Who gets our time before the wedding?

We may run into the same issue, but have a plan just in case. Our rehearsal/welcome dinner will also include FHs out of town family as my FFIL is paying. Our send off breakfast will be with my extended family as my parents are paying.

We had several people ask to spend time with us or have dinner with us the night before our rehearsal. We ended up telling everyone no and going to dinner alone before the chaos of the weekend started.

No, I don't think this is appropriate. I mean, you'll be at a point where you're just trying to make sure all the final details for the wedding are nailed down, and probably the last thing you want to do is appease people who want to suck all your time and attention. Nope. Not happening. I personally feel like by the time we get to the night before the rehearsal, if I'm not running around like a chicken, I'll be exhausted, and will want nothing more strenuous than being a couch potato to happen. So, if you want to come over and watch me doze off in front of the tv, then, yeah, let's get together the night before the rehearsal........NOT!! lol Seriously, though, I would never do this to a bride and groom so close to the wedding. There will be plenty of other opportunities to get together after the wedding.

I honestly didn't have anyone ask me that and I think if you decline that's perfectly understandable knowing that you'd be so busy the days leading up to the wedding

Ha! Thanks all- I needed the reassurance that I wasn’t nuts for thinking she was out of line. We tried suggesting that we would be open to dinner but wouldn’t be willing to exclude other friends/family that were also hoping to visit and I guess she feels she’s not asking much. I’d love to gently remind her that there are nearly 360 other days in the year that would be totally ok, just those last few before the wedding are a little rough!

Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would feel it's ok to demand your time while you are in the final stages of wedding planning, often the most hectic time for a couple. If they would like to offer help as a way to spend time, that may be useful, but obviously is not a requirement. We are scrambling to find time for our families when they get to town since we're not doing a rehearsal and will be setting up the night before, but obviously we don't expect them to feel obligated to help. Everyone that knows us has been pretty understanding that our time is limited until the big day and is simply looking forward to celebrating with us then.

We had 100 out of 125 guests stay in our blocked hotel with us. Most of them stayed Friday & Saturday night for our Saturday wedding. We had a large rehearsal dinner (70 people), hung out at the hotel bar after for 2 hours and printed that on our welcome bag pamphlets & wedding website so guests not at the rehearsal dinner would come down, and did the same for breakfast the following morning. The bar & breakfast weren't hosted, but it was a great time for everyone to mingle and us to see people outside the wedding. We didn't talk to our parents a ton (we see them all the time) but that was fine with them since they spent the whole time mingling with all their friends too. It was a great weekend, basically everything from Thursday dinner - Sunday breakfast, we invited everyone we saw and spent it with larger groups. I think her asking to have dinner "alone" with you guys isn't necessary, she can do that the week before or a few weeks before or after. You'll probably want to include more people in that dinner.

Here was our weekend schedule, it was hectic but it was perfect!

Thursday Night: Bride & Groom arrive and check into blocked hotel. Go to dinner with bride's father, two uncles, aunt, one cousin, one groomsmen, maid of honor & her boyfriend, and one bridesmaid. It was random, just a local mexican restaurant, not scheduled.

Friday Morning: Rehearsal (significant others & kids were invited to this if they wanted to go)

Friday Afternoon: Groom had to go get a belt at the mall nearby. Bride, groom, two bridesmaids, best man, two groomsmen all went together. Again, casual not planned but all were invited.

Friday Evening: Rehearsal dinner with 70 guests, then hotel bar after from 8 PM - 10 PM (longer for some people) with almost all the guests that had checked into the hotel by then.

Saturday: Wedding Day

Sunday: Bride & Groom went down to the lobby, spent time mingling with guests & family & bridesmaids & groomsmen. Took about 2 hours.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Dinner doesn’t bother me. Alone feels like a big overstep. I would SO prefer to do what you described- post up in a bar and let everyone know “this is where we’ll be if you’d like to drop by.”

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I would have your fiance tell her it will be a super busy weekend with a ton of people, so people will probably invite themselves to meals or want to be included. But you'd love to have a dinner with her prior, just maybe a week before or a week after. Yeah the bar thing was great, very casual & a way to include all guests. After our wedding, guests were in the hotel bar until 2 AM so it was definitely a huge bonding weekend for everyone.

I think we will be put into the same position and I am already thinking ahead that I will need to say no. It's just too much and no one wants to be scrambling right before the wedding. Even if you won't be scrambling, you will want those moments of no obligations before rehearsal and wedding.

I'd probably have a bajillion things on my mind 2 days before the wedding and still will be working that whole week so the last thing I'd want to do or have time to do is go to dinner after a work day when there will be wedding things to take care of. I think it's perfectly reasonable to decline.

It is appropriate for parents from out of town to ask for this. If it would be a problem for you, say "no, thank you. " Lots of couples want a restful evening the night before. You may have prep work to do. You may have previously agreed to meet a group of people to have dinner, look at the venue, whatever .

They probably mean well, so I wouldn't think anything of it (but obviously you know them, I do not). I think it's perfectly fine for you to say no, as you're going to need to finish up a few things for the wedding. And even if you're completely done by then, you might just want to spend time with your fiance before the craziness of the next few days.