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Kia9
Super August 2017

Who else never planned on getting married?

Kia9, on March 20, 2017 at 8:26 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 19

Who else out there never thought they would be getting married? I had actively planned to spend my life dating around and moving on when it no longer met my needs - until I met FH and realized I want nothing more than to only have him forever! Anyone else in a similar boat? How has that affected your wedding planning?

19 Comments

Latest activity by Teri, on March 20, 2017 at 3:09 PM
  • Kia9
    Super August 2017
    Kia9 ·
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    As far as planning goes, I think I have a much more laid back attitude about the event. All I want (beyond being Mrs. G) is good food, delicious booze, dancing, and unforgettable times with our closest family and friends. The colors, centerpieces, bouquet, decorations, etc. don't really matter to me.

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  • mrsmack
    VIP April 2017
    mrsmack ·
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    After a bad breakup I went through a period of thinking the same way, and then FH and I started dating and that changed very quickly lol. FH was married once before and vowed to never get married again, and every time I meet an old friend of his they tell me how incredulous they are to hear that he's actually getting married again because he was so insistent that he would never do it again.

    ETA: I was all for eloping to eliminate family drama, but FH's first wedding was J.O.P. and the said that he wants to do this one "the right way" (his words, not mine) and said that if we didn't have an event with our families there I would regret it later, and I hate to admit it but he was right.

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  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·
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    I always thought I'd get married, but NEVER thought I'd have a traditional wedding with a reception. I was certain I'd elope or have the smallest ceremony possible. I think this impacted wedding planning in a positive way, because I never had a "dream wedding" planned in my head. It's made it easier to cut costs and for me to keep a good perspective on what is important to us. I started with a completely blank slate.

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  • Emma
    Savvy March 2017
    Emma ·
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    Completely in the same boat! For me, it made the wedding planning process easier because I didn't have many deeply-longed-for wedding day hopes and dreams. DH and I really focused on having a day that reflected who we are right now, and it was really wonderful to have people comment on how much the night was "us." I feel like, with my personality, if I'd made those wedding day plans years ago without him in my life, I would have had a hard time letting go of the "me" ideas for "we" ideas.

    With that said, congratulations on finding the love of your life, and I wish you all happiness!!!

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  • Becky
    Devoted April 2017
    Becky ·
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    This will be my second marriage. I was married for 16 years with him for 20. When we got divorced I said I'd never get married again. I didn't have a big wedding the first time and always regretted that. So this time I'm enjoying the planning part and can't wait to have a beautiful day!! Fh also said he'd never get married again, never say never! Lol

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  • Keisha
    Master September 2018
    Keisha ·
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    I never thought I would get married. Even when I met FH I told him I didn't want to get married. I honestly could not see the reasons why people attach themselves to one person for life. That was straight insanity for me. Then I realized after dating for a while why people do it. We are both surprised I didn't run for the hills when I figured out I wanted to marry him. Now I couldn't imagine my life without him

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  • Leanne
    VIP April 2017
    Leanne ·
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    I was never the little girl who dreamed of being married and having a family. Here I am at 35 with 2 kids and getting married.

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  • Kia9
    Super August 2017
    Kia9 ·
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    @Keisha, I felt the same way! To me, marriage always seemed like a prison instead of a paradise - you are contractually obligated to a person instead of actively choosing them every day. But, then I realized that if one of us got sick, no one would be better in supporting our care than the other person. If we want to buy a new house (I am ready to sell mine TODAY), then things would be easier if we were married. I still don't have the sappy illusion of marriage is the deepest sign of commitment - we would be just as committed if we were unmarried - but I do see the benefits and now I do want to settle down and be a one-man woman Smiley smile

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    Me. Just celebrated our 35th anniversary, and that man would do anything for me, and has. I'm glad I was open to having my opinion changed. What I would have missed...

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  • Amy
    Devoted October 2017
    Amy ·
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    I'm the same as @Leanne. I was content on being alone once my kids were grown and gone. My friends teased that I was going to be the crazy cat lady (I have 4 lol). I had been independent for so long that it didn't bother me not to have someone in my life. But I knew my line of thinking had drastically changed when FH were friends and hanging out a lot and he wouldn't be around and I was missing him terribly. It was the first time in a really long time that I felt that way about anyone and I wouldn't change it for the world. It helped me realize that I was waiting for the love of my life to make his presence known and I know that I couldn't live without him.

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  • ToBeMrsWatson
    Super August 2017
    ToBeMrsWatson ·
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    I was married before. and said NEVER NEVER NEVER again.... Then i met this absolutely wonderful man....He made me realize that there is a reason for everything and i KNOW he is the man for me!!! I was going to go to courthouse but he wanted a wedding.... so i am doing things exactly how WE want it and not even caring what my mother or anyone elses opinion is!!!

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  • Yvette
    Devoted November 2017
    Yvette ·
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    Before my FH now i was engaged before 3years ago and my Fiance died. Swore i wasn't getting married

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  • Keisha
    Master September 2018
    Keisha ·
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    @Kia9 I am with you on that. I do not think marriage makes my commitment any greater than couples who decided not to get married officially.

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  • KCJV
    Super February 2018
    KCJV ·
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    I always wanted to get married, but the traits I used to look for in a SO are so far off from my FH. I hit the jackpot with him, and I never would have known how wonderful he is if I wasn't open to dating someone so different from what I thought I wanted.

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  • A
    Master January 2021
    AshleyR ·
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    I never cared to get married. I would be happy in just a long term relationship. Which is still true, but I did come around to the legal benefits of marriage once we bought a house, started to plan for retirement, etc. The boring, mortality related things you don't think of as a kid.

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  • Jessi
    VIP December 2017
    Jessi ·
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    @Yvette, I'm so sorry for your loss. Congrats on moving forward and opening yourself up again, you are an amazingly strong woman.

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  • Seale
    Master November 2017
    Seale ·
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    This is going to be a little long. Sorry in advance. Haha!

    I don't think anyone believed I would find someone I felt was truly good enough to settle down with. Even I believed that. I attribute it to having a bad start in the dating world. I've only had three serious relationships in my life and the first two were horrible in their own ways. For some reason, I picked guys who were naturally opposite of me in every way and who were controlling. One was possessive and emotionally/mentally abusive. I even had a couple of people feel the need to ask if he had ever hit me. It wasn't long after that, that we broke up. As a result, I would rebel against their controlling ways and it would cause arguments. After the second relationship, I spent years single (not even dating a little bit) until two months before I met FH. I decided I wanted to date around. Nothing serious. Just casual stuff. I got so used to being single and by myself that adjusting to dating life was a shock. Most of the dates I went on ended with me annoyed or perplexed at the guy. One guy in particular annoyed the shit out of me. It probably would have been fine if he hadn't verbally shot himself in the foot the night before our first date and it was downhill for him from there. Seriously. He called girls 'gals' and that irrationally pissed me off. It's comical now that I look back on it. I nearly gave up for awhile after this guy but then FH messaged me on Facebook. We had met a couple of years before in college and had felt a connection then but the timing was wrong. He completely changed my mind about marriage and the future.

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  • Teresa
    Super September 2017
    Teresa ·
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    FH had always said he never wanted to get married and when we started dating I accepted that. I liked our family dynamic. He threw me for a loop when he asked and I didn't believe him at first.

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  • Teri
    VIP May 2017
    Teri ·
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    I never wanted to get married or have kids at age 18. A few years later I was married with a baby on the way. Life happens and priorities change.

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