Who to invite?

Ultimately it’s up to you and your fiancé. If it were me, I would not allow my sister to invite friends that I do not know. If your parents have requested invites for their friends, maybe agree to give them a limited number (6 spots, 3 couples for example). If you don’t want your family there you do not invite them. Again, it’s completely up to you and FS. I think it’s easier to set firm boundaries (ex: aunts/uncles but no cousins or no children) but it’s your guest list.

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I completely agree. But everyone is telling me to let my sister invite a couple of people and let my parents invite some people of their choice. It's quite frustrating.

View Quoted Comment Well sisters generally never get invites to give away even for a large wedding so just say no. As far as your parents, since it is their house, can you agree to a limited number of specific people they can invite? Friends of theirs that you like? If not you may have to find a new venue unfortunately.

Before deciding if others are able to invite guests, you and FH need to determine your guest list to see how many people you have. Because your parents are holding the wedding at their house, it will be difficult to tell them they cannot invite a few guests. The same if they agree that your sister can invite friends, aunts/uncles, etc. If you want complete control of the guest list, you will need to pay for a venue, as any time money or services are given towards someone’s wedding, there are typically strings attached.

If you want an intimate wedding, don’t allow your guests to invite others. This isn’t a family reunion picnic. You decide who you want to invite whom you cannot imagine the day without and you don’t invite anyone out of obligation to please others. They can get together with friends/family at another time.

Make a list of the people you would ABSOLUTELY want at your wedding - see what your number is. From there, you can see if you can accommodate/extend an invitation to a few of your sister/parents friends. But, if you are at your number limit, then, I would apologize to my sister/parents and let them know that it just can't happen.

Unfortunately, you have to be brutally honest with people during planning a wedding - and, sometimes, people are going to get upset with you. It is what it is!

Everyone handles family differently so I can only tell you my own experience. My parents asked to invite 6 people when they offered to pay for our wedding. We had already decided not to invite aunts, uncles, or cousins but my mom wanted her siblings to be able to attend. My FH and I discussed if we would be okay making an exception to our previous decision for those specific 6 people and decided yes. If my parents had just asked for 6 invitations to give out at their discretion then we probably would have said no.



I have never heard of a sibling asking for extra invites. My thoughts are to say no to your sister but be open to negotiating with your parents, keeping in mind your currently planned guest list and how much room you have left on it.

You and fiancé make a list of those you can’t imagine the day without. Only invite those people. People who invited out of obligation to please others don’t belong on the list. Especially when some people don’t even invite their best friends who they are closer to than their own relatives.