents there, because of the damage done to their relationship, then it's worth considering not inviting them. You don't want to hurt your mom, who has already been through an ordeal. But if your mom is ok with it, then you can think hard about how you feel about seeing them, having them there.
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Dedicated October 2019
Jeana · on May 23, 2019 at 11:48 AM
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I wouldn’t invite her. She sounds like a terrible friend and will just make things uncomfortable. You don’t want to have to worry about what inappropriate thing she’ll be doing on your wedding day.
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Dedicated August 2018
Sarah Katreen · on May 23, 2019 at 1:55 PM
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I would definitely talk to your mom about it to hear her thoughts. At the same time, think about the relationship you have had with her since the divorce. Has it been positive and nurturing? Did it stop once she took sides with your dad and you don't like to see her anymore? If you wouldn't want to get together with her for fun and it makes you uncomfortable, then I would not invite her to your wedding.
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Dedicated February 2019
AnnaG · on May 23, 2019 at 5:15 PM
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I agree with others. If she is going to make you and your mom uncomfortable, then I wouldn't invite her. Unfortunately she kind of blew that relationship and its her own fault. If things evolve with them and your mom & her get close again, maybe you could keep her on there tentatively number-wise and invite if you feel like things are good enough to do so when its time to send invitations out.
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