Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes April 2022

Who to invite to small wedding-toxic family members

mad-san, on June 21, 2021 at 1:45 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi everyone, my fiancé and I are planning a new wedding after a very difficult year. Our April 2020 wedding was cancelled due to covid, shortly after this he became very sick and was very sick for quite awhile, so we just cancelled the wedding and waited to plan something new. Prior to our original wedding, I knew his family was a bit dysfunctional but I was (or thought I was) close to them. His illness has brought out a very ugly side of them, he only has siblings, no parents, and some of them have become extremely mean and controlling, basically blaming me for his illness. He has stopped talking to them as a result. Several of them were supposed to be involved in our original wedding, now he does not even want to invite them. Problem is I would still like to have at least my parents and siblings there. Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before? Can I invite some of my family members, or do we have to just elope entirely? Can we invite them and fire them from their previous roles in the ceremony? I don't want to let them ruin the day for us and and my loved ones, and I honestly don't really want them there, but I don't want my fiancé to get bunch of grief over it. We just want to have a peaceful, beautiful day with none of the drama our original wedding seemed to be full of.

Flag
Hide content

7 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on June 23, 2021 at 4:47 PM

Super October 2022
AJ · on June 21, 2021 at 1:49 PM
Flag

Hide content
You can have whoever you want at your wedding, if you want something small with the people who are most supportive of you ad your FH that sounds perfect. Its perfectly reasonable to not invite toxic people to your wedding. My FH has a toxic half brother we will not be inviting, we are getting a lot of pushback from his mom and his grandparents - but at the end of the day its our wedding, we are paying for it - we will be inviting who we want and if they chose not to come because of it, that is on them - not us.
- Reply
Super May 2021
Stacey · on June 21, 2021 at 2:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'm not following why your parents and siblings would not be allowed to attend?
- Reply
Savvy October 2022
Aleann · on June 21, 2021 at 2:22 PM
Flag

Hide content
Oh that’s something I wish you weren’t going through. it is your wedding, you are the bride and you set all the rules and boundaries. don’t let the idea of them giving you grief over it since it seems they are pros at giving you a hard time as it is. invite your family, invite your friends and his. as tough as it may seem, not inviting the toxic people to your wedding will be such a blessing. as a bride you deserve happiness, laughter and pure love. cheers to a beautiful wedding I hope for you to have ✨ remember, this is your day and nobody else’s.
- Reply
Champion December 2022
Michelle · on June 21, 2021 at 2:40 PM
Flag

Hide content
Only invite the ones you want to be in attendance and go no contact with the toxic ones so they aren’t even a consideration.
- Reply
VIP January 2019
Maggie · on June 21, 2021 at 4:01 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

This is my confusion as well. I understand why your future spouse doesn't want to invite his siblings, and I would definitely let him make that final decision. But him not having living parents and inviting his siblings has nothing to do with your parents and siblings.
- Reply
Just Said Yes April 2022
mad-san · on June 22, 2021 at 3:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
Thanks so much everyone! It is a tough situation and sometimes I think it is easier to just invite them, but you are all right that especially at a smaller wedding we only want to be surrounded by people who support us.
- Reply

Master May 2020
Kari · on June 23, 2021 at 4:47 PM
Flag

Hide content
Invite who you want to share the moment with and celebrate with.
You can invite your family and not his.
He can have groomsmen and you no bridesmaids.
Sides do not need to be "even" as long as you are both happy.
Invite people who will support you, who will celebrate you, and who will make you feel loved. Do not include people who are going to bring drama, no matter what relationship they have to either of you. Particularly if you are having a small wedding, one or two rotten guests will have more of an impact than if they were hidden amongst hundreds of happy party-goers.
- Reply