Who is invited to a bridal shower?

I would say you invite family and friends invited to the wedding who you are closest to.

Shower guests are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. When you think of it, you are asking them to come to another party celebrating you and bringing you another gift.

The first thing I would do is ask the MOH how many people she would like to host. Make sure she knows that you are happy with light refreshments in someone's home. You don't need a catered lunch at a venue.

When you know the number of guests, start with your immediate family, bridal party, groom's family (ask his Mom for suggestions), your close friends and that will probably be enough.

If the groom's Mom wants a large guest list, tell her that you's really like to keep it small for your MOH and she is welcome to host something for her side of the family. There is nothing wrong with having more than one shower as long as the guest lists don't overlap. Bridal party and Moms are the exception. They are usually invited to all showers (other than workplace), but are not expected to bring a gift each time.

ps no kids- sometimes a Mom will bring a nursing baby, but these are not fun for kids.

Thank you so much for your help! @muriel - That really helped me! Thank you!

Do you invite people out of state?

I invited aunts on both side, my bridesmaids, and a few other close friends. I didn't invite anyone out of state except one of my BM. I also did no kids. I didn't want them running around, messing with the presents or being disruptive.

I invited family and a few close friends. I think the only "kids" will be my 2 teen cousins, but we are really close so I am happy for them to be there. We didn't say no kids, and I don't mind if they bring them.

Whoever you're closest to. We attend a small church and are friends with everyone, so I put everyone at church on my list, plus my closest school friends. I also put the far-away female family members on the list, not expecting them to come, but just so they could see the invites. We don't have any local family.

My FMIL told me that every woman who is invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower!! LOL for life to my FMIL!!!!

The list I gave my sister for my shower is close friends and family.

I agree with muriel. I don't get the multiple shower, every single woman invited to the wedding thing.

I noticed on WW showers are more small and intimate than they are in my circle. They are usually catered events at venues for us and mine will be the same. We invited the women from our wedding guestlist that I have a personal relationship with from my and FH side of the family in addition to all of female my friends.

I didn't have a say... all the women in the wedding were invited. About 40 ended up coming and it was in a huge room so to me it didn't look crowded. All the family weddings I've been to recently have had all the women of the wedding at the shower also, so I'm not sure if it's just FH's family's tradition.

Invite your closest and only those who are in town. Unless they are immediate family, inviting someone out of state is just asking for a gift. We invited over 400 to the wedding and we invited 125 to the shower

I invited all of the females on my guest list that I knew personally. (Not just someone being invited as the SO of someone we know.)

A good way to think about it:

Do you have this person's phone number? Are they family that you see at least once a year? Do you hang out with them at least every few months? Are they invited to parties you throw? These questions may help you evaluate your relationships and who is close enough to be invited.

Thank you everyone for your help! I think I have a pretty good idea of who to invite now.