Who Is Not Inviting In Laws

I think if I were in the situation I would still invite them for the sake that no parent wants to miss their child's wedding. My FILs are hosting the wedding so I can't exactly not invite them LOL hope this helps a little

If your fiance talks to them then yes they should be invited. I guess we need more background for why you guys don't talk?

ETA- my in-laws don't speak to us, and we invited them, and they did in fact choose to not attend their child's wedding ^^

I would say tread lightly here and your DF needs to be prepared that if FIL's aren't invited they may disown him. However, from what you say, they would be a toxic presence and I personally would not invite them. It doesn't sound like they are supportive of the marriage or even your relationship. Would you want someone you don't want around your children to be around everyone else you love, other family members, friends etc?

Also, your wedding is 2 years away, invites don't go out until a month until the wedding, so you've still got some time depending on how dynamics continue the next year and 10 months. Does your FH want to invite them?

My parents aren't invited/coming (so no in-laws for FH) but that's because they're shitty people. FH told me that it was my decision to make since they're my family, and that he'd support that decision. Regardless of your relationship, or lack thereof, with the in laws, they are still his parents. Therefor the decision is ultimately his to make.

He should be the one to make that decision but, not speaking to your FH's parents for 5 years and them not having a relationship with their grandchildren is really big. Is there more to why they don't have a relationship with the kids?

Yes my DF wants his parents to be invited. I mean I suppose. We discussed it and I don't say to him I don't want them there. I am a mother myself with 2 boys and definitely would love to see my boys get married. It's a long story to why we don't talk. Mostly it's because of FSIL and she defends her and all and I just couldn't deal with arguing every time we saw each other. " Oh you doing this wrong" Oh you need to do this" or getting mad cause I didn't agree with their suggestion on parenting. Wasn't healthy for me to stressed, argued with my DF and it then started to affect ODS. So I told DF that I can't be surrounding myself with people who I am constantly arguing with. My DF never did anything to diffuse the situation. Still to this day he doesn't. He wants his parents involved with us but I suggest that he needs to set boundaries with his parents. He can't allow them to disrespect me and I would feel like I am ganged up and he would leave me drowning. His defense he don't want to be monkey in the middle. So to stop the arguing with us I told him I preferred them to distant themselves from me and our son. Since 5 years we don't argued like before. Our relationship got better. I now can say I see a future with us. With me arguing with them 5 years straight I didn't saw us together. I was ready to walk away from him for my own sake of sanity.

I think if your fiancé wants his parents at his wedding then you need to invite his parents. There will be enough going on and enough other people around to set some physical distance between yourself and them.

I am not inviting my dad to my wedding. He is a horrible father and still thinking that I'm grown with two kids he would change. Nope still the same. I don't think he deserve the role of giving me away or father/daughter dance since he was always in and out of my life. I don't need to explained to him since we don't keep in contact. Last time I saw him was July for my uncle's funeral and before that a year.

I figure I would be busy to even notice their presence.

You can't override him when it comes to his own parents. If he wants them there, you should probably invite them.

It would be different if you two were on the same page and both agreed that he also doesn't want his parents present. Is it annoying? Yes.

I'm not override it of course not. It definitely would feel weird having them around me since we have no contact at all. I don't press on the issue and last time he said from here to then he would consider how he feels but since it's not near he doesn't have much of feelings right now. He's not much worried if disowning since he's been with me it's not like he ask for anything or nor he expect anything from them. He only keeps in contact through phone calls.

You said yourself you could "see a future with us" and if you don't invite them to the wedding that'll probably make things impossible. It seems like they were offering unsolicited advice and sticking up for their daughter in conversations.

Personally I don't think this is reason for you not to invite them, and I doubt they'll be any reason for them to bring up your parenting or your FSIL at the wedding so I think it's safe to invite them. I'm all for not inviting toxic people, but it seems as though this is a case of conflicting opinions and your FH who's stuck in the middle. It sounds like it was impacting your relationship with FH too much so that's why communication ended, versus them being so crappy, like your dad, who shouldn't get invited.

Hope this makes sense, but obviously the only people in the end who's opinion matters are yours and FH!

You're totally right. It's all about conflicting opinions that got escalated. I tried my best but there is just an extent that I can go and I definitely won't tolerate any BS. That's what mostly the problem came from. Expecting me to be disrespected and not do or say anything. So they don't like that I defend myself.

Not sure how many people you are planning on having at your wedding, but if it is more than 50 people, you will most likely be so busy greeting other guests that you won't spend much time with your in-laws at all. I would recommend inviting them, for your husband's sake.

We didn't invite my father or my brother and I have no regrets.

Invite parents. You probably will not even have a chance to pay them any mind.

We didn’t invite my hubbys parents and we have no regrets . If you New what he went through financially with them taking adavantage what is considered identity theft then you would understand . It wasn’t just that either they had no empathy for him at all when he found out and confronted him . When he defended himself they cut him off like emotional abuse . So we weren’t on good terms and weren’t speaking to them .Before we found out about the identity theft there were text messages from an app number trying to break us up . Then there was a fake social media profile again terrible messages trying to break us up . I know if we had invited them we would have been divorced the first year the boundary had to be made . When they found out they weren’t invited they called and apologized finally but still had excuses why they did what they did and lame ones . Then his mother told him to cancel the wedding . Still Tried to stop the wedding after all that was done to us . Now we have reconciled but I still don’t trust them and we have no regrets . I definitely don’t especially by being around them now I know we’d have no respect at all from them if we hadn’t did it that way .