Who Does What Around Your Home?

So we've lived together 2 1/2 years, currently I'm the only one working as my FH is in PA school and now doing his clinical rotations. I take care of mostly all of the cleaning, we schedule our own doctor appointments, do our own laundry, I take care of the grocery shopping, we both cook. Its based on our schedules, with him being so busy with school his only free time is on the weekends. I only work 4 days a week (but 10 hour shifts) so I have a little more time to take care of things.

We aren't married yet but it all works itself out while we were living together. I ask for help when I need it.

View Quoted Comment Same here. I’m naturally going to do be doing more of the day to day housework because during the work week because my partner has very long hours. He’ll do things around the house on the weekends mostly. I don’t mind it.

So for us we schedule our own doctors appts. We talked about things before moving in and both of us like cooking so we take turns. Like tonight I cook, tomorrow he cooks. I usually grocery shop unless I'm busy with work and school then he helps. We split household chores 50/50; he hates laundry and I hate dishes, so he does dishes and I do laundry. It's easy.

Everything kind of just worked out. He hates laundry and I don't mind it, I hate taking out the trash and he doesn't mind that. Dishes we each just do as we have time for them and it works for us.

We also are really open with communicating with each other (like some days I'll say "I just really can't do xyz today", so he will help by doing it)

Some days I'll do everything if I can tell he is stressed and busy. Recently I was sick and so he did everything for a few days.

Its all just communication and teamwork!

My fiance's schedule is a very labor intensive job from 2 am- 2 pm tuesday-saturday, and then he sleeps a lot. I work in the medical field and work 3, 12 hour shifts. So for us, it naturally worked out that I have the extra days and time so I do the majority of the house work. We each do our own laundry, but I assume if/when we have kids I'd do that, again as I'd have extra time. He has a strict diet so we tend to cook our own food and therefore do our own dishes. We schedule our own appointments, although he needs reminding from time to time. I do the grocery shopping. Neither of us really like mowing so we hired a service to come every couple weeks. We alternated snow shoveling in the winter. He's more handy in terms of fixing things, and I'm more handy in terms of putting together furniture, so that's how that divide worked out.

For us, it’s never going to be a perfect 50/50 split and that’s fine. We both work full time from the office standard business hours. We definitely both make our own doctors appointments, I think most adults should. As far as cooking and cleaning - I like to cook more so I naturally do. When I cook he will do the dishes or vacuum. Some days/weeks I’m too exhausted to cook and he’ll pick up more on that side of things. Sometimes he’s a lot busier with work than I am (after hours) so I will do more cleaning. We communicate to each other and help each other when we need it. And if we’re both too busy - we order takeout or call a cleaner 😂.

We got lucky in thay we both naturally prefer traditional roles. I like doing all the cooking and cleaning and housework. I genuinely feel like this is serving my FH and my love language for how I show love is definitely acts of service. My FH does most of the yard work and fixes my car, fixes the faucets, things like that. It's never been something we've had to discuss in the 6ish years we've lived together, it just fell into place.

We split our chores! so if he cooked or i cooked, then the other person does the dishes. usually he does the laundry so i fold and put it away, etc. we are very equal in this household unless one of us is too overly busy with work or whatever else then we will pick up the slack for the other in the time being, that's what partners are too ya know - sometimes we can't give our all into something but as a partner, we are there to help them

So I schedule the appointments, I do the laundry, I do most of the housework although he will clean if I specifically ask him to do something otherwise he has his blinders on to any mess lol. Cooking is us both. We food shop together. Recently he decided to get a second job, so I can't really complain about being the only one who does anything around the house, but I'm not particularly crazy about it.

We split our chores based on who likes, or rather dislikes, certain chores more, and try to split the amount of chores each person has to do 50/50. For example, FH really dislikes loading the dishwasher, so I load it and he'll unload it. I like my clothes nicely folded (and FH sucks at folding), so I'll handle that but he'll load and change over the laundry. He handles any yard work and car maintenance, I handle cooking and cleaning. Naturally not everything gets done sometimes (dishes sit in the sink, laundry piles up, etc.) so we help each other out when we can (he wouldn't want me attempting to change the car oil lol).

He's gotta make his own appointments, though - he's an adult and I'm not going to mother him!

Our roles will never be and haven’t been 50/50; we’ve been together for almost 10 years, living together almost the entire time. My fiancé’s job is much more labor intensive than my desk job and has had different shifts, including grave yard for several years now and also does classes as part of his union job. I don’t expect him to come home and do chores, cook or clean. I do expect him to do certain things, take out trash, check mail, bring the groceries in, etc. I primarily do the grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry & cooking unless I specifically ask for help. On the weekends he likes to enjoy his time off and relax and tackle various projects while watch tv or a podcast. While on my days off I prefer to tidy things up I missed during the week or catch up on work while listening to music. I prefer these things done may way, so I might as well do themself. It’s very satisfying for me to have a clean, organized home. If I’m feeling overwhelmed or overworked, I’ll ask for work help. Growing up that’s how my household ran, similar for him, too. It works for us.

We never formally discussed it, but we do probably 50/50. We grocery shop together and do laundry together (we don't have laundry in our apartment so we go to his parents house nearby to do laundry every weekend). Dishes, cooking, and cleaning is just kind of done by whoever. One night I'll do dishes and the next night he will, or I may do them a few times in a row and then he'll do them a few times in a row. We don't really keep score or anything. We are both super busy: he works 50-60 hours a week and I'm in grad school so have tons of stuff always going on, so we just do things whenever we have time and sometimes on weekends we just go on a cleaning frenzy with him doing 1 chore and me doing another. I'll sometimes make his doctor's appointments, but like...we use the same dentist so I may just make an appointment for both of us when I call. Otherwise, that's on the individual person. We've been married almost 2 years, living together for about 7.

We split by location, he handles outside and I handle inside. Dishes will be done by the one who didn't cook for the most part. Cleaning is done by a housekeeper - it's the best money you will spend, especially if both work full time. I handle all family birthday/Christmas present buying and most travel plans/reservations.

DH cooks.

We split or do the other chores together... well, we did. I'm rather pregnant right now, so there's less and less I can do. Also, with COVID, the laundromat restricts the number of people who go in. I help DH get stuff there, and fold at home, but I can't help him IN the laundromat.

I expect the imbalance to continue until a little after the baby is here, just because of the physical realities of a newborn.

We talked about it beforehand based on routines. Prior to getting married DH rented a room and had roommates. I have two kiddos. My kids have chores they're responsible for or I can pay them off to do (kitchen, trash, their own laundry). I'm fully committed to doing as little work as possible soooo... it's a little imbalanced. He mows the lawn and clean things he wants cleaned. I cook, budget, grocery shop and do the "admin" tasks of the house. Mostly because I was already doing them before he came along and have a good system.

We both do chores around the house but my husband does most of the cleaning since he dislike cooking. But if I’m tired of cooking he’ll know and will cook for us. And vice versa for cleaning. I set up our doctor appointments otherwise we would never go if I wait on him lol. As far as financial obligation, it is even. We split all the bills and groceries. We do a budget at the end of the month so we know where we stand saving wise and how much we spent on each category. Communication is key. If one person is busier than the other that week or month than just let your spouse know. My husband helps out without me asking if he knows he has more time
That week than I do.

My husband works from home, and I generally work 12-hour days, 5-6 days a week. As such, he mostly takes care of the house chores.

I take care of getting all of the bills paid, all appointments/scheduling, filing taxes, and so on.

We split the finances evenly.

I usually meal prep due to dietary needs, but sometimes I am too tired and he will cook for me. Otherwise we generally each handle our own cooking.

We've lived together pretty much our whole relationship (7 years), and we both work the same hours (8-4, 9-5 M-F jobs). At first it was a struggle because he grew up with a stay at home mom who had 4 kids, so he was used to being looked after and not lifting a finger. It got to the point where I had to sit him down and remind him that I wasn't his mother, and didn't plan on becoming her, so I needed him to mature and help around the home. I don't need him to do everything, but if the laundry basket is overflowing, start a load lol. Or if the sink is full of dirty dishes, throw them in the washer.

Since then, it's been a breeze! I start the laundry, but he pitches in with folding and putting the clothes up. I take care of the dishes because I have a certain way I want them placed in the dishwasher. Deep cleaning is all me because, I'm sorry but he just doesn't know how to deep clean properly lol!! We both feel better if I just do it. FH does most of the cooking. I don't have a problem with it, but he prefers to cook, and I'll clean afterwards.

We don't have a specific way to split anything, but in the 4.5 years we've lived together certain things have just fallen to one or the other. He does more outdoor chores, we both split indoor chores evenly, and I do more of the planning/managing of our daily lives. I keep track of appointments and events, make all of the appointments for myself and our dog, but he makes his own.

We don't normally end up doing 50/50 in our daily life. Someone is usually busier or more stressed so that person tends to get a pass on some chores while the other person picks up the slack. It changes from day to day or week to week, and it's just important that we communicate with each other and let the other person know that we can't do 50% of the work that day.

We never actually discussed it, it just kind of happened.

FH handles pretty much everything on the outside of the house, mowing the lawn, watering the grass, shoveling the snow, trimming the trees, taking out the garbage and rolling the garbage bins to and from the street for trash pick up, pretty much all heavy manual and or gross labor is done by him.

While I handle a majority of the clean up inside, I do the laundry, sweep, vacuum, make beds etc. My level of clean and his level of clean aren't the same so I would just be wiping things down behind him anyway lol

We're fair with the split up of the chores, if I have a particularly rough week at work he will help with the cleaning inside if he sees I can't get to something.

We split cooking depending on our work schedule, my work schedule changes so I could be out at 4 in the afternoon or 8 at night. Nights I work till 8 he cooks, but if I'm out at 4 or 6 I cook. Whoever doesn't cook cleans up the kitchen and does the dishes.

I do grocery the grocery shopping since I get out earlier than he does on Saturday's so I just go after work for the next week on Saturday afternoons.