Who should get invited? And what amount is not enough?

You do not invite people to your wedding based on what they contribute to your wedding. You invite them because you want to share the special day with them. It's no one else's responsibility to pay for your wedding except you. If someone offers, great. But to hold invites because someone isnt contributing "enough" is frankly disgusting.
I'd honestly hold off on planning anything at this point, cause IMO, this is a huge red flag.

I agree with above, you invite people you want to come, not who can give you something in return.

That being said, 2500 for photography is a lot for someone to contribute and I would only accept from family who should be invited anyone since they are your family, not because they contribute anything. If you just invite those who contribute to the wedding it will end up being less than 10 people...

Your guests you invite will likely get you a gift, but not necessarily the contribution your fiance is discussing here

You shouldn’t invite anyone based on their contributions. Whether it’s toward the actual wedding or a gift. We invited 135 guests, not a single one of them contributed a single dollar toward the cost of our wedding and we would never expect them to. By your logic, if you’re only inviting those who are paying, it sounds like you and your FH will be getting married alone. $2500 is a significant amount of money and photography, to most, is a necessity.

If you’re paying for the wedding yourselves wouldn’t that mean that you would be the only people in attendance by his standards?

Is his family pitching in anything? Why is he saying that people from YOUR side of the family should be not invited because they're not contributing? Is he holding his own family to the same standard? This is completely asinine. First that he expects your family to get cut from the list, and second that you're basing your guest list off of who is paying. Third that you're wondering if a $2500 contribution for photography is enough to warrant an invite. You're hosting a wedding, not a charity gala.

I am sorry to be harsh, but if I interpreted your post correctly, your fiance is throwing a huge red flag and you seem to be going along with him blindly.

View Quoted Comment All of this.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this.

I could be really snarky, but I'm just going to agree with everyone above:
What your fiance is saying is a MASSIVE red flag, it smacks of control and future abusive behavior.
If we invited people based on what they could contribute, you'd never invite anyone anywhere.

If I only invited people that contributed, it would’ve been just 👰,🤵 and my 92 yo 👵.

And 🤵would’ve only been invited to the ceremony.

What everyone else said. If we had only invited people based on financial contribution, we would have gotten married without any guests.

That is WRONG and ridiculous.

So, you don’t invite people over for dinner or is it always 🥘🍀style❓

So are his side also not invited since you’re paying for the wedding yourself? I have to agree this is a massive, glaring red flag for controlling/abusive tendencies on his part.

Agreed with everyone. You invite people to your wedding based on what they mean to you not what they can contribute. Contributing $2500 is an investment, regardless of what percentage of your overall budget that covers. Is his family contributing at all? Does he think your family should only get invited if they pay for it because he's sticking to some outdated tradition where the bride's parents pay for everything? Historically marriage was just the process of transferring a women from being the property of her father to being the property of her husband, so I'd have some serious value conflicts with a mate who was stuck on that notion.

If you have a huge family and you want all of these extended family members who he has never met to attend and his number of family invites are small by comparison, I can understand him wanted to put a limit on the number of guests coming from your side vs his side to keep costs down and to keep guests limited to people that are close to you as a couple. I can also understand if he doesn't feel your parents should invite all their relatives if you personally aren't close with them, especially if your parents aren't paying for "their" guests to be there. But if he's saying you should omit your whole family because they aren't chipping in then I'd have some real concerns.

Wait, what?

I am quite shocked that this is even a question. No you do NOT invite people to your special day because they gave you money. Also if someone offered me $2500 to pay for something even if it was $20 I would gladly accept it and thank them for helping. The wedding is for you and your future spouse so technically no one should be giving you money or pay for a wedding you want. Your parents/ family already paid thousands and thousands of dollars to raise you guys so isn’t that “payment” enough?!

I wish you guys the best but I would do some thinking and counseling before getting married. You might lose al your family and friends if you think they are required to financially help you in life.

It's not about who pays for what. If you are paying for it yourselves what your family does or doesn't pay for is irrelevant. It's not about money, it's about family.

I don't think it matter who is paying. I say you guys decide on the number of people you want to invite and then he gets half and you get half.

If you are paying for the wedding yourselves is he not inviting his family? This isn’t tit for tat. If you want a wedding, you have to expect to pay for it. No one should be invited based on a contribution that’s not their responsibility. Figure out your budget, get a venue, and then make cuts or adds on your guest list based on what your budget allows. I don’t want to offend you, but him saying not to invite your family because they aren’t contributing would be a red flag for me.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this 10,000%. That is really appalling that your FH would imply that. What is his family paying for if that is his reasoning? You are paying for it yourselves!

This is an enormous red flag to me. It sounds like he is trying to isolate you from your family which is a tactic used by emotional abusers. Please go to premarital counseling with a licensed family therapist before you marry him. I sincerely wish you well.