Who pays for what? Bachelorette party

Typically the BMs and guests pay for the bride and the guests pay for themselves. I've never been to a bachelorette where the MOH pays for everything. That'd be crazy!

Normally people pay for their own share plus contribute a portion to cover the bride's expenses. It is not up to her to pay for everyone. She should first consult with the potential guests about their budget before planning the activities. I would never spend $300 for anyone's bachelorette.

If she plans something that people can't afford they will either decline right away or cancel at the last minute leaving her stuck with non refundable costs.

Ok! Thank you! She wasn't sure and there would be no way where she could afford that lol. But she didn't want to ask everyone and it come off as rude.

Every one I’ve been to, we all chipped in for the bride.

She can't plan anything until she talks to all those she wants to help pay. She has to ask them individually, in private, how much they want to spend. Most people are not going to spend $300 per person, FYI. Your MOH is ahead of herself.

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She's just throwing out ideas, it's not like it's set in stone yet. She wasn't sure about the paying part so nothing official yet. I'm glad that "most people" wouldn't pay $300, but that doesn't mean mine won't. Thanks for the advice though.

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Thanks for the advice. Nothing is set in stone yet, she's just throwing out ideas. She wasn't sure about the paying part which is why nothing is booked yet. This is her first wedding so she's learning as she goes, which I'm proud of her for what she's taking on. I'm glad you personally would never spend $300, but that doesn't mean mine won't. Thanks again for the advice.

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Awesome, thanks!

View Quoted Comment She shouldn't even mention the $300 until she asks them for their own budget. That's the point.

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Agreed. She should first ask them their budget without throwing out any numbers so as to not put any undue pressure on them to agree to a certain number. A person may be willing to say "Yes, I can pay $300" when asked, but in reality they were really thinking, "I can only afford to pay $100, but I don't want to come off as cheap, especially if the other BMs are paying $300." Once she gets an honest assessment of everyone's budget, then come up with ideas based on that number.

MoH can plan the theme and maybe make up games to keep the bride occupied. There is no monetary commitment though as an MoH, you can pay for whatever youre comfortable paying.

It is paid for by whoever chooses to host it. So she can either pay for it herself, or talk to your BMs and ask if they are willing to pay that much to co-host.

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Oh my goodness. You guys are missing the point here. The money option is anywhere from $100-$300. I never said it was for sure $300, nothing is set in stone, so hop off that. By the way, that was never even my question "If $300 was too much money". My question was "Who pays for what?"

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You are missing the point. There should not be a money option in any range, whether from $100-$300, until everyone's budget is consulted. Perhaps their budget is only $50 per person (or less). The point is for her to ask first then decide what the options will be.

Your comment was unnecessarily rude and is a violation of the CGs so it is being flagged. Please review those guidelines. You cannot tell anyone how to post or what to comment on and anything you provide in your post may be commented on. This forum is to provide you etiquette and advice which is what I and the other PPs provided.

View Quoted Comment So first of all, everyone answered your question. BMs and friends typically pitch in for their share and split the brides cost. Everyone is just trying to warn you that your MOH can’t just go ask people for money or tell them it’s going to be $100 and then ask for $300. I think everyone is just trying to point out that you should make sure your MOH asks for budgets first and then gives them the range. How would you two feel if she told everyone the range first and all of your friends declined because it was too expensive? Where I currently live and where I’m originally from, a good spa day costs anywhere between $100-200 per person so it’s not ridiculous to think your think day will land on the high end of that range, especially if you’re doing activities afterwards.

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My MOH never said it was set in stone, she never gave the BM a total of the the day could cost because she didn't know if she should pay for everything of it they pitch in. She was just throwing out numbers to me, saying it could cost that. She wasn't sure on anything yet. After I asked this question I told her and she's currently talking to the BMs of the budget they can afford and picking places within everyone's budget. I'm sorry everyone got the wrong idea that it's 100% going to cost $300 but it's not. She was just throwing out numbers to me.

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I'm so sorry that you felt offended by my comment, but I didn't think it was rude. My MOH never said the total was set in stone, she never gave the BMs a total of the the day could cost because she didn't know if she should pay for everything of it they pitch in. She was just throwing out numbers to me, saying it could cost that. She wasn't sure on anything yet. After I asked this question I told her and she's currently talking to the BMs of the budget they can afford and picking places within everyone's budget. I'm sorry everyone got the wrong idea that it's 100% going to cost $300 but it's not. She was just throwing out numbers to me.

View Quoted Comment You’re missing the point. Literally all everyone was saying was to make sure your MOH asked their budget before she demanded money from them. It’s hard to give answers over the internet so people probably wanted to clarify that even though it’s typical for BMs and friends all pitch in but that doesn’t mean she should immediately go tell them how much it costs before checking their budget.

If you received all answers that said, “friends and BMs pitch in for everything,” and you took that literally and your MOH went around telling everyone they owed her $XXX for the bachelorette party, you’d be here on next week asking, “help! My friends won’t pitch in for my bachelorette party even though they told MOH they would forever ago!!!” Everyone was just trying to be clear on what they meant. It wouldn’t have mattered if the bachelorette was going to be $50 pp or $500 pp. It sounds like she’s doing just that so good on you guys.