Who should buy the bridesmaid pajamas?

View Quoted Comment Completely agree! Literally all the items you just listed are optional. Just because a significant amount of couples CHOOSE to have those things at their weddings, doesn’t mean they are requirements. Anything a couple chooses to have at their celebrations should be paid for by the couple. Their wedding parties are honored guests- not a crowd funding opportunity.

View Quoted Comment

I really dislike the new trend of using the amount that a couple is choosing to spend on photography for their own wedding as a tool to bully their loved ones into spending more than they can afford/getting a spray tan/covering up a tattoo/dyeing hair/losing weight/whatever unreasonable demand driven by aesthetics.

Photos are nice keepsakes to have and, yes, good photography is expensive. But most of the photos that end up getting purchased and displayed will be of the couple, which works out well because the couple have complete control over how they look on their wedding day. But using the excuse of photography to try to make something as inconsequential as matching pajamas essential to wedding day happiness is disingenuous.

The general rule is:
If you require it, you will pay for it.

Matching pjs are not a necessity, so if you want them, you’ll have to front that cost.

View Quoted Comment

It's 100% not a requirement by any means. If you want them as a bride, you pay for them. Just like if you want specific dresses or shoes as a bride you pay. I didn't require anything specific, just a color, so I didn't pay for their outfits and let them get whatever they were comfortable in. I paid for jewelry and hair and makeup.
Not to mention depending on the timeline a photographer might not even be there for most of the getting ready. Of my pictures with my bridesmaids very few were of us actually in the suite. Most were of me in there and the ones I do have with them we're already dressed. Our photographer was there from 11-9 and we were already mostly done with our hair/makeup anyway and were close to getting dressed. There's no reason we need to expect our friends and family to throw out all kinds of money for us because they're in our wedding party.

Weddings are expensive but so is being a bridesmaid. If you can't swing the cost of the getting ready outfits in your budget I would just not do them. Maybe instead of pajamas you can ask everyone to wear black leggings they already own and then you can buy cute matching inexpensive zip down sweatshirts or button downs. Still makes a fun pic and would probably be cheaper for you. Happy planning!

I don't think so. I personally am in a position that I am covering all of my girl's expenses, but that is just where I am at. I think that if you give them enough of a heads up they will be fine with it.

It would be a faux pas to ask your friends to buy things in order for your wedding photos to be what you want. Your friends aren't props.

View Quoted Comment

I disagree with this entirely. You don't get to tell people to buy things to be in your bridal photos. The bridesmaids pay for their dresses. That's it. If you're requiring shoes and professional HMU you need to pay for it. That's why we say that large wedding parties will be more money. I would be careful with your expectations, you're mentally spending other people's money.

There are special pajamas?! You're kidding! Just when I think I've researched everything about weddings...

I said it's ok if the bridesmaids want to buy their own getting-ready attire but then again, it's not required. Like the others have said it's just a photo prop. I for one will not be asking my ladies to buy their own, getting-ready outfits. I already have them picked out and I will be paying for them myself.

View Quoted Comment

I agree. It is better to pivot the idea of matching pajamas. I personally wouldn't ask my bridesmaids to pay for such things.