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Beginner June 2020

Who give me away?

Dalymar, on October 12, 2019 at 7:37 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 7

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Ugh. This topic came back on me again. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to worry about it until like April or May of 2020 to make final decision but now it’s stuck in my mind.
I have three people: each have different story. I’ll explain now—

mom: she was a single mom and she raised me al by herself with no support from my father. And I want to have her give me away cause I feel like it’ll be so special moment for both of us.

step dad: he did so much for me and helped my mom to raise me since I was 7 years old. Brought me to school, sports, clubs, activities and etc. and he said to me today and I quote “I can’t wait to give you away on your wedding day and I know I will cry”. And gave me his cheese smile. And I’d like to have him give me away as well.

Biological dad: this person is like something else. But he may not doing very well to be that kind of father to stay in picture. However I can see that he’s been trying to stay in picture for a year and half. And I’ll like to have him give me away as well cause
A) I don’t want to regret in future that I didn’t let him to give me away
B) he’s the one who gave me a life and a best friend for my mom. So I can’t completely push him out for being part of the wedding.
C) I know he’ll be heartbroken if I didn’t let him give me away and it will get me heartbroken.

so I really don’t know what to do!!!! Advice please!!!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on October 14, 2019 at 10:45 AM

Expert November 2020
Shelby · on October 12, 2019 at 8:14 PM
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I know this will sound weird, but if they all get along just have all 3 walk you down. People will know you have a special place in your heart for all 3 of them. If things happen to change before the actual wedding then you always have the option to change it if you want to. Good luck in whichever option you choose! 😊
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Just Said Yes July 2021
Stephanie · on October 12, 2019 at 8:20 PM
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I'm most likely having both my mom and dad walk me down. My mom is the one who raised me, and my dad came into my life in my late teen years but he helped pull me out of my rock bottom. They're both important to me and I don't really wanna choose just one, so why not? Y'know?
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Expert August 2020
Jodie · on October 12, 2019 at 9:44 PM
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A friend of mine had a similar situation. She had her biological father walk her halfway to honor their relationship when he came back into her life and and her mom and step dad walked her the rest of the way. It was a special moment in their wedding.
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Savvy October 2020
Rosa · on October 12, 2019 at 11:07 PM
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What a tough decision! But I feel for the real dad that you grew up with. If you feel he was a great influence in your life you should have a conversation with him... at least make him walk you down the isle at the rehearsal.
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Savvy June 2022
D Ross · on October 13, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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I had a similar situation. Before I even met anyone I was serious about I didn't know what I would do. Bio dad wasn't there much, but he was supportive and we got along great. I didn't get along great with my step-dad, whom my mom married when I was 15. So I thought I would have my grandfather walk me since he was the one who actually raised me. Unfortunately my father and grandfather have already passed on, and I don't want my stepdad to walk me. So I decided to just walk myself. It's a small wedding anyway. 25 people at most, including entire bridal party.

Could you walk yourself and when the officiant asks "Who give the bride away?", they all stand and say "we do"? Otherwise I like Jodie's idea of half and half. Maybe your mom walks you all the way, while bio dad starts and hands you off to stepdad halfway. That could be very symbolic...
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Devoted August 2018
Kristin · on October 13, 2019 at 6:04 PM
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Maybe have no one walk you, and have your FH meet you half way and walk back with you?

or choose your bio dad if you think it would help him forgive himself and help build a better relationship between you all? No matter who you choose, you may want to think about explaining to the other two.
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on October 14, 2019 at 10:45 AM
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My father passed in 2006. I have an amaaaazing step dad. But I'll be walking alone with a large embellished framed photo of him hanging down from my bouquet. Everyone will see me n my daddy walking down the aisle.
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